SPEAKER_03: 0:00

Welcome, welcome to the Your Opinion Doesn't Matter podcast. It's been a while, it's been a while, it's been a while. I'm one of the hosts, Mr. Lamont. And on my immediate left is Sherry Berry. How are you doing?

SPEAKER_05: 0:16

I'm doing well, thank you.

SPEAKER_03: 0:18

Nice, nice, nice. And my far left, Mr. Black Jesus. How are you, my bro?

SPEAKER_01: 0:24

I'm good. I'm good. Glad to be back, man. It's been a while. So let's get into this full swing. Give the people what they want. You heard?

SPEAKER_03: 0:32

Yeah, man. It's been um long, long time. It's been a couple of months that all three of us sat together. I did, I did one in between. That was like a couple months ago, too.

SPEAKER_01: 0:40

I had a very peaceful, productive, family-oriented summer. Um it was enjoyable. I had a few memorable moments, you know, between uh, you know, a little, a little party and a little fetting, spending time with the family, enjoying the good weather, things and such like that. So it was it was a very nice summer. I have not no regrets this summer.

SPEAKER_03: 1:04

How was yours, Sherry?

SPEAKER_05: 1:06

Um, it was fast, actually. Summer came and summer left. Um, I'm not a fan of summer, so I'm actually very happy that it's gone. You're not a fan of summer. Absolutely not. No, weather-wise, weather-wise, weather-wise. It's the best part. Um a little too hot for me. Okay. Um, but it came and it left. Um, I had my ups and downs. You know, I had some surgeries, I had things going on. But um, you know, I in between I still found time for me, and um I made the best of it.

SPEAKER_03: 1:38

Nice, nice, nice. Well, summertime for me was pretty interesting. You know, I've I was doing some things that I didn't do before, like on Facebook Live. Okay. I saw they recording me and events and stuff and posting it like on Facebook and an Instagram and stuff like that. Because you know what? I see a lot of things on Facebook, and it's not like uplifting. I see a lot of, oh, somebody passes this, that, and the third. So I was like, let me let me let me just bring some type of um, you know, hey, I'm having a little bit of fun, you know. I'm saying maybe people could see the kids. Anything I'm doing, I'm posting it's just it's around, it's around um kids like block parties and stuff like that, or even my event that has nothing to do with kids, though. But um, my um, I was out on Jamaica Avenue over the summer selling my game at a booth, having some fun, you know?

SPEAKER_01: 2:20

Yeah, yeah, I've seen that. It's funny you said that, because I realize now with social media now, it brings everything to your doorstep. It could be negative or it could be positive. What I'm noticing now is it brings death right to your doorstep. You're more aware of people passing away more than anything. Just sometimes it's just depressing just to go, you know? Just to show. Yes. You see it so much. Yeah, but on the other side, it brings a lot of positive events to your life too, you know? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 2:47

Yeah, man. That's um something, something you you go in there to see, hey, like, see what this person's doing, that person's doing, and then boom, something else is going on. But and also, um, I what I learned is when you go Facebook Live, people could just pop up on you when you wherever you at.

SPEAKER_01: 3:02

I never did live.

SPEAKER_03: 3:08

It should be some type of etiquette. And it also should be some type of um, I called Sterling the other day. I was um, I had messaged this this dude. I'm in a group chat and I was telling him about some nonprofit stuff, right? Because I knew they had a nonprofit. And um I didn't, I didn't I didn't really like what the guy said. See, I know one of them is two people. So the the one I know, he didn't reply, but the one his colleague said something. And I'm like, I'm like, I don't like it too tough, what he said. But then I called, but you know, through text, you can't really, you know, what do they mean by this? And then I called Still, I said, yo, Still, what what do you get by this? And he says, Yo, my. He's just being straightforward, he's just feeling straightforward. He don't he don't owe you nothing, he just tells you the truth, you know what I'm saying? But I don't want to go into the particulars, but it was something that I I just didn't I didn't like.

SPEAKER_01: 3:59

I think you should elaborate a little, just get a little more so that people can have understanding right.

SPEAKER_03: 4:04

So only time I enter this chat is to um tell them about some things they could I they could pursue as a nonprofit, right?

SPEAKER_01: 4:12

Business wise, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 4:13

Business wise, nothing personal, nothing to do with me.

SPEAKER_01: 4:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_03: 4:17

So I say something in regards to yo, there's an opportunity for you, maybe if you want to do this, that, and the third.

SPEAKER_01: 4:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_03: 4:23

And his reply to me was um, first he's talking about how much he's getting paid. And I'm like, what? This is not a paid situation, it's about what you can get out of, what you could do to get out of it, not me paying you. Then he comes back with a no, sorry, I I um I'm only gonna do only thing is the only time I do free things is for my organization. Right? And I'm like, Why not just to me? That's what I'm reading, reading it to Sterling, but it's a little more. I ain't gonna go get into extra what he said, but Sterling just say, yo. Matter of fact, I send it to you too.

SPEAKER_05: 4:59

He sure did.

SPEAKER_03: 4:59

I send it to you too, and then both of y'all were saying, yo, that was too much extra sauce on it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05: 5:04

But that's the thing with texting, though. Texting can be read in in all kinds of ways. So I'm I'm not my text is very like limited words because I feel like it can be misconstrued, people can take it in different ways. So I rather, old-fashioned way, pick up the phone and call, or let's see, let's sit down and talk because you know, trying to express it sometimes in texting, you know.

SPEAKER_03: 5:27

Right.

SPEAKER_05: 5:28

So he could have just interpreted that totally different, yeah, you know, in the way that it came across. It just, you know.

SPEAKER_01: 5:34

Yeah, that's the key. Text is open to interpretation. Yes. So there's many, there's many forces where you can go.

SPEAKER_03: 5:41

Exactly. Hey, I believe there should be text etiquettes, like it should be like C Jane Run. That's how you need to you need to put it so we can understand there's no Da Vinci code in it. You read it, oh, that's what he means. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01: 5:54

Yeah, but that's why we we should stay towards to the basic because open communication, verbalizing, face to face.

SPEAKER_05: 6:01

Hi, how are you?

SPEAKER_01: 6:02

You know, have a great day. Yeah, therefore, it's it's less it's less ways for for it to be taken a wrong way if you're in somebody's presence, openly communicating with them. You understand?

SPEAKER_03: 6:14

That's correct. That's correct. Yes, that's correct. But yeah, y'all had a topic that y'all wanted to talk about, you know, it's pretty interesting.

SPEAKER_01: 6:22

Yeah, um, I've been noticing lately around my environment, you know, being that way, you know, we're a little up there in age, you know, going to the third trimester of our lifetime. So you figure, you know, people will want to, you know, settle down and be peaceful together. But I'm noticing a lot of people around me, especially couples, you know, they're they are deciding to go separate ways in their relationship. And I'm like, wow. So I think one of the major factors, as always, when couples decide not to stick it out, has to do with infidelity. So the questions I wanted to ask is if us now, at this point in our life, if we found out that our significant other was being promiscuous outside a relationship, how would we handle it? Will we take it as a direct interpretation that this person doesn't love us no more? And will we be willing to move past it?

SPEAKER_05: 7:24

So um I hear you. But I don't think age, well age has something to do with it, but me personally, yeah, I would I would stick it out. People cheat, okay. Doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. Doesn't mean that she doesn't love you, it could just be that they're going through something. I don't think that people are so quick to like just give up. So we're all different in relationships, right? You go through a relationship, you love your man, you love your woman, you're going through stuff. You could be going through something in your relationship, and he went outside of the relationship. I don't think that he doesn't love you. I don't think that he doesn't care about you. I don't think that that men can do what they gotta do and they could come right back is sex. Thank you, girl. You ain't you ain't mess up my hair today. All right. Next. He still loves me.

SPEAKER_02: 8:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05: 8:19

Because we have an emotional connection, we have a lot going on, we have finances together, we talk about everything. I know him. You're having a moment. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03: 8:30

Okay. Oh, yeah. Listen. What they say, fat, skinny, tall, short, medium, man, don't he gonna do it, and then you know, he's gonna come back to his woman.

SPEAKER_05: 8:40

But eventually, if he loves me, he will come back, he will come back to me. We all go through different things in life in different stages and different times, and your household is not always great. And this is not a this is not a go-ahead pass to say, well, go ahead and cheat and cheat and cheat. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that if a man does cheat, I don't think that means that he doesn't love his wife or he doesn't love his girlfriend or his fiance or whatever you are to that person. I think that sometimes things happen in relationships and you don't know what that person is going through. And also for us women, we lose ourselves. We forget, we think we are so confident, like yo, I have him and I got him that we don't we don't know how to keep him. That's just that's just the reality that happens. We're so comfortable with like that's my man and I got him. So I no longer have to put forth the effort. I no longer have to, you know, I don't cook. I'll fit he'll figure it out. I don't clean. He'll figure it out, you know. I don't have to do all those things. I used to come in and kiss him and say goodnight and good morning. Now he's here all the time. I don't have to do those things, but those are the same things that he still wants. And there goes that girl that walked past. She's looking good, she's smelling sweet. She said hi. She said, How you doing? She said, How was your day? And then that's mean she got him. But it doesn't mean that he doesn't want that from the person that he developed a bond with. I understood. It just means that you filled in for that time. Thank you, girl, from the lesson. So now I can now continue on and keep him.

SPEAKER_03: 10:14

But me, me, me personally, I I I can't keep a woman that she cheat on me. So I don't care what age, what what what semester I'm in?

SPEAKER_05: 10:22

But women cheat, women cheat, women cheating, women cheating. Not to say anything, but I said a woman cheat, that is a problem because she's gonna get an emotional connection with somebody. Right. Men is gonna screw.

SPEAKER_03: 10:35

Right. So then that's there's no, there's like like you said, it's this it's like an instinct, not an instinct, but whatever you want to call it, men can do it and then just still love their woman. Yeah, yeah. When a woman cheats.

SPEAKER_05: 10:47

I'm telling you, if if if I touch somebody else's leg, it's a rap.

SPEAKER_03: 10:51

Yeah. It's like it's like a woman feels for the man some some if they cheat, it's it's a bigger, it's a bigger thing.

SPEAKER_01: 10:59

Well, um, as far as me, right? For years, I am very uh stubborn and I'm very old-fashioned. And I always believed, and especially in the past, if I found any woman I'm dealing with cheating on me, it was an automatic, okay, that's over. Gotta move on, so and so. But now that I'm getting older, I'm not saying I wouldn't tolerate that, but my perspective has changed a little bit. Now, what if, let's just say, I'll give you an example. What if she's cheating, treating you well at home, cooking, cleaning, satisfy you sexually, things of sort, and then you find out she's cheating out. Does that with that? She gotta go.

SPEAKER_05: 11:48

She gotta go.

SPEAKER_03: 11:49

She's out of here. She's out of here. She gotta go. Listen, it don't matter what she's doing.

SPEAKER_05: 11:52

She's just basically saying, she's basically saying, I wanna have my cake and eat it too. I like whatever you do at home because you're paying the bills and you're taking care of home, and I'm still going out there and I'm getting my extra. She doesn't love you. That's not love. I'm just saying, as a woman, I'm a woman. If I'm gonna put my attention into somebody else, then that's my focus. I personally, I could focus on one dude at a time. I can't do multiples. I'm sorry, that's too much for me. That's too much lying, that's too much. I gotta try to keep up, that's too much for me. I gotta I gotta run down to figure out, get you out, and get that's too much. Um I'm not doing all of that. Me personally. But what I do know is that if I'm talking to somebody else, there's something about him that psyches my interest. There's something else about him that I want to know. I don't have time to focus on the person that I'm with. I'm gonna focus on that person because there's something about him that wants me calling to him. So I can't I can't do both, me personally. So I'm telling for most women, and they could sit here and the women could tell me whatever, and I would love to hear other people's comments or whatever they have to say. But I'm saying for me as a woman, the attention, I'm a lover. So trust me, if I'm if I'm talking to somebody else, I don't got time for you at home because I need him. I need my attention on him. I want to be told him. So you would know if I'm cheating on you. You would know. You don't have to think about it, you don't have to think, you're gonna know. Once you see I'm not checking for you, I'm not loving on you, I'm not caring, I'm not, I'm not texting, I'm not calling you, I'm not caring, I'm out the door. There's somebody else that's seeking my interests. It's just that simple. It's not, you know, women, women are, you could tell a woman, you know when a woman is doing something. You know when she's doing something. If somebody else got me, he got me.

SPEAKER_03: 13:45

It's over.

SPEAKER_05: 13:46

It's over. I'm not interested in you. What you doing for me? There's nothing that you're doing for me. And the more you keep giving, if the more you keep staying away, and the more you keep doing all of that, you just leading her into somebody else's arm.

SPEAKER_03: 13:58

What's that song JC said? When the um when a good girl turned bad, she's gone forever.

SPEAKER_05: 14:04

It's just a matter of time. She's gone forever. You gotta know your household. That's how I look at it.

SPEAKER_01: 14:09

Yeah, I'm just I'm just trying to play devil's advocate because I know many men, and I'm sure you do too. There's a lot of guys out there that find out that their woman is out there being promiscuous, and then they somehow they they psych themselves out to make them feel like they was part of the problem. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03: 14:25

You just said I'm saying exactly, and and then look at look at what they're doing now, yeah, or what how they helped you as a person. Screw all that.

SPEAKER_01: 14:32

And they and they're willing to go back into that relationship. Screw that. I'm I'm just thinking, I think the same thing.

SPEAKER_05: 14:38

Are they going back to the relationship or are they just waiting it out?

SPEAKER_03: 14:42

No, going back to the relationship.

SPEAKER_05: 14:44

Well, from the outside, from the outside. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_03: 14:48

What do you mean by that? What do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_05: 14:49

Because you can go back to the relationship for certain things, but you you never a man doesn't forget.

SPEAKER_04: 14:54

Oh, yeah, never forget. A man doesn't forget.

SPEAKER_05: 14:56

You could tell me whatever you want to tell me. He does not forget that his wife or his girlfriend that he once loved was out there doing something with somebody else.

SPEAKER_03: 15:05

Yeah, see, that's why you don't keep it. We visualize.

SPEAKER_05: 15:08

He just said he just said that they come back. So I'm saying he comes back. What is the reason? Because in the back of my head, I'm always thinking, I'm am I sleeping with one eye open? Does he really love me? Does he really check for me? Does he really do like this you a man don't forget? Women can tend to say, I forget. A man is not forgiving you. He is not forgiving you, he is not. No way, it's alternative motive. He's not. The things that you share and the bond that you share with that girl, for him to think that you giving that to somebody else, that already, especially if you're good at what you do.

SPEAKER_01: 15:44

He's I understand, I understand. I'm just trying to get it. I'm just saying. I'm just I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_05: 15:51

If I'm good at what I'm doing, you don't want to you don't want me to share that with nobody else.

SPEAKER_01: 15:55

No, no.

SPEAKER_05: 15:56

If I make you feel a certain way, you don't want to think in your brain cell the thought process that I might be doing that to somebody.

SPEAKER_01: 16:03

But that's not really true. I'm just gonna venture off into another subject that what about people that have open relationships now? The open relationship is just open marriages where they're willing to let somebody else touch what's what's but eventually it goes sour.

SPEAKER_05: 16:16

If you notice people that have um open relationships, right? Or open marriages or whatever you want to call it. So, okay, we we're freaks. Okay. Swingers, swing. We're gonna have swingers, or we're gonna have threesomes, and we're gonna do all of this stuff. Suppose, suppose the girl could do a split and I can't do a split. You always want to go after that split. That in your insurance, you're like, oh, come here. Suppose he got a bigger and he she running after that. I don't want any of that. I don't want any of that.

SPEAKER_01: 16:48

I hear you. I hear you. What do you feel about that, Mind? You feel you could ever be in an open relationship or open marriage where you're you're you're free to venture out and to be promiscuous with other people now in the past?

SPEAKER_03: 17:01

Yes. Not for me now, like say the relationship it has to be established from jump. I can't be like right now, I'm like seven, eight years in, and then hey, let's have an open relationship. No, it can be open one way, my way. You know what I'm saying? She can't be open, you know.

SPEAKER_05: 17:16

You very you know what, Monty, you know what? I was I was with you for a minute, but you know, you very like if she wanna open the door, I'll, you know, but for me only, she don't get a whole way past, only me.

SPEAKER_03: 17:29

But I mean, I wouldn't want that though. I mean, you know, I wouldn't want that. I'm just saying that. It's just entertainment only people, it's entertainment only peoples.

SPEAKER_01: 17:36

No, yeah.

SPEAKER_05: 17:37

But I feel like she should have some sort of say so because I if if we're gonna go that way, I want to be able to pick and say what goes on too. So it can't just be your way. So it's just if it's just you being pleased, then we don't what that's that's corny.

SPEAKER_01: 17:50

So do you think that the the the relationship could be fruitful after you go through this phase where we have an open relationship, we experiment with other people, and then we decide now we're gonna get together and we're gonna move on. Do you think those relationships survive?

SPEAKER_03: 18:04

Um, yeah, listen, it it does kind of because um you could say open relationship if you're dealing with it, if you're dealing with somebody and you and you ain't make her your girl, but you've been dealing with her for a couple years, and then but you're doing your thing and she might be doing her thing. I'm I know that first hand. You understand what I'm saying? You're dealing with somebody and you know you you you call up her like three times a month or something like that. You're dealing with her. She's it's an open thing right there. But that's a different type of opening.

SPEAKER_05: 18:32

That's a different type, yeah. Yeah, I was like, because your girl don't know about her. You're doing you.

SPEAKER_03: 18:37

No, no, no, she's not your girl. If somebody you're dealing with, like say somebody's open, oh, you're talking about an open relationship, relationship, relationship.

SPEAKER_05: 18:43

I'm saying any female, any female out there that's listening to this process, let me tell you something. If you're dealing with a guy, I don't care if he's there Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, if he's dealing with you, he's there at a certain time, a certain moment, and that's all he's giving you, that's not your man. I'm gonna tell you that's not your man. Say it again. If you are with, if you're dealing with a guy, say you're dealing with a guy, you met a guy, he likes you, whatever, you like him, or you banging or whatever, and he's there around you at a certain moment, at a certain time, just for like a little bit of a time. There's nothing else that you guys have going on. So he comes, maybe he sleeps, sleeps with you, or he sleeps by you, and he bangs you or whatever, and you don't know nothing else about that's not your man. True. You're a convenience. True. Call it what you want to call it. True. It's a convenience. That's not your man. He's there by you, you're convenient. I could come lay my head with you. You probably think, and then I'm up, I'm out, I'm moving about. We do nothing else.

SPEAKER_01: 19:42

Yeah, yeah. That's not your man. What are some of the signs when you're when you're that that that uh person just there and you know it's not going anywhere. You're just uh uh the side person. What are the signs that you should look out for?

SPEAKER_05: 19:59

I feel like you already, I don't know if there's a sign, but I feel like you already accepted it the moment that you let him into your into your home or into your life, and you don't know anything about him. Like you've never been to his home, you've never met the family, you never met his family, you never met anything else about him. You just know that he comes and ring your bell, or he comes in at, you know, thing, and because he lay with you for a couple of hours, or he comes and lay his head down there, that doesn't make him man. You never found out anything about him. So you already what are we what are we really doing? I would never I would never argue with a female like that. Girl, you are just for the moment. I can tell you that in your face. You know, you're just a moment for whatever he's going through or whatever it is, because you don't know anything about him. If you don't know anything about him, if you've never visited him in his home, you never went by his door, you never went inside, you never checked. You you just for the moment. And maybe you're just a convenient, maybe he's going through something, and if it works out for you, you're just the next victim.

SPEAKER_01: 21:05

Yeah, there's actually people out like like from what I understand now, side chicks, a side man is a big thing, and there are actually people right now that love playing that position where they don't have to put too much into it and they could just be But you know, eventually she or he would. You I think I think we're just thinking about how we are old-fashioned. I think the dynamics have changed when it comes to relationship and sex right now. And the same things we wanted when we was coming up, or what we what we demand is not in demand no more. And I think people uh uh are shallow uh emotionally now.

SPEAKER_05: 21:40

I think if if you're gonna open, if I'm gonna open my door at four o'clock in the morning or five o'clock in the morning, you know, just for you to come and ban me and lay your head down for a couple of hours or whatever, and then you get up and you do it all over again. I really will feel like I'm a used pillow after a while.

SPEAKER_01: 21:56

Women like that, Sharianne.

SPEAKER_05: 21:58

That I mean, I'm just saying what I would feel like. I can't speak for, you know, thing for a woman like that. I can guarantee you that she's also doing her. It's just less for her to think about with you. So you might be the person that she says, you know, you're gonna come by, but she's talking to other people. I can guarantee you that.

SPEAKER_01: 22:16

Obviously, yeah.

SPEAKER_05: 22:17

Because there's something within her that she's missing. If you're okay with that, there's something within you that you're missing. Yeah, because why are you so comfortable just opening your door at four or five o'clock in the morning and having a guy lay up in your house on my bed, on my sheets, and then when he gets ready, he's just up and out and he's gone. And if he decides to come by today or he don't come by, then that's all that I have.

SPEAKER_03: 22:40

Women do it too. What I'm telling you. Women do that, make them calls four in the morning.

SPEAKER_01: 22:44

I have a friend that had that dynamic and he loved it. And whenever she called and said, listen, brother, I'm in town, meet me at the telly.

SPEAKER_05: 22:53

He's but it was just a sex thing, right?

SPEAKER_01: 22:55

Yeah. But he was he was okay with it.

SPEAKER_05: 22:58

But that's what I'm saying, it's just sex, it's just sex, it's just sex. There's nothing else to do.

SPEAKER_01: 23:02

I know I don't I wouldn't say it was Jack says, he liked being around, he liked being around this woman. Just on it, was just only on her terms, and he liked that. He got a kick out of that. So I I I I actually know a guy that that loved that dynamic.

SPEAKER_03: 23:14

He's a side piece, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 23:15

He he he was a man whore, basically. Hey, have you? He was a man whore.

SPEAKER_03: 23:19

Was you ever a side piece, Sterling? I mean, women didn't.

SPEAKER_01: 23:22

I think at some point in our life we all were a side piece.

SPEAKER_03: 23:25

No, it and knew it.

SPEAKER_01: 23:26

Of course, for for for not not so for a certain amount of time, yes.

SPEAKER_03: 23:30

Oh, okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01: 23:32

You understand? I think all of us at some time dealt with somebody that was married or had a a a boyfriend, and when that boyfriend was away, you would go ahead and it's the same dynamic. You're a side piece for the moment. You understand?

SPEAKER_03: 23:45

Is it the same, Sherry? You think?

SPEAKER_05: 23:47

I think it is the same. I think I I think it's I think it's the same. I mean, everybody has choices in life, and sometimes some people, you know, you like that person that much that you honestly believe that that person will be yours, or you know, that is your that's the intent that you're going with. So you go along with it in hopes that you know it works out that way. And sometimes it does work out where the person would leave the person that they're with. Very rarely. You know, I got I got it. I'm just saying, sometimes it does work out that way. It does be very rare because it feels I feel personally, if he's willing to jump up and go to you, he knows what he's gonna get. Because you're this this is what you this is who you are.

SPEAKER_03: 24:30

I know a situation where the side the side person who was beefing with the um the the mother the wife. Yes, things was getting hot between them, and next thing you know, the side the side woman became the wife, and then she got mad, he was cheating on her. It's crazy. I don't I don't believe so it's like a it was like you you knew you was that person to him. Now what you you mad at him because he got somebody's that person to you, you know?

SPEAKER_01: 25:01

Yeah, yeah. That's wow. That doesn't change. I remember um when I was younger, I met somebody that was with somebody, and you know, we began indulging into each other, and somebody told me, an older, wiser cousin, because I really like this person. And he's he told me, he said, You see, the same way how she's doing her boyfriend with you, she's gonna do you the same thing. And you know, fast forward six months a year later, the boyfriend was out of the picture. I became the main dude, and before you know it, she was doing the same thing to me. That's just who she's like, yeah, you understand, and then I realized that's that's just who she is. You understand what I'm saying? And it's kind of the same term as like not to be so blunt, but you it's like you can't turn a hoe into a housewife. You understand what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03: 25:45

Hey, I mean, hey, hey, I think you could turn some hoes into a housewife, though.

SPEAKER_01: 25:50

Elaborate, Mont.

SPEAKER_03: 25:54

You could find you could, you could, you could make a a girl, like say you go to a strip club, you might think she's a hoe.

SPEAKER_01: 26:01

What do you mean she might think she's a hoe?

SPEAKER_03: 26:03

How you would know if a girl is a hoe? How you gonna know?

SPEAKER_05: 26:05

Monty, Monty, Monty, I think you can take, I think you could tell her a hoe with a housewife.

SPEAKER_03: 26:10

Depends, depends what you are.

SPEAKER_05: 26:12

That's all embedded in her. If she if she is a person that cannot be tamed, let me tell you, if you're messing with a girl, you messing with a girl and she messes with somebody else, or she may bring something back to you, or whatever. I'm telling you, she is still talking to somebody else. That is somebody that cannot be pleased. Oh, no matter who you are, no matter what you do, she wants more. She wants more. Because if she's messing with you, she's gonna find a way to mess with somebody else. That's who she is.

SPEAKER_01: 26:41

To elaborate on what mine said, that could be just a certain fade phase in her life. It could be on the other side, we I think we knew many girls growing up and they were very promiscuous. And now we look at them now and they're they're they seem happily married and they have the family aspect. So we wonder, are they still doing the same things they used to do? But realistically, we gotta think to ourselves, they had to put that side of them away.

SPEAKER_03: 27:04

Because I'm saying, like, how you're saying it, Sterling. What you're saying is more or less like me and you saying the same thing, but Sherry Anne's thinking of it, like if she wants to be a hoe, she's gonna continue. We're talking about if she's ready to change her life, can we, would we wanna No, you didn't say that. You said I mean, but we know she's a hoe. We know she says she gave up life.

SPEAKER_05: 27:24

I'm going off of what you're saying to me. So I'm saying I just feel like if that's what she does, it's just a matter of time because she cannot, she she has a problem. She has a problem. So it doesn't matter what you do. Some people are just not, you're just never enough. So it's like you know, you're not enough. She's gonna go out and find somebody else that fulfills, you know, whatever it is because that's who she is as a person. I'm that's all I'm saying. That could be who she is. That's who she is as a person. So it doesn't matter what you bring on this. It's like you dating somebody, you talking to somebody, and you you bring her in. You gotta constantly watch your wife or your girlfriend all the time because that's that's crazy. Why do I want to talk to somebody that I gotta constantly keep my eye on every minute, wherever you go, whatever you do. That's that's crazy.

SPEAKER_01: 28:13

I understand, but we're saying could that same person could evolve into something and and put those bad traits behind her and become somebody's legitimate?

SPEAKER_05: 28:21

I'm not gonna say no because that's that's that's like a why. I think things like this happen. It would it it happens, it depends on the individual and where she is in her life, and it depends on the on the man and what he brings to her that would have her to change.

SPEAKER_00: 28:36

That's key.

SPEAKER_05: 28:37

Because it's what you bring to me that's gonna make me want to change because women change for men all day. Yes, you know, that's true. We could be one way and then we meet somebody that just touched the right toe and the right time and and increased, and then you are just a different person, you know. So the person I I am or was, I'm no longer because that person makes me want to change. It has happened, so it can happen. You know, I can I can change for somebody because that's the person that he brings so much happiness to me that whatever he doesn't like of me, I'm willing to change that because that person brings that much happiness to my door. Why not?

SPEAKER_01: 29:14

Yeah, yeah. And like I like we're saying, even sometimes it doesn't take the person, a person to make you change. Because as we grow, we change anyway. And we go to different phases of our life.

SPEAKER_05: 29:25

But would you change for that person? Because you got you, you I I can look at it like this. Like, I love to party, right? I've always been like that. I love to party, I love to have a good time. But if I meet and I'm with somebody that says, babe, you know what? I don't want you outside like that. I want you there. Would I change? Absolutely. Because that person brings so much joy to my life that I don't need to be outside. I don't need to go there, and I don't need to do that. He's content with me being home, and I'm content with being with him.

SPEAKER_01: 29:56

Um I understand that, but I just don't define it as me changing for the Person, I think it's half and half. It's me changing and me wanting to change to be something better myself. You wanted to change that for fashion. Just bought it out into you. Yes. That's that's yeah. I think that's a better definition.

SPEAKER_05: 30:10

I wanted to change, and that person just brought that out in me. So it makes, you know, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_03: 30:15

And that's how that's how it happened. That's how it happens when you you want to find a reason to. I remember years back, I wanted to find a reason to stop drinking. I always I used to, I was like, yo, man, I wish the doctor told me something. Not that I'm gonna, you know, passing away or nothing, but like say, like, my liver's bad and you gotta stop. And then um it never happened. This is over, this was this was over ten years ago. I would wanted the doctor to tell me something. But it just so happened that something else happened, like far as my weight. The doctor had said to me, he said, okay, Lamar, you gotta do something about your weight. You gotta do something about your weight. And you need to lower this and lower that. So I say, you know what? That's how I found my out in drinking.

SPEAKER_01: 30:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_03: 30:56

I had I said, let me stop drinking, because I'm I'm all that calories is really messing me up. Yeah, you know what I mean? And then that was a reason, yeah. That's like you said, you'll find a reason.

SPEAKER_01: 31:04

Yeah. And you wanted you wanted that change. That changed you from within.

SPEAKER_03: 31:07

Yeah, you wanted it, but you know. And the doctor just helped you along that along those lines.

SPEAKER_01: 31:12

Push you along to the to the destination where you wanted to go anyway.

SPEAKER_03: 31:15

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 31:16

So even if it wasn't for that doctor, you still would have found a way to stop drinking. That's how I feel about it. Yeah, eventually. Yeah, eventually.

SPEAKER_03: 31:21

It would have been it would have been probably took a little bit of time.

SPEAKER_05: 31:24

Well, you know, but something else too. Men, men nowadays, I'm the only female here, so you know, don't show me up.

SPEAKER_01: 31:29

We're gonna take it easy.

SPEAKER_05: 31:30

Um so now men nowadays, especially like in the dating scene, some of these men are very aggressive of how they come across and how they, you know, how they deal with females. And so it's it's it could it's kind of like disheartening kind of a little bit because you know you're coming off so aggressive. And I feel like you're a grown man. You don't need to come, you don't, you've had plenty of sex. Oh, you should have, at least at the age that you are. So you don't need to be so aggressive, you know, nowadays in dynamics when you when you're 40 plus and you meet and you meet a woman, you don't need to be aggressive. You don't need to talk about sex all day, every day. You don't need to do that. You you already did this. So, you know, it's kind of, you know, for for women that are single or or women that are dating or looking or whatever the case may be, you could just be your regular self. You come to the table with something, you're coming off very aggressive. And that's what I wanted to like dive into a little bit. The aggressiveness out there nowadays, you know, when you meet a man. Oh, so you single? Yeah, okay, or you talking to somebody, yeah. Well, why he not here with you? So since he's not here with you, so you know, let me get your number, and you know, the aggression. It's like, okay, dude, relax.

SPEAKER_01: 32:48

Yeah, yeah. Well, I don't understand. Like I said, the world changed so much from where we came up.

SPEAKER_05: 32:55

You know, we was more and it's not that many men out here.

SPEAKER_01: 32:58

Yeah, mine could elaborate with weakness.

SPEAKER_05: 32:59

We don't have much choice.

SPEAKER_01: 33:00

We was more of the lyrical game, right? Yeah. You try to finesse her verbally.

SPEAKER_02: 33:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 33:05

You understand? But now things have changed, that that's thrown out the window. And like you said, I can't understand it because I see it myself. Because I I work in a high school with high school kids and the bluntness that the guys come across to these girls, and these girls eat it up. And I I just can't I can't believe it. You know, it's it's it's basically like, you know, that's fuck. Excuse me. You know what I'm like? Yeah, yeah. You know, and and but you would think, you know, when we was growing up, if a guy came across a girl like that, he would get cursed out, and the the girl probably get her brothers and cousins to come beat the dude up after that. But right now, I think it's the opposite. I think if you come like that to certain girls, they think you're a bust or they think you're a weak and they don't pay you any mind. I think the game just flipped.

SPEAKER_03: 33:50

You know, I'm gonna tell you something. I was gonna tell y'all something in the chat, and I we have a little group chat, and I was gonna I was gonna tell y'all a situation. I this person, uh, a homegirl knows me, she calls me, right? She knows my fiance, so everybody we know each other. It ain't like that, y'all. So she was telling me about um this dude that every time she'll get in a train, like for the last three weeks, there'll they'll be you know engaging eye contact, right? And then one day she said, All right, the next time we see each other, we're gonna exchange numbers.

SPEAKER_01: 34:18

So she said it to herself.

SPEAKER_03: 34:20

To him.

SPEAKER_01: 34:20

Oh, wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 34:21

I think I said it was leading.

SPEAKER_01: 34:23

Wow, yeah, that sounds crazy, right?

SPEAKER_03: 34:26

Um, it was a Friday. They exchanged numbers. She saw him, they exchanged numbers by Sunday he sending her private pics.

SPEAKER_00: 34:37

That's a new shit.

SPEAKER_03: 34:39

I'm like, I'm like, what? And then she but she well, but she's but she but now this was like this was like Monday or Tuesday, she was telling me this. I'm like, I said, what are you telling me this?

SPEAKER_01: 34:50

Did she repost?

SPEAKER_05: 34:51

No, I'm like, I'm like why is she even going up to saying I'm gonna make you my number in a couple of things? Yeah, but that's because now you just gave her open to like you thirsty.

SPEAKER_03: 35:00

Because she's she says that she said this is common, Mike. I've tested that. This is common, but I'm like, wait a minute. So hold on. I said, it's even it's even it's it's worse for you even telling me this that you'd even what's worse is she's not repulsed by the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, that that you that this is okay with you.

SPEAKER_01: 35:16

Yeah, you're talking about how old is this young lady? She's grown.

SPEAKER_03: 35:19

She's grown. That's what I'm telling you. Oh, I think because he went to prison. I said, what? I said, why are you justifying this? Yeah, why are you justifying this? I said, yo, listen, you're getting me upset, man. You getting me upset.

SPEAKER_01: 35:34

At my point, many women do. She likes it.

SPEAKER_05: 35:38

But no, it's it's a turn off to me personally. I like to be in my own.

SPEAKER_01: 35:42

But we're the minority when it comes to things like that, though.

SPEAKER_05: 35:45

I'm I and you know what? I'd rather be coin because I I got dissed, you know, a couple of times because I'm just like, I'm okay. You know, if I tell you I I got somebody or whatever the situation may be, just leave it, just leave it be. The person don't have to be standing by me. He does not have to stand with me or stand on my side or be with me every moment. If I tell you that I'm with somebody, respect that game and let it be. If I tell you I'm single, respect that game and let it be. Single does not mean an open invitation to come and talk to me every single time you see me or want to know whatever. If I tell you I'm with somebody, just leave it alone. They're too aggressive for me. And then it's like, you know, what do you have? What do you have? You don't have nothing. You don't have nothing. But you want to know my credentials. I'm I'm I I take care of me. I take care of me, and I'm I'm well capable of taking care of me. And for me to even engage in a conversation with you, that means I want more from you. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01: 36:45

I just, I just and and do these guys offer any verbal stimulation?

SPEAKER_05: 36:49

No, that's the thing, is that these guys nowadays they don't know how to talk to females. They don't, they're not intellectual at all. They don't know how to strike a conversation, they don't know how to take people out or get to know them. And you know, it's just really like you just want one thing. And I'm just saying, grown women, I'm talking to the viewers out there, grown women, 40 plus, you shouldn't want more than just to come to your house that you work hard and you built or you did whatever you did to just come and sit in your house. You should wish you should want more than that. You know, nobody wants to take the time out to say, let me take her out to dinner, let me have a conversation, let's talk about something else. What's going on in today's society? Maybe the news, you know, maybe an article or something. Let me get to know her. You don't want to talk about nothing. You want to know, am I driving? You want to know, do I have my own place? You want to come by, you want to come sit on my couch, you want to come and lay on my bed. Give me something more. You should want more. You should want more.

SPEAKER_01: 37:52

But on the. But on the other side, I seen a few instances where um I there's a few guys that might meet a girl and offer to take her out, and then she agrees. And if he takes her to Applebee's, then she's online dissing him. Saying that there's a lot of people. But then you should you should you should want more than Applebee's to more than Applebee's?

SPEAKER_00: 38:11

He should have he should have a cheesecake factory. That'll things that are legit.

SPEAKER_05: 38:15

He should have more to say than that. Now, it all depends on the conversation. I'm gonna say, I don't think that he's cheap because he took you to Applebee's or he took you. I don't, even if it was a thing, I don't think it's cheap.

SPEAKER_03: 38:26

You gonna get out the car?

SPEAKER_05: 38:27

Excuse me?

SPEAKER_03: 38:27

Oh, you get out in the car. If he drives up, Applebee's has an extended menu.

SPEAKER_01: 38:30

You could get this.

SPEAKER_03: 38:31

Would you get out the car?

SPEAKER_05: 38:34

She ain't getting out of the car factories. No, no, that's no, that's not what I'm saying. What I am saying is that by the conversation, he should know the level as to where you want to be. So it's nothing wrong with him taking me to Applebee's, and maybe I would get out the car, Monty, to be fair. Maybe I would get out the car, but that has to be in the conversation of I know I'm all right with that. Like I'm cool with that. Because there's nothing wrong with we probably just go in and watch a game and talk and just know each other. So I'm a full ways, yeah. That doesn't mean that he's not a man, his pocket is not full, and he's not good and not willing to take care of his house and his home and everything. But he doesn't have to take me to um, you know, the state place or whatever on the that doesn't really mean that he's not well off or he's not good. I just feel like they don't even make the effort. Everybody just want to know, oh, you look good, or you a pretty girl, or you know, you sexy and all of this. Okay, all right. What's what's more beyond that? What's what's more beyond that?

SPEAKER_03: 39:33

I mean, before I was in this relationship, long-term relationship, I I never was I never was that guy taking a chick to no fancy places. Never. Never. I was never it's like that was not if that's not a place I'm comfortable at, I won't, I won't, you know, like you dragging me out of my water, you know what I'm saying? It's not that's not that's not where I'll be at. It's like if I want to take you to a bar, yeah, or take you to a party, things I do.

SPEAKER_01: 39:55

Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_05: 39:56

And then remember, your first impression sometimes is what the person wants all the time. So I feel like, you know what, if if you take her to a high class and place, you gotta keep that up all the time. And I'm gonna say that, you know, in in multiple times. Even if, even if you went out and you went to, you went out and you guys decide to sleep together, whatever your case may be, and he took you now. You took me to uh a hotel and it's it's an upgraded hotel. I want that all the time. You could never go back and tell me you don't have it or you had a downtime. I'm just saying, or you have a down moment and now you want to take me to a low grade something.

SPEAKER_01: 40:38

People that's an unreal expectation.

SPEAKER_05: 40:40

But I'm just no, I'm just telling you how female would think. If you started off this way, that's the way that I would want you to continue. Because she's gonna judge you off of the fact that listen, I first met him and he took me here and he took me here. Now you want to downgrade it, and now you want to take me here and there because you're telling me you're going through hard times. She's not interested in that. She's not interested in that because how you came the first time is how she wants you all the time. Just keep a conversation, which most men don't know how to do nowadays. They don't know how to have a conversation to even get to know you. A man don't get to know you, a man don't is not interested. What he wants to know is do you have your own crib? Because I want to come and sit by you and I want to come and lay down, and you come and you open your door, and there it is. That's all that.

SPEAKER_01: 41:29

I think it goes both ways. I think that same woman wants to know if you how much you make in a year, what kind of car you drive. I don't want to I don't want to know. I'm not talking about you in general, but I think.

SPEAKER_05: 41:37

No, I'm just saying I wouldn't want to know what you're making and all of that on the first, but I would like to know that you have a job. Yes. That is that's part of a conversation. What is your occupation? You can ask me mine, I can ask you yours.

SPEAKER_01: 41:53

But I think the women now have a standard now. Like, oh, you work on the street. Well, you need to have a job. Yeah, you know, not the job is not the standard. They want six figures now.

unknown: 42:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 42:03

You understand? That's something tell you the world has changed. The world has changed, yes.

SPEAKER_05: 42:08

And and women's expectation is higher. Men's expectation is higher, and and that's just the world that we're living in.

SPEAKER_01: 42:15

Not really, though. I don't think men's expectations are higher. We don't have high expectations. I think the women's expectations are higher.

SPEAKER_03: 42:20

We don't have high expectations. You know, we don't even care. We care if she's working, but we don't care really what type of.

SPEAKER_05: 42:26

Well, you may not care because you're trying to bang her, but it's not her for your wife. You want to know you want to know where she's at financially. Can she meet you halfway? Let me tell you something. It always takes situations in life, and I'm gonna tell, I'm gonna say that very bluntly. When you meet a female and something happens in your life, right? You could have met somebody and something happened in your life. You always gonna know if a woman is really loves you or really cares about you or really will be a good woman for you if she supports you through all that you're going through. That means that means that woman is gonna be there for your down and she's gonna be there for your high. And I can be there when you're scraping up grass off the floor and when you're building this big house. And you always gonna know that. And if a woman hesitate or she gives you excuses, or she tells you she's not gonna be there for the greater when you're down, she's not gonna be there, sorry, when you're down. She only wants to be there for the high. Because she only likes what you bring to the table. She doesn't bring if you aren't able to keep that, she she's not interested.

SPEAKER_03: 43:29

Some of the times.

SPEAKER_05: 43:31

All of the time, Monty.

SPEAKER_03: 43:32

Not all the time. You don't gotta be on 100% for the woman they really care about you. You could be on 30 and she's still.

SPEAKER_05: 43:37

No, that's not saying you're always gonna know when a woman, that was what I said. Oh, sorry, you're always gonna know when a woman really cares about you, really going to love you or love you, depending on your situation. When something happens in your life, right, and she's still rocking with you and is willing to figure it out with you, and let's make it happen and let's do that. You know that that is a woman that is your ride or die. You know that's a woman that's gonna be with you no matter what. Not a woman waiting for you to build that mansion, waiting for you to have the car, waiting for you to have that. That's when she wants to rock with you. Then you know that she's only there for you for what you have. That's what it is. That's a fact.

SPEAKER_01: 44:20

But but not every man wants that.

SPEAKER_05: 44:22

Right. Not every man wants that.

SPEAKER_01: 44:23

That is absolutely some women would do all of that, and he'll take the help while he's down, and then when he gets up, he wants something else. He'll want something else.

SPEAKER_05: 44:32

Uh you know, and that's when women turn a little psychotic.

SPEAKER_01: 44:36

Of course, of course, of course. There's a movie about it, the Tyler Perry ward. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the Tyler Perry.

SPEAKER_05: 44:43

Because it's like you was with me, I was with you when you was down, and I held you down, and I'm there with you. And the minute you got up now, and you in a certain place, you going on to somebody else. She's gonna flip a screw.

SPEAKER_01: 44:54

But it goes both ways. Women do that to mention. Women do that too. And then the men flip a screw.

SPEAKER_05: 44:58

So it does go both ways.

SPEAKER_01: 45:00

Yeah, yeah. It all leads to trauma, emotional trauma.

SPEAKER_03: 45:03

It's a greasy. It's a greasy game out here, man. It's a greasy game, I think.

SPEAKER_01: 45:05

It's a greasy game, especially now these days.

SPEAKER_03: 45:08

You know, you know, it's like um sometime you damn if you do, damn it if you don't. Things can happen, things happen, man. But let's get back into expectations. Like, men, we don't we don't have high expectations when it comes to to women.

SPEAKER_00: 45:21

It depends to marry high expectations.

SPEAKER_03: 45:24

To marry, to marry?

SPEAKER_00: 45:26

I have very high expectations on board.

SPEAKER_01: 45:28

Marry somebody?

SPEAKER_03: 45:29

I think you should, Monty. I mean, I mean, no, I mean, no, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01: 45:33

I mean, if you when I talk about monetary, I'm not talking about monetary.

SPEAKER_03: 45:37

No, no. Do you see okay? Let's let's weigh this. When women say expectations, they're always talking about financial.

SPEAKER_01: 45:45

That's what from a woman's perspective.

SPEAKER_03: 45:47

Yeah, but men, expectations is is is Monty. I'm I'm talking about from how women think women anytime they come to work, expectations, it's money.

SPEAKER_05: 45:56

Monty.

SPEAKER_03: 45:58

What do you think, Still? Majority-wise independently. 70-30, 70-30-wise money. For men, expectations is the cook, clean, and boom, boom, bam. That's 70-30 for us. 60-40.

SPEAKER_01: 46:13

I could, I could, I I could agree. I could agree. I could agree. I could agree. I could see you itching the same.

SPEAKER_05: 46:24

I don't have anything. I don't have anything that I just say to marry somebody. If I'm if I'm gonna marry someone, it's it's not always about financial. To me, I'm only speaking to about me, women. I'm not speaking. The man has to have money, yes. Or able to make money, or able to provide, yes, but it's not gonna make a break. I'm looking at a man that's gonna hold me down no matter what, meaning that's gonna be there with me through the good and the bad. That's gonna make me want to have a husband. That's gonna make me because I know that on my down this day, this man held me down. He was loving to me, he cared for me. He can see me without my weave and he still loved me the same way. He can see me without and you can see me without makeup and you still love me the same way. You can get up in the morning and I didn't just run to the bathroom and brush my teeth and goggle and you still kiss me the same way. That's a man that I want by my side. When I'm sick, he's still carrying me to the bathroom, he still bathed me. He looks at all the intricate details about me, and he still loves me. That is a man that I would love and I would do anything for, and I would get up and I would do it. He says, Snap, I'm running, because you know what? He got me. So I'm always gonna have him. That's me.

SPEAKER_01: 47:39

You're fighting for something every other woman in the world is fighting for, and they're very limited.

SPEAKER_05: 47:43

It's limited. It is I would say it is limited, but if I if you find that, that is a man that you want to be your husband because that means he loves you just for who you are. You know, there are women. I went to school with a girl when I was in college, and this girl always came in a pretty girl, always came in makeup, flesh, all. And I used to be like, well, damn, she takes so much time. You know, it was so like makeup, bam, heels, all of this other stuff. Mind you, I'm coming to school in sweatpants and I'm coming in sneakers because you know, it's it's school. We in college, you know? And she did all of that. And one day we went to her house to study, and she literally had us outside for a minute because she had to put on a whole bang of makeup to open her door. You know, when you went went inside her door, I had no place to sit. You know? But here's a girl that's banged out, you know, all of this stuff all the way. With a mask. You know, so it's like you put on a mask. And if a man can love you without that mask, that is a man that you want. And and and a woman can say what they want, but that's a man that I would want. If I can take my wig off and I can rest it on the on the thing and he don't care, that's a man that I want.

SPEAKER_01: 48:56

Sherry, and what if he does that, but he has a mediocre job and he's struggling to get by?

SPEAKER_05: 49:00

We'll be okay. We will be okay.

SPEAKER_01: 49:03

I think it's different.

SPEAKER_05: 49:05

I'm gonna ride with him. It doesn't matter. If he, if he, if I have$100 and he got$20, we got$125 and we're gonna figure it out.

SPEAKER_03: 49:14

Because I think what you're saying, Sherry, when you're saying, when you're saying you want to marry money, I just knowing who you are, to how how how I got gained to know you. No, no, no. What I'm saying is that you're not talking about the guy gotta be super rich. You just like he gotta have something.

SPEAKER_05: 49:25

He gotta have something because we both gotta make it out here.

SPEAKER_03: 49:29

Right, right.

SPEAKER_05: 49:30

That's all I'm saying. I'm not I'm not saying anything. I I want a man that's gonna be a man and he's gonna lead, because my man has to lead the household. That's just how it is. Okay. That's how it is.

SPEAKER_01: 49:41

What if he has that and he has money, but he's not so easy on the eyes? Would are you willing to look past that also? There's there's many different things that come with it.

SPEAKER_05: 49:48

So I'm I'm gonna be real. Yeah. I'm gonna be very honest. There's a lot of men that has liked me, and they were not easy on the eyes. They were well off and they were good, and I did not give them a chance.

SPEAKER_01: 50:00

Do you do you would you still do the same thing now?

SPEAKER_05: 50:02

Did you would I do the same thing?

SPEAKER_01: 50:05

Yeah, a man that um is well off.

SPEAKER_05: 50:08

I have to be attracted to you. So if I'm not attracted to you, no.

SPEAKER_01: 50:13

So you're willing to let that guy, that that, that dream guy you're talking about. No, you're willing to let that guy. You're not the guy's guy. The guy who's running for you, the guy is that's gonna do all of that.

SPEAKER_05: 50:22

But I'm saying you can find that same thing. But doesn't love you? No, we didn't talk about the you said if a man is not easier, and I said I have to be attracted to you. So the man that I'm attracted to can still be the loving man that's doing all of those stuff.

SPEAKER_01: 50:36

Uh I think they tend not to.

SPEAKER_05: 50:38

Yes, they do. Because I yes, they do, because I I can say that. I can speak and say, yes, there are men that can love you and be there for you and be supportive and love you with all of those things that that have and is very handsome as well.

SPEAKER_01: 50:54

Man, do you think uh who you think will love you better, man? Question for man. Ugly woman or attractive woman? Who you think would love you more?

SPEAKER_03: 51:02

Who love me more?

SPEAKER_01: 51:03

Yeah. In general, who would love you harder? An attractive woman or ugly woman? It's a scientific fact that ugly women love.

SPEAKER_03: 51:12

I'll tell you, I'll tell you this. I tell you this. They'll probably love me the same, but the but uh but an unattractive woman would would do more. That's my point. But you know what the game is. You know what? Wait, say the seven minutes. Say the pretty girl would do seven things in a day. No, no, no, no, no. You know what? Farrest, you're saying that um who would do more? Ugly woman or um I say I say like this, right? They'll love me the same, but I think the the unattractive woman would do 25 things in that one day, and uh attractive woman would probably do seven things.

SPEAKER_05: 51:48

Then I don't think that you know about love.

SPEAKER_01: 51:52

What him knowing about love has to do with it?

SPEAKER_05: 51:54

Because if when a woman loves a man, there's nothing that she wouldn't do for her do for her man. So don't tell me that's what I think. No, that's not true.

SPEAKER_01: 52:01

So women have standards.

SPEAKER_05: 52:03

No, I'm saying I'm I'm speaking about me. I think I'm an attractive woman. I think I'm a very attractive woman. I think I can hold a couple of eyes well.

SPEAKER_02: 52:11

Yes.

SPEAKER_05: 52:12

And if I love you, there ain't nothing that I wouldn't do for you. Nothing. There's not there is nothing. Okay, I'm gonna ask you a question. He gets sick.

SPEAKER_03: 52:19

If he gets sick, you're gonna clean his ass.

SPEAKER_05: 52:20

That's you damn right.

SPEAKER_03: 52:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_05: 52:23

There's nothing I wouldn't do for you because I love you, because I see past that. If I love you, there's nothing that wouldn't go. If I have to clean up after you, if I have to clean your vomit, I gotta wipe your ass, I gotta feed you, I gotta do it, I'm gonna scrape it. If I gotta get up and then stroke you, because that's what's gonna make you happy. I'm gonna do that because I love you.

SPEAKER_01: 52:41

I understand, but that's you. That's just you.

SPEAKER_05: 52:43

But then you so then we can't, there are women that like that, that's that's out there like me. You cannot say because there's a lot of attractive women that when they find love or there's somebody that got to them to that level. Sterling. I don't know. I just don't think there's a lot more.

SPEAKER_01: 52:58

I think.

SPEAKER_05: 53:00

There's not a lot of women out there. I'm just saying when a woman loves a man, that's what I'm talking about. I'm not I'm just saying when a woman loves a man or a man got into a woman to the point where when she sees that man, her eyes lit up. So there's nothing that I wouldn't do for you. There's nothing. There's something about you that will make me go hard for you, regardless. Okay, I think this is- I'm gonna argue for him, I will fight for him, I'm gonna do what I gotta do because I love this man.

SPEAKER_01: 53:26

This is where we're where we're not getting it right now. You said you see love. I don't think women nowadays see love. That's my point.

SPEAKER_05: 53:34

Well, what is the man doing that's that's not making them see love?

SPEAKER_01: 53:37

I mean, that that's a whole other part of it.

SPEAKER_05: 53:39

Okay, then because you gotta make a woman see love for her to get her to that level.

SPEAKER_01: 53:44

So when we think about it, some women are raised not to see love. You understand? That's a whole other subject.

SPEAKER_05: 53:50

That's a whole other subject. But if if you do find love out there, I feel like you can't love somebody whether he's doesn't, whether he's not financially equipped or whatever the case may be, because no one can tell you what. And I don't like when people tell you on the outside what to do in your relationship and what because when you close the door, they're doing that shit. So don't tell me what to do. Oh don't tell me not to love him or not to feed him or not to be with him or leave him because he's cheating. Don't tell me what to do because when the door's closed, you don't cried four times and you saying, Oh, but baby, I love you. So don't tell me not to.

SPEAKER_01: 54:26

Oh, yeah, you'll be a fool to take marital advice from people. Don't take advice from nobody relationship.

SPEAKER_05: 54:30

Figure out your stuff for yourself. Close your door and figure it out. Talk to yourself, talk to God, talk to whoever you gotta talk to, but don't listen to your friends, don't listen to anybody because behind closed doors, they're doing the opposite of what they're telling you. Some people love to see your downfall, and people love to tell you don't love him, he broke, don't love him, he's cheating on you, don't love him is this and that. But when he touch you, she doesn't, he doesn't make you feel, he makes you feel a certain way. So do what you gotta do because that's what makes you happy.

SPEAKER_01: 55:01

I concur with that. Me too with that statement. You understand?

SPEAKER_05: 55:04

Don't do that.

SPEAKER_04: 55:04

That is I I agree. I agree, I agree, you know.

SPEAKER_01: 55:07

And I also think people in relationships should only carry themselves around other people in relationships. Like married people, I believe, should hang out with other married people. I don't believe married people can hang out with single people.

SPEAKER_05: 55:20

I don't I don't think so because as a couple. No, I well maybe as a couple, but what I think, because I'm I'm single and I would love to be around married people because I know that's that's the that's where I want to be.

SPEAKER_01: 55:30

Me saying that didn't consider you single. Well, I'm just saying I I wanna be.

SPEAKER_05: 55:34

So I'm leading by watching how people are in relationships and sometimes taking a step back and say, why isn't things working out in the direction that I wanted to work out? So I love to look at other married couples, especially married couples within my peers, because that inspired me to learn some things to put me in a direction to be in that one-on-one relationship, married couple. So some of us that are single, that are not married, you could be in a relationship, but once you're not married, you are considered single. One to look and see, well, I would love to be in that place sometimes. So you can hang out and learn. It could be a learning. Wasn't a shot against you. No, no, no. I'm not taking it as a shot. I'm just saying that, just saying that some single women, it's a good thing. I would love to hang around other married couples because it's showing me that this is where I want to be and I can learn some things because I don't know it all. Yeah, I don't know it all.

SPEAKER_03: 56:29

But I was thinking Sterling was was was from the perspective, I thought Sterling was talking about like his wife hanging out with single girls or like my fiance hanging out with single girls. That's what I thought it was.

SPEAKER_05: 56:40

But well, no, but I'm I mean, I'm single and I'm single and I can hang out with his wife. I know his wife. But the thing about being single, because I'ma just say that my best friend is married. My BFF is married. I respect her husband very much so. You know what I'm saying? And I'm a single girl. But at the same time, when I walk around, I walk and I respect her marriage. I respect the fact that this girl is a married woman. So if I if if I call her and I say, let's go someplace, I always tell her, and she could concur, girl, check and make sure that it's okay with your husband. Make sure that that is all right, that where we're going, and that he's good with that. Because at the end of the day, I respect the friendship of my friend. You know, at the same fact that my friend respects my relationship that I'm in. So she's not gonna come and say, girl, I want you to go here because my friend, my husband, friend is single and I think that you need to be here. She would never put me in that situation because she respects the person that I'm with. So, you know, it it's a matter of respect. Question. But we can hang.

SPEAKER_03: 57:49

Question, question. Sterling, how would you feel about knowing that somebody's in a relationship and you seeing them going crazy? Would you would you be an informer? Would you, how would you, how would you look at them?

SPEAKER_01: 57:59

In other words, the scenario if I got a homeboy and I know his wife and I see his wife out there doing dirt. Yeah. Basically, would I go back to my homeboy and tell him?

SPEAKER_05: 58:07

Yes, he wouldn't.

SPEAKER_01: 58:08

Never. I would never do that. That has dire consequences. It could end up messing up with the city. She's still gonna be with you. Because he might not be ready to hear it. Oh, you mean you wouldn't tell him? I would not tell him. It's not my business to tell him.

SPEAKER_03: 58:21

Still, so look. So, so if if you see my fiance bugging, or if I let me tell you something. I'm gonna tell you something. We I had I was I was talking to um be before actually. I was I'm I'm telling you, listen, me personally, I'm not trying to. I'm telling. I'm telling straight up. But one time, it one time something like that did happen, and I had told Lim, I told, but it wasn't Lim, it was uh one of our homeboys, right? And I said, yo, I said, I'ma tell him, I'ma tell him. Lim say, yo, Mike, don't say nothing.

SPEAKER_01: 58:51

I I believe in that. Don't say nothing. You may know already, and he might be more embarrassed that you find out now.

SPEAKER_03: 58:56

Yeah, but nah, I wouldn't, I would.

SPEAKER_05: 59:02

Weby else, because one, they don't necessarily sometimes they don't believe that that is really happening. And then it comes as a conflict as to so why he telling you what's his story, or you know, they flip the scenario about about the situation, and then your friendship is now jeopardized because you feel as though, you know, you know, yeah, but then what you know it's it's it's a tricky interesting.

SPEAKER_03: 59:27

Suppose it's a big argument come up and they be like, Oh, yeah, well, the girl says, Well, Sterling saw me with him before, and that was a couple months ago. Oh, word, Sterling saw and didn't tell me.

SPEAKER_01: 59:40

And I'd be like, Yeah, I saw it. I didn't feel it was my business. Oh, sheesh.

SPEAKER_05: 59:47

I feel like I feel like there's other ways to tell you, there's other ways to let your your best friend or whoever knows that this stuff is going wrong in the relationship instead of going you know forward and just. In saying that.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:00

And I think it depends on who the person is and how close they are to you, also.

SPEAKER_03: 1:00:04

So let me ask you a question. What about if you know let me tell you, this is exactly what happened to me. This has happened to me years, a couple years, a couple years back, like 10 years ago. One of my homeboys, we used to go down, it's gonna be funny that he's gonna see this. We went down to Philly, we used to go to Philly and um party out there. And one of my boys, he started dealing with a chick. Right? There's a whole group of them, but he started dealing with a chick. He started liking the chick a lot. However, however. And then I went back out there with my other homeboys, my brother and and um a DJ, a famous DJ. But we all wind up knowing each other, but me, we all, me and this side of the crew, we didn't hang out, all of us together. So I was just made for crew to crew. So then now, but I know homeboy one was born for a while.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:49

So now your other homeboy is the only one.

SPEAKER_03: 1:00:51

No, it's then now my homeboy number two, he winds up born enough. Yeah, but I didn't really know. He called me. He says, Yo, my. I hate that. And then he says, Don't tell him. He told me, don't tell number one.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:06

I don't understand why he put you into that.

SPEAKER_03: 1:01:07

So I say, yo, listen, this is how it's gonna go. This is this is how it's gonna go. Listen, you got you got two options here, right? I'm gonna tell you how it's gonna work. You got two options. Either you, because they got each other's number. Either you gonna go tell them, or I'm gonna tell them. So I'm gonna inform her, hey. So they look, so they look. So look. I say yo, I say, yo, you got 30 minutes, bro. You got because it's a why is it's it's brows over hoes? Why you why what what is this? Why is she more important to why is she more important than uh than us? And you know, but the thing about is he knows my um homemade number one, he knows he's out there. He's getting he's getting with a lot of chicks, and uh homebrew number two is getting with a plethora of chicks. So why is it that? Oh, don't tell. What are we doing here? But why do why would you feel that he should tell? Why is he telling me that?

SPEAKER_05: 1:01:57

Why is it your obligation to tell?

SPEAKER_03: 1:01:59

Yo, listen to me. Why do you feel obligated to tell you? Call me Splinter. I'm a rat. Call me Splinter.

SPEAKER_05: 1:02:04

I feel like I no, I just feel like in relationship it's just tricky because I've been in a situation where you know, you tell somebody, you tell a girl, like, listen, you know what, your man is blah blah blah blah blah, and the girl just like straight flip on you and then feel as though, like, you know what, you, you the one, you come in between them and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Me saying, listen, find out your things on your own, deal with your things however you just deal. We're all grown, we're all grown adults. Deal with it however you decide to do it. What I am gonna do is be the friend to support you along your journey, whichever way you want to go. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm just keeping it. It's happened to me when I was younger, it happened to me when I was younger, where you tell because you feel like yo, I'm just this good friend, and I'm telling this person, and you know what a person did? They flip the scenario.

SPEAKER_01: 1:02:54

And then so you're happy to tell me that.

SPEAKER_00: 1:02:55

You wanna tell me that you're gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_05: 1:02:58

And she always did it. No, sir, no, sir. Deal with your stuff, yeah, figure out whatever you want to figure out. Do what I do. Close your door, cry to yourself, cry to your pillow, figure it out. Whatever's going on in your household, I always say in relationship, figure it out for yourself. Deal with it yourself. I've learned that the mature part of me, the mature part of me now, the older part of me, whatever I'm going on in whatever relationship that I'm in, I'm gonna deal with it and figure it out for myself. I don't need advice from anybody. I don't need to figure it out from anybody. I don't need anything. If I call you because I want to vent, or I figure out. But I've learned a closed mouth, keep it wide. Don't talk about your relationship. I'll figure it out. I'll talk to my pillow. The pillow can't answer me. That's all right. I'm good. That means I'm not crazy. I'm just talking. You know, because it becomes too much, Monty. It becomes too much. People get all involved, they go say Monty said, and Monty said it now, it just becomes like a whole controversy. We don't it could spiral out of control.

SPEAKER_03: 1:03:59

Let me tell you where I won't tell. Like, say, like, you're my homegirl, you're my homeboy. Now say you introduce me to your man, and if I'm out and about and I and I see him doing his thing, I wouldn't tell you. Never. But now if I see if if it's like Sterling and his his his significant other, we're not gonna even say his wife, you'll say like back in the day, his girl or something. I'm telling him. I'm telling him, I wouldn't, I would want him to tell me. I would want him to tell me.

SPEAKER_05: 1:04:22

Let me tell you, I know Sterling. I'm I know Sterling's wife very well. And if I see Sterling doing something, I am eating, I I love you. I love his wife. Ain't no problem. I'm eating my chicken bowl and I'm minding my business.

SPEAKER_03: 1:04:38

Yes, yeah, okay. Vice versa. What about if you see his wife? Would you tell Sterling?

SPEAKER_05: 1:04:42

I just I just finished it. I know, I just said it. Building bowl on this cast. I know his wife. I love her very much. We get down good. There's not a bad bone in anything. If I see Sterling doing something that is inappropriate, I am eating my chicken bone and I'm minding my bone. But Monty's the opposite. What if you see my wife?

SPEAKER_00: 1:05:02

What if you see my wife? What if you see my wife doing it?

SPEAKER_05: 1:05:06

I hear you are saying it's a greasy day, but I'm gonna see my cousin and I love him and I'm saying I'm eating my chicken bone and I'm minding my. Let me tell you something, Monty. Let me tell you something. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_03: 1:05:18

I'm not saying you're greasy.

SPEAKER_05: 1:05:19

No, but that's not that's not being greasy. I don't know your fiance like that or whatever, but I'm minding my business. If I see you, I'm minding my business because you know at the end of the day, at the end of the hour, whatever happens, you two gotta figure it out. You're gonna turn around and say, Sherry Ann said, and Sherry Ann, Sherry Baby, you know that girl, Sherry Babby. Yeah, she came in there. You know the no, because when y'all make up, you know what you're gonna remember? The fact that I'm the one that came and said something. I don't got time for that. I'm minding my business. What I would do as my cousin, I will pull him to the side as my cousin, and I would say, Listen, you know, I seen you doing something. I don't think you should. That's what I would say. If I see his wife, I would say, girl, I don't like what I'm seeing. I don't think that that's cool, but girl, you gotta figure that out. That's what I would do.

SPEAKER_01: 1:06:17

But I'm not coming back and you know what I think she might do to it, even if she seen my wife, she wouldn't tell me, but she'll throw me a hint. Like you, you know, you maybe you need to keep your eyes open a little more. Maybe you need to go to that wall. I think that's what she'll do, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 1:06:29

Listen, I think the comments for this topic right here is gonna go crazy. Because I believe if this is a a close homeboy of mine, and if I see his significant other out there going crazy, and should you tell him? No. I say yes. I don't care, but I don't care. I don't care what the I don't care what the outcome is.

SPEAKER_01: 1:06:55

It's just as dangerous as yeah, you ever outside and you see a man and a woman arguing to get physical? Would you intercede in that? That's it's just a dangerous situation. You might think you're doing the right thing, and next thing you know, they they both flip on you. It could you could even end up getting hurt.

SPEAKER_05: 1:07:10

I'm just saying, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not saying that your friend don't have the right to know. I'm not saying that. But what I am gonna say is that I'm not gonna get involved in people's relationship. You don't know what's going on. I'm not getting involved in that. It's happened to me, and I'm just not doing that. I don't want nobody in my relationship. Don't nobody come. Sherry Barry is saying it on, don't nobody come and tell me shice about my relationship. If you see him, if you know him, and you see, don't tell me because I'm telling you, I'm gonna come back. I'm the type of girl, I'm gonna say this person told me. That's how I'm bringing it to you.

SPEAKER_03: 1:07:43

No, man. She threw you under the box. Hey, don't tell Sherry, y'all. Don't tell Sherry Barry. She let you know what she let you know.

SPEAKER_05: 1:07:50

I'm letting you know straightforward. But I'm saying, so-and-so said they saw so and da-da-da. That's how I'm gonna say it. I'm not gonna come and tell him, well, you know what? The man on the corner on the road said, This, I'm not doing that. We're not kids. So just don't tell me nothing, and I can deal with that. I'm good. Because you know what? What they what your what your mother said or what your father said, don't go looking for nothing. Because when you go looking, when you find, you may not be able to handle it. Don't don't I don't want to look. I don't want to look. I don't want to look.

SPEAKER_01: 1:08:24

One more subject before we go. Speaking on that, piggybanking on that. You're in the house with your significant other wife, boyfriend, cell phone is there in the room, their cell phone is there, they're in the completely in another room. Would you look into their cell phone?

SPEAKER_05: 1:08:42

I'm not looking.

SPEAKER_03: 1:08:43

No, I don't, I don't do that.

SPEAKER_05: 1:08:44

I'm not looking.

SPEAKER_03: 1:08:45

I'll leave my phone out.

SPEAKER_05: 1:08:46

If you look, I'll probably turn a size zero. I'm not looking because I'm I'm a I'm a jealous female. Elaborate why?

SPEAKER_03: 1:08:54

Elaborate why you wouldn't look.

SPEAKER_05: 1:08:55

I'm a jealous female to a certain extent. And it could be, like we said, text can be misconstrued. A lot of things can be misconstrued. I'm not looking. I'm gonna now dictate. Well, why you call you call Joanne at Pandora's time? Now, why did you call back Joanne at this time? Now I'm trying to figure out I'm an overthinker. So I'm not gonna sit here and try to bust my brain and try to figure out everything that's going on in the phone and create, and it could be nothing, but then my brain cell already went over went through. So you know what? What I don't know is not gonna hurt me. And I just I just go by that. Keep me in the keep me in lullaby land, keep me, keep me in lullaby land. Because that's gonna keep me loving you. Because I'm telling you, the minute I start to know the love is just gonna start going flip, flip, flop. I'm not, it's not gonna be the same.

SPEAKER_01: 1:09:46

Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_05: 1:09:46

So keep me happy.

SPEAKER_01: 1:09:47

Okay, okay, okay, I hear that.

SPEAKER_05: 1:09:49

Sherry Ann, keep me happy.

SPEAKER_01: 1:09:50

What about you, Mike?

SPEAKER_03: 1:09:52

I mean, no, I don't go through phones.

SPEAKER_01: 1:09:54

I'm not saying you did it before. Would you do it?

SPEAKER_03: 1:09:56

No, I would never do it.

SPEAKER_01: 1:09:58

You would never?

SPEAKER_03: 1:09:59

No, I wouldn't do it. If it's time for me to go through your phone, it's time for me to cut you off. That's how I live. If if if I don't trust you, it's like that's it.

SPEAKER_05: 1:10:07

And trust is a big it trust is a big thing, Sterl. Trust is a big thing. And I I and I'm just gonna I'm I'm gonna end it on this, like in relationships, when you go through and you go through all this stuff. If you decide, if you did it and you did it, but if you decide to mend and you decide to be, just learn to learn to trust your partner and go with the flow. And if your gut feeling is telling you that this is not the one, walk away. Yeah, because it's just gonna create a lot of drama and unnecessary stress. Stress kills people. Stress kills. And we're not gonna sit here and stress and figure out what she is and what she's not doing or what he's doing and what he's not doing. I want to love the person that I'm with, and when I'm with him, I don't I don't want to think about another female was with him. I really don't.

SPEAKER_01: 1:10:50

I love my wife, but if that phone there, I go and chew it. You can ask me, you can open up my phone in front of me.

SPEAKER_05: 1:10:59

Yeah, if you could. Curiosity. Yeah, I did it. You can open up your phone, yes. You can ask me to open up the phone, you could do it.

SPEAKER_01: 1:11:04

No, I'm looking at it when you're not here. I'm not asking you to open nothing. If it's there, that I could go through. I'm gonna look through it. That's me. That's that's me. I come I come from a jealous background. The men of the men in my family have always been jealous. My father's like that. It's like I think it's something instilled me that I can't help. I'm I'm gonna look through that phone.

SPEAKER_03: 1:11:23

See, the thing about it is I'm I'm I I could get brutal, not physically brutal. Like back in the day, if I thought somebody was cheating on me, which I did think, sorry, I couldn't prove it. I would in my mind, I would check myself, I'd say for every one guy she was sleeping with, I'm gonna sleep 15 to 20. That's what I used to do. And then just for having that little gray area where you could, or or or you're not answering me, giving me this answer, like you're younger, like, yo, where were you? No, I was there then. You're not answering me properly, you know what I mean? You know, you I know where you was at, but like just be honest. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_05: 1:11:59

I I would say to women, or over weekend on that, when if a man wants to go through your phone, I've been in a situation where I fought it and I was like, no, da-da-da, and it caused conflict and also looking, there's things that the men want. If you love your man and you really care about your relationship, then your my phone is an open book. He can go through my phone at any given time. I can rest my phone down, he can answer my phone. Anybody that answers that phone, he should not have a problem with just saying hello and being it because it's it's supposed to be platonic and he shouldn't have an issue with anything. Especially if you had conflict regarding your phone before and you know how he feels about something. If you continue that pattern, then you gotta let her go. So I feel like, you know, just you can go through my phone, you can look through my text, you can do that because there's nothing going on in that phone that should make you think otherwise. Yeah. And if you have to hesitate at this stage in your game, at this point, woman, then then you're not really wanting to be in a relationship or you really don't want. And I'm only speaking from a point of if your phone gave you problems before, and that person is speaking to you or talking to you or trying to work things out with you, or whatever your situation may be, don't hesitate for him and say, like, hey, I want to see your phone, give him your phone. If you don't got nothing going on, give him your phone. What's the big deal? Yeah, because what's the big deal?

SPEAKER_01: 1:13:20

Let me let me tell y'all something that's for the people out there. For me, I love my wife to that to know, but to me, there's no such thing as 100% trust that doesn't live in my yeah, it doesn't live in my world. 100% trust only sets you up for failure. For failure. You understand? So there's no there's no 100% trust. I don't trust you 100%. I'm going if you leave your phone, there's a situation. This is a situation. I'm not gonna scheme, but if you happen to leave your phone there in the phone, there ain't a room on the phone, I picking up the phone and I opened in that phone and I'm looking. That's if you have a password, I don't know. I'll I'll make I'll figure out try to figure out a few things. Yeah, but I'm gonna look. I'm not gonna sit here and say, no, I'm not gonna look.

SPEAKER_03: 1:14:01

No, I'm gonna look. Me personally, I tell you this, people. If if you as a woman you allow your man to like go through your phone like you right there, I don't care. Hey, go ahead, go through my phone. Or or or vice versa, when they've like right there. Not like what you're talking about, still and like picking it up or whatever. But if they if they put you on the spot for you to that's not good.

SPEAKER_01: 1:14:20

Somebody put you on the spot.

SPEAKER_03: 1:14:21

That relationship is over.

SPEAKER_01: 1:14:22

Yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right.

SPEAKER_03: 1:14:23

That relationship is over. We're not talking about a casual, like, yo, boom, let me see, nobody's around. But if they making you do that in front of them, and especially if you ain't doing nothing, that relationship is done. You don't waste your time, it's over. No growth. You can't grow, yeah. It's gonna be over within months or a year or two because look where y'all at right now. Well, look where you're at.

SPEAKER_01: 1:14:41

That's a deep lack of trust.

SPEAKER_05: 1:14:42

But you but you know what? I have to disagree because sometimes I just feel like when you when you're going through stuff in a relationship, remember, relationships you're getting to know people, right? You're getting to know stuff. Just because he went through your phone doesn't mean that the relationship is done or or or he's asking to go through your phone or whatever the case may be. You're getting to know the your partner. Your partner is getting to know. I feel my just my opinion, okay. I feel like if it's a continuous pattern, if he's constantly like looking through your phone or whatever, that's done. Because he doesn't have no he doesn't have any kind of trust. I would not, I would not say because he went through your phone or whatever, or you know, whatever the situation may, that relationship is on the verge of being done or being done or whatever. He might have his reasoning in his mind as to why he wants to look through your phone and he went through now. If he constantly, every time, bust your phone open, or then that relationship is done. Because now you're walking on Edge Stone every minute, every two seconds. Every two seconds you gotta open your phone for your man to see that relationship is done. And I'm only speaking on that saying that men go through stuff, women go through stuff. But if he asked me to open my phone and you especially because y'all went through a situation like that, open your phone. What's the big deal?

SPEAKER_03: 1:15:57

Well, that's different then. What's the big deal?

SPEAKER_05: 1:15:59

If you went through a situation and you went through, I'm saying if you went through a situation and he opened your phone and y'all think I wouldn't say that your relationship is done because he went through your phone and y'all went through some stuff. You're in a relationship and you're getting to know. I don't know you. If I was dating you, Sterl, I don't know you.

SPEAKER_01: 1:16:14

Yeah, but if y'all just come and say, yo, open your phone. I feel that's intrusive. I know what you mean.

SPEAKER_05: 1:16:19

No, not just like that. What I'm saying is that me and you dated, I don't know everything about you.

SPEAKER_03: 1:16:24

So how you gonna know how you know about going through the person's phone? Going through the phone.

SPEAKER_05: 1:16:28

I think I'm saying it wrong. I'm saying we're dating and we're in a relationship and we're going through, I don't, I'm just using the saying, like, I don't know everything about him. So I don't know this is gonna tick him off. And I'm just speaking from experience. So I'm a person that has a lot of friends, male friends, you know, women friends. I have a lot of friends, and I'm meeting somebody, and I don't know that that thing is gonna tick him off, or that's gonna, you know, get, you know, get him upset or whatever the case may be. And if he goes through my phone and he sees all of those stuff and he doesn't like it, I don't think that the relationship is done. I think it's it's like a it's like a wake-up call for me. He does not like it, he does not want this, or he doesn't want that. So you have to think to yourself, what changes would you make, if any, not saying that you have to make and are you willing to make these changes? You are willing. That's the that's that's my thing. So if he asks you again or randomly go through your phone if after you spoke about that and he sees that, then now we'll say your relationship is done because he spoke to you about it or whatever you want to do. It's it's it's a ride. That's what I meant, if if I'm explaining it correctly. That's what I meant about.

SPEAKER_03: 1:17:31

If it's six months in and I gotta go through your phone and you I don't know you by then, I'm cutting you off. I mean, Marty, you too damn rush.

SPEAKER_05: 1:17:39

No, you just you know. You the grip reaper. What are you doing with that?

SPEAKER_04: 1:17:44

He's a relationship killer.

SPEAKER_05: 1:17:46

You you listen.

SPEAKER_03: 1:17:48

What is that? Another person's trash is another person's treasure. I'm out of here.

SPEAKER_05: 1:17:52

Another pet, yeah. You I mean, that's your choice, but I'm saying you gonna, you, you, you leaving a lot of, you're going into another lot of treasures. I'm just saying to you, you have to.

SPEAKER_01: 1:18:01

And you know, that's a defense mechanism. You're just trying to save yourself.

SPEAKER_05: 1:18:03

Yeah, you just you have to be able to. If if I don't know you walking in every day and I don't know that you like the shoes or you like this, after a while, I got to know that you don't like me putting the shoes here or this and that. If I don't change it, that's what I'm trying to say, Monty. You cannot just you talk about it first. Yeah, you you know what I'm saying? You have to be able to put it on the table. I don't like this. If if I know for a fact that you spoke to me about it and you don't like it, and I continue, then I would say.

SPEAKER_00: 1:18:34

She said you gotta have that conversation first and then she'd have a conversation because how can I do that? But then if she does it, then you should be up.

SPEAKER_05: 1:18:38

But if it doesn't, if I've been if I've been single for a while and now I'm dating and I've been doing this for a minute and I didn't know that that bothered anybody, or I've dated other people because I've dated other people that never had an issue about those things, and now you're dating somebody else that seems to have an issue about that. I didn't know that. So now that you put it on the table, it's up to me now to make the changes. That's all I'm saying. And if I don't make the changes, then it's a rap.

SPEAKER_01: 1:19:04

I understood that.

SPEAKER_05: 1:19:05

That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_03: 1:19:07

I hear you.

SPEAKER_05: 1:19:08

You are you rough boy.

SPEAKER_03: 1:19:10

I hear you, man. But listen, I'm telling you, man.

SPEAKER_05: 1:19:13

Great topics though. Yeah, man. You know, this is been good.

SPEAKER_03: 1:19:17

It's good. We could we could keep going on this one, but yeah, we're gonna let this one breathe. It's a hard editing. Yeah, we're gonna let this one breathe. We're gonna let this breathe, man. And you know, it was um this was a good, good one, good one. Good to be back, man.

SPEAKER_02: 1:19:30

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 1:19:31

Felt like we never left. You know what I'm saying? Back, put the gloves on, the ding ding, the ring, and then boom, we right at it. We right at it, man.

SPEAKER_01: 1:19:38

Yeah, yeah. But to all all the people that support us, let it be known. We're back, bigger and better than ever. We're gonna come on a regular basis. Right. You understand? With with with what with all the views, all the topics, everything you want to hear. You heard?

SPEAKER_03: 1:19:53

Yeah, and give us some, give us some. Give us some topics.

SPEAKER_05: 1:19:56

You know, when you get on and you hear it and you like it, give us some topics. Right. Um, I'm saying, you know, we're ending and and until the next, but the next one that I do want to talk about, I want a lot of ladies, you know, when you hear this, um, this one, I want you guys to log on to the next one because I do want to hit Monty on breast cancer awareness month. Well, which is big. It's a big thing, and um, I'm gonna get personal into it. And I want, you know, a lot of listeners, you know, to to come on, hear my story, hear my journey, hear my, you know, hear what I'm going and where I'm coming from it. And you know, let's let's go places with this. We have a lot to talk about more than cheating men and cheating women. We have a lot going on, and we would love people to, you know, open up to us. And and thank you, Monty, for giving the opportunity to have this. I thank y'all.

SPEAKER_03: 1:20:43

I thank y'all, man. Y'all are um y'all driving me to keep going, man. Because you know, we took a break and I'm like, yeah, still like, yo, let's go, let's go.

SPEAKER_05: 1:20:51

All right, all right, all right. And thanks to people that stopped me and asked me, like, when are we coming back on and things like that? So I hope that you know you guys will listen and share it to other people. Yeah, and you know, we love I love juicy topics and I love keeping it real. So right, right, right, right, right.

SPEAKER_03: 1:21:09

We need people to share, yeah, comment and like, man. Share, comment, and like, share, comment, and like. We gotta um share and we gotta, you know. And if you want to be a guest, you know, hit somebody up, hit one of us up, and then you know, and then we all we'll we'll we'll try to accommodate.

SPEAKER_00: 1:21:27

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 1:21:27

But yes, yes. This is the your opinion doesn't matter podcast. Do we do a closing statement still? Nah, I think that's enough. This is the your opinion doesn't matter podcast. And we're we are Audi. Peace, peace, peace.