Your Opinion Doesn’t Matter Podcast

Friends, Mortality, and Figuring It All Out

YODM Season 9 Episode 92

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Two old friends reconnect after the New Year, diving into the complex realities of midlife with refreshing honesty and occasional humor. Black Jesus and Mr. Lamont navigate topics that many avoid but everyone eventually confronts—mortality, purposeful living, and the physical realities of aging.

When Lamont shares his frustration with others' defeatist attitudes about mortality, it sparks a thoughtful exchange about different approaches to life's inevitable conclusion. Rather than dwelling on what can't be controlled, Lamont focuses on building something meaningful that will outlast him. Black Jesus counters with practical wisdom about preparing for the future while still embracing the present.

The conversation shifts to relationships as Lamont discusses his upcoming wedding and experience with couples counseling. Drawing from 13 years of marriage, Black Jesus offers invaluable insights about the transformation that occurs after saying "I do"—describing it as crossing "over to a more spiritual realm" where independence gives way to true partnership. His revelation that finances—not infidelity—represent the leading cause of divorce provides a sobering reminder of marriage's practical dimensions.

Perhaps most compelling is their candid discussion about alcohol. Lamont shares his three years of sobriety, calculating how drinking robbed him of productivity and memories. Black Jesus admits to still enjoying occasional drinks while acknowledging the increasingly difficult recoveries that come with age. Their unfiltered conversation about "liquor shits" and forgotten nights demonstrates the uncomfortable physical realities of heavy drinking that often go undiscussed.

The episode concludes with powerful words about taking chances: "You can't lose if you don't try" and "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Join these authentic voices as they navigate life's complexities with wisdom earned through decades of friendship and experience.

Speaker 1:

Welcome. Welcome to the your Opinion Doesn't Matter podcast. I am one of the hosts, mr Lamont, and I'm here with a good friend of mine, co-host Black Jesus. How are you doing, bro?

Speaker 2:

I'm good. I'm good man. How are you?

Speaker 1:

I'm good man, I'm good, I'm maintaining man, Maintaining man.

Speaker 2:

No doubt. No doubt, it's been a little while. It's always good to be in the presence of greatness.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, man, Feelings mutual bro, Feelings mutual man. So the new year started. This is our first recording together for the new year.

Speaker 2:

No doubt, Happy New Year B.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, happy New Year, man. How's things been going for you, man?

Speaker 2:

New year. It's a new year and it brings the good and the bad. There's a lot of positive things, there's a lot of uncertainty. There's a lot of things we can't control. You know what I'm saying, but I guess that's just how it goes, you know.

Speaker 1:

That's a fact. That's a fact. We can't fight certain things, but we can just try to grow and be happy.

Speaker 2:

Try to grow and be happy man.

Speaker 1:

So you know, I've been feeling in a rut, shall I say. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1:

I've been through different situations yeah different situations To be like and hearing certain people say certain things to you um, brings your morale down. Like my um, my uncle-in-law. He was complaining to my fiance about his brother being sick, so forth and so on, and then he found out he was okay. Everybody was like, oh they, they blew it out proportion. But then he says to me you know, you know, he's older, he's older than me a couple years, older than a couple years. Then he's like you know, we um, you know we're not gonna live forever. You know we all gotta go. But I'm like to myself, I'm like why you gotta talk like that, bro, to myself? I'm like why you gotta if, if you know what you know, what's the the purpose of telling other people that? And don't you think everybody know that Nobody's immortal, you understand?

Speaker 2:

I hear you, but you know, unfortunately, when you hit the ripe age of like 50, like us, whether you try to think about it or not, your mortality comes into question. And some people they try to think about it less than others, but at some point in your life you actually got to start thinking about it, because things around you just start changing for the worse, you know, and can get depressing sometime. And I think some people they try to occupy their time and try not to think about it. But even at a certain time it's going to come. It's going to come and you're going to have to deal with it.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

You know what I'm saying, and I mean that's just how life goes. I mean, I think about it often too more, more so than I did in my 40s, you know right yeah, yeah, it's like you come face to face with, with life and things that you're unprepared for right now, know, and you're seeing people that you grew up with, your peers. You're just hearing aunts, uncles, friends. They just they're slowly but surely leaving us and you know it gets, frankly, it gets depressing sometimes, man.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, man, you know, I mean I try not to think of it to that on that level, but it's what I'm doing while I'm here. Okay, let me try to build the empire so that you know what, what I leave behind or something you know. I mean I don't even like talking about leave behind. It's what I'm putting together now is going to be, is going to, it's going to stand the test of time. You know, I'm saying it's going to, it's going to be. Now I'm going to be only remembered for my family, but remembered for everything.

Speaker 1:

You know, I'm saying that's gonna, that that's how I look at, that's how I would prepare, that's how I prepare my mind for, okay, the, the um, you know, the, the so-called end, that things that we can't stop. It's like I'm not gonna ponder, I'm not gonna just sit back and like, okay, just let let the age creep up on me and or this, that and the third, and not thinking about getting healthy. So when I was saying I was in a rut, um, because I had that, it felt like a defeating mindset in a way, like, okay, well, I'm gonna throw myself in a home or something, you know I mean, but even though I'm not feeling that way. But I started like I said, wait a minute, let me just get super, super, let me, let me do a change, let me challenge myself to a change, um, physically in my life.

Speaker 1:

Because I started, um, I started doing, trying to do some yoga, and I realized, like yo, why I can't move my leg, like india, I said, oh shit, I'm like yo, this left leg is bugging, so I wind up when I want to go to gym. Actually, on the personal trainer dudes, they was like oh man, you got your hips, man, you gotta do something with your hips, yeah, yeah. So then I just started, I'm just starting now, I'm just starting to really get into like the yoga I'm trying to and really starting to know, know, know my body and and really trying to reverse, reverse the way the body functions. It's like how we start off slim, we gain weight and then we just start getting dumpy.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah. And to piggyback on that, guys like us that are, you know, six feet plus, you know as we get older we need to slim down because you know, being so tall, the heart works harder, especially if you carry a lot of weight. So the wise thing to do is to slim down so you can take it easy on your heart, to have some kind of longevity.

Speaker 1:

You know what I'm saying? Right, right yeah.

Speaker 2:

And to go on to what you're saying. You know, try not to think about you know what's going to happen after you know I'm gone. But realistically you've got to put some thought to it because sooner or later it's going to be a reality and you've got to kind of set up your people to be okay. It's nothing, we don't want to talk about it, but you have to deal. You've got to deal with it sometimes. You've got to come to terms with it and you've got to start setting up. You know your people for life without you, you know, you just cannot think about it because the next thing you know you just want to make sure the ones that you loved is okay when you go out. And I mean it's okay to think about it. I think it's good to think about it. I don't know, bro, you can't be in denial man.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but it's like I mean, but what are you thinking about? Like, what is that thought?

Speaker 2:

like, I want to make sure my people my wife and kids are able to function well financially when I'm gone.

Speaker 1:

Oh no, but that is different. That's different the way me and you saying the same thing, but the way my fiancé how he was saying it. It had nothing to do with setting up this family with this. It had nothing to do with this. It's like yo, we got to go. Most likely your uncle's probably depressed. It sounded like it. He sounded like he's trying to bring me to a depressed party.

Speaker 2:

A lot of people who, once you hit their 50s, they get depressed.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'm like, yo like relax man, I'm still fighting the fight, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, he's in a different state of mind.

Speaker 1:

I'm sure he's in a low state of mind where he's not you, you got the me and you saying the same thing setting up the family like that. That's what we're saying, but the way he's coming at it, I'm like come on, man, please stay over there.

Speaker 2:

Stay over there, man, stay over there I hear you, I hear you, I guess I get you saying now yeah, yeah yeah, well, by the way, congratulations, man. I know that that, that that day is coming soon to you and your fiance, right? Oh yeah you're all about to get there right oh yeah man, oh yeah man.

Speaker 1:

So, um, yeah, man, I'm about to take that big step and get get married. You know, um pretty soon, but um, I said we had to. Um, we have some things that we gotta solve first, so I don't currently, me and my me and my fiance, we in therapy therapy, slash counseling slash counseling like I mean, when you say counseling like, um, they're the therapy, they're just talking straight up and down about who we are.

Speaker 1:

What are we doing now? I don't know. I don't know what the process as far as um marriage counseling is, I don't know. Are they, are they foreseeing what y'all need to do as a couple? Um, what, what is? What is that like? What is it?

Speaker 2:

yeah, well, first of all, uh, like I says, uh, I've been, I've been happily married. We're going on 13 years right now and uh, at the beginning before the reverend married us, we, when we spoke to him he was like yo listen, man, before y'all get married, y'all gotta take y'all gotta take marriage counseling. He's like why, why is that? He's like I'm not going to marry you unless you'll take counseling. We got to sit there and we got to talk, we got to discuss what marriage is about and what it takes to have a fruitful marriage and make sure you two people have and are getting married for the right reason and we had about three sessions and let me tell you something, it was very beneficial to our marriage.

Speaker 2:

It gave us a better understanding of marriage and what it's about. And you know, some people think you just get married, it's just like it's just ceremonial, and then you're married. Nah, it's a lot of things that come with it, man, and so I recommend counseling to the utmost degree. You could be living, let me tell, tell you something you could be living with somebody for uh, three, four years, but the day after you marry them, day after, it's different man, different walk. It's like I don't know how to explain. It's like you cross over to a more spiritual realm and and you kind of give up your independence and you become cohesive until y'all become one and you got to share all the decision, everything is you and her. You understand, yeah, it's like a bonding right, right, right, right, right, right, right.

Speaker 1:

And I'm, you know, I'm, I'm learning. I'm learning things about myself. Um, I'm learning, I'm learning a lot that I got to be more present. I got to be more present in my relationship.

Speaker 2:

What do you mean? Physically or mentally?

Speaker 1:

Mentally, mentally. Yes, I got to be more mentally present and really listen to my fiance when she this is what she wants and this is what she needs. You know what I'm saying. Sometimes, when you're with somebody for a long time, like you, you ignore the little things, yeah, that make make us tick yes, and then and then next. You know, when you ignore that, we ain't tick, talking no more. You know I'm saying so, it's like it's off you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah it is.

Speaker 2:

It is imperative that you listen and you be there physically and mentally and try to take in what your fiance is saying and you know, when you get married. It's a lot of anticipating now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Like you know, your wife gives you little hints. Yeah, wife don't always want to tell you exactly what to do. Women are like that. They want to tell you exactly, they want to drop a little hint and they want you to pick up and go with it. You know what I'm saying Right, right, right. The quicker you learn that, the better marriage you have. You understand.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I do, and you know what, during counseling, what was amazing, the Reverend he's like you know what was the number one factor to people getting divorced for marriage? And we used to talk we do infidelity, so-and-so this and that.

Speaker 1:

Guess what it was. What's that term? Unreconciled differences.

Speaker 2:

Negative Finances. Finances, they said. People get divorced at a higher rate from lack of finances. That's the number one factor with people getting divorced. So before you get married, if there's any financial issues, it's better to put it out in the open. Let your mate know what they're dealing with you understand what I'm saying, right.

Speaker 2:

Because if you live in a facade and you act and then you get married and then she finds out things are not really what they're like, a lot of women are just not going to stick around. You know and, more importantly, you want somebody that if you're going through a financial struggle, you got to know they're going to be there with you and they're going to hit you on with you and take the lows with the highs with you and not bail out on you. You understand what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

And that's a big factor in my marriage. What I love about my wife is, you know, in marriage, like I said, marriage is a roller coaster. It's ups and downs, but you just got to hang on. You understand and stay for the ride. And I've been up and I've been down and during the downs my wife hang on with me and she said you know what we down together.

Speaker 1:

Nice, nice.

Speaker 2:

that's what's up, and then we're going to go up together. And it was times where she had a how could I say? She had to take the driver's seat for a little while. Sometimes I was down, she held me down, boom, boom, boom. You got to make sure they don't treat you different, because sometimes when a woman has to take the driver's seat, then she tries to belittle you and make you feel less than a man.

Speaker 1:

You understand what I'm saying.

Speaker 2:

Right, right. My wife is not like that. Do that all the time when she had to hold me down. Still, let me feel like a man. Still let me run the ship. You understand what, right? Right right, right right Because at the end of all women, you really got to always make a man feel like he's a man, and once you start belittling him and make him feel less than a man, that's also going to bring problems.

Speaker 1:

It'll bring problems. It'll bring problems, definitely it'll bring problems. And you just like when a woman want to flex her muscles, yeah, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2:

She want to flex her muscles when they. But the thing about it is it's supposed to be natural.

Speaker 1:

The man is supposed to be the sole provider.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, the man is the driver, but sometimes the woman. The man is the driver, the woman helps navigate you understand what I'm saying. Right facts but there's going to be times where you're going to need her to drive for a little while.

Speaker 1:

Facts, facts, facts, facts, facts. That's true, that's true, man.

Speaker 2:

But majority of the time the man is the sole provider, he's the leader, he's the driver, you understand.

Speaker 1:

Yep.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but when you stand off, course you need a woman to be there. Like listen, you know you stand a little off to the left, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you need to make a you know, right, right, right, right, Stay on focus, girl.

Speaker 1:

Right, right, right, right, yeah, right, pilot, you dig facts, man. You know you hold them stairwell for a little bit. Girl, hold the stairwell. You know I mean yeah, yeah, yeah, you know we're gonna get there, we get there. No doubt you know when you drive we go slower, but we're gonna get there yeah, hey, sometimes listen, sometimes she see things you can't see that's a fact yeah, you know when you drive.

Speaker 2:

You know when you drive a driver. You know drivers can't see everything because he's more focused on the road. It's other shit on the side and that guy to be like yo boom watch that right there.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly oh shit, I didn't even see that. Good luck, you know, exactly, exactly, exactly. And um, you know it was interesting, interesting, right? Um you saying far as what you see, right? Um, there's this, there's this dude, right that? Um, I always, I always see, you know he always like tags me, not always, he tags me, like at least once every two weeks in a post, but you know that's one of them tags when, like, 99 people were in it. I'm like yo, why does he keep?

Speaker 2:

tagging me. I hate that group but then.

Speaker 1:

but then one time, a couple times, he would comment on my stories, yeah. So then I'm like, oh okay, all right. So this is not no real spam type of dude, you know I mean, because he's engaging, a couple times he would comment on my stories, yeah. So then I'm like, oh okay, all right, so this is not no real spam type of dude, you know what I mean, because he's engaging. So now he had put a post about schools. Like you know, pta Make a long story short. He's in a PTA of my old school, the school that I was trying to get into, ps235. I was trying to get in there a program.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So getting to the point where you just certain things you just don't see.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And me and him got on the phone just last week and he was talking about the opportunity of us working together, right Me trying to present my program to the school, so forth and so on. And he said like this he said you know. He said I knew you for over like 18 years, yeah. And he said that me and you never talked. We just did like this, we just head nod. But I found that interesting. I found that interesting that you could see certain things, see certain people, but you just keep it at a cordial level. But you don't know that good conversation what it could lead to. You never know what a good conversation could lead you to.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's definitely things in life that you can't see, no matter how focused you are. Yeah. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

Let me ask you a question. Yeah, would you tell a person the truth and they will hate you, or let the situation live in a lie?

Speaker 2:

I think, as a friend for a friend or a friend remember even though a friend, it got to depend the relationship with that friend. You know, you got to have an understanding of that person. Some people can't handle the truth. You know what I'm saying. Some people they'll ask for the truth and then when you give them the truth, then they'll take it away and they might not want to ever speak to you again in your life. Some people are more adept at accepting the truth than others. Some people are overly sensitive. I am a truth guy. I want the truth 24-7, even if it hurts. Yeah, tell me the truth.

Speaker 2:

You know. I think that's kind of an old school way of thinking, like yo give it to me straight, I'm always yo give it to me straight. You want this or you don't want that? Boom, let me know, boom. But some people now, especially I find in these times now, people are overly sensitive and you give them the truth.

Speaker 2:

And first, of all, the first term, that they're going to say is you're hating on me. You understand I'm saying or they don't want to accept it and they think you're just trying to put them down. You understand, like I said, I'm a person. I want the truth. But most people nowadays I find they don't want the truth. But my family members uh, brothers, sisters I give them the truth right because they know me. That's, that's how I am, you understand close friends, yo you want'm going to tell you this. Now You're fucking up.

Speaker 1:

You know the thing about this People don't like to hear that truth, People don't want to hear that People, family, family, friends they don't want to hear it.

Speaker 2:

My family, my immediate family. They know I'm the truth. They know they come to me. I'm going to give you the truth. I don't want you to live a lie. I want you to fix what's wrong and get on a brighter future, straighter road. If you understand what I'm saying?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but you see, a lot of times people don't you say fix what's wrong. A lot of people don't.

Speaker 2:

They don't believe anything's wrong.

Speaker 1:

They don't believe what they got going on is wrong. Like what? Nah, my blue suede shoes?

Speaker 2:

No, no, no, no, no no, no, yeah, the society has got soft over the last 15, 20 years. It just seems that especially men, men have become I mean, I hate to say it, men have become a lot more feminized man. They're more into their feelings. I don't know what's going on.

Speaker 1:

I'm telling you, people don't like to look in the mirror, bro. People hate it. People hate it, people hate it, man, and they'll point out your flaws and everything like that. It's people usually have the most flaws. Be the one to tell you who who think they could tell you about you better than you yeah, yeah, like I said, people nowadays they want, they don't take any accountability, they don't.

Speaker 2:

They don't want to be the one that's wrong. They want to. They want to blame it on other things. They want to be the one that's wrong. They want to blame it on other things. They want to deflect.

Speaker 1:

You know you're going to hear a funny story, right, it's not, people aren't going to really find it too funny. But hey, we're going to touch on this real quick. Right, because we wanted a bigger panel. We was talking about some of the decisions Trump made, right? But I'm going to parallel this with my own personal story, because we wanted a bigger panel. We was talking about some of the decisions Trump made, right? Yeah, but I'm going to parallel this with my own personal story where, when Trump got rid of the pronouns, it's just man and woman, man and woman, that's it right, that's a great thing.

Speaker 1:

That's a great thing, but you know, the people who stand for those are the ones that's really in outrage. They really, really, really don't. They really, really, really don't like that they don't like that and um, you know they, they find, they find that like hold on, what about our equality or what about we're being trapped? You know it was going as far as um okaying surgeries for little kids that they felt that was trapped in, like a boy trapped in a girl's body, okaying surgery for certain things like that you know.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean that's a touchy subject, but that old boy trapped in a girl's body, I think that's somewhat ridiculous and I think that's a form of mental illness. Personally, I think those people they need to see a psychiatrist before they need to go and see a doctor to get a sex change. I mean, that's just how I feel about it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean, we're going to try to try lightly until we have a bigger panel and then we can, you know, do a deep dive into this. But let me talk about my situation, right, I don't even know if I told you.

Speaker 2:

Therapy is good always.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to physical therapy.

Speaker 2:

No, it's physical therapy Physical Still the same thing.

Speaker 1:

Right, and I'm in. It's the first time I'm there with there's Filipinos. Yeah, I'm like okay, and they got. You know, I went to a couple of therapy places. They got different techniques. They got this technique they using is different. I'm like, okay, and they give you massages and stuff like that, right? So I'm in there and I'm looking at, I'm looking at like two of them. I'm like, ah, look, I don't know. I'm like I don't know, bro, I'm like eh.

Speaker 2:

Well, you don't know whether it's a male or female.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, female or female is notorious for that shit.

Speaker 1:

But then, you know, now I'm getting the massage with my head down right, and then I'm looking at the sneakers, I'm peeping the sneakers, right. I'm like, all right, let me see that person's face and then I tie it to their sneakers. So then I'm like two times this individual gave me a massage and I'm like no. And then the third time, after the massage, I felt like you know, you finished, you're about to walk away. I felt like a tap, like right in the middle of my back, like I'm like after the massage, like walking away and a tap in the middle of my back. I'm like after the massage, walking away and a tap in the middle of my back. I'm like, yo, this person's getting way too into this. I felt like it was personal, intimate, intimate, intimate. Yeah right.

Speaker 1:

It was like yo, whatever's going on here, I was like yo. So I tell my fiance, I say yo. I say yo, I don't know man, I don't know what's going on. She's there laughing, she laughing. I say yo, it ain't funny, it ain't funny, right. So the next time I went, the owner, a sexual married guy, wife and all that stuff, the other workers wasn't there yet I said I said I'm actually a question that person I've been giving massage is is that a, is that a tranny? He looks at me and says huh, is that a tranny? He looks at me and says huh.

Speaker 2:

He heard you.

Speaker 1:

I said is that person a tranny? Is that person a man? He says yes. I said no, I don't want. I'm the same way. I said I don't want no more massages from him. He says okay, I understand. I mean actually your opinion, man. When you go into establishments, give you that option to say yay or nay or just be like okay.

Speaker 2:

They should give you the option to say yay or nay. That's what's wrong with this new I hate to say this, but with this new fucking world you should Just, like you know in general, socially, there's like you know in general socially, there's like you know they got men out in the clubs posing as women. You understand what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

And they letting them in no problem.

Speaker 2:

They had a sexual party and then you know, if they fool somebody and then it gets to a point where the person finds out and then they end up and pose a physical harm on them, you're the wrong one, but I feel you should let her know from the get-go what you are right. You know what I'm saying. Just to give, just to give the other person an option, the option to decide whether I want to deal with you or not. You understand, I'm the same way. I'm in when I go to therapy.

Speaker 1:

I don't want no, I'm saying I might, might see the sexes, but I don't want no man massaging me actually went to a massage parlor with my fiance and and she knows, I, I, me and her both had women massaging us. She, I'm on one table, she's on one table, that's how it is. My only option was a um. There was no other women, there was the. Was the um heterosexual? The guy who was running the place and I had I let him do it? Yeah, so I mean, I don't feel no way about that, but the chance the train you should have an option.

Speaker 1:

Have an option, yeah, yeah and and afterwards the Chinese never spoke to me again. I'm like, all right, cool, but you know what I'm saying is like. But then you, let me tell you, let me tell you what's, let me tell you what's bugged out about that. Like a month later there's this elderly guy I'm hearing, I'm hearing him flirting with her. I'm hearing, and she's like she's batting her eyes because she would walk out of the sliding room and she's batting her eyes. I'm like, damn, this older guy might not even know.

Speaker 2:

Let me tell you something that nigga might not even care.

Speaker 1:

Probably right, you know what I'm saying. He probably don't even care, man, yeah, some people don't even care.

Speaker 2:

But guys like us, old school, mean potato guys. You understand what I'm saying. Yeah, we want to know what we're dealing with At all times. I want to know what I'm dealing with Facts.

Speaker 1:

Imagine you catching a wine and it's a guy, yeah yeah, yeah, you know about the whole story.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, no, no.

Speaker 1:

But let me tell you a funnier story. But I wasn't there, I only heard about it. They was in Trinny and there's a crew of them in Trinny and one of them a good song was on. One of them went and bucked up behind a so-called thing with long Indian hair.

Speaker 1:

And then you know the thing about it is. Let me tell you the bug, that part is this In the West Indian culture the man you know what? Already the man would take a wine from somebody behind him, like, say, like a family member or something like that, or a girl get up on you and grind it behind you. So that's what it was. Homeboy wasn't gay. So in other words, the guy went behind the other guy.

Speaker 2:

So the guy who was in front looked like a woman was dancing, thinking that this was a woman behind him. Oh yeah, okay, I got you.

Speaker 1:

Thinking this was a woman behind him. Yeah, okay, I got you Thinking this was a woman behind him. So he's grinding, grinding back and next thing, you know, he probably felt a ting on him. He turned around. Yeah, he turned around and he said Bula, Bula, Bula Yo Yo. You turn around and they call him a bula. I said oh, shit.

Speaker 2:

Let me tell you something, man it's mad tricky out there now. That's why it's a good thing that you're settling down to get married because, believe me, you don't want to be out there. There's all kind of how could I call it? There's a lot of sheeps in wolf's clothing, you understand what I mean.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, man, yeah, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2:

So if you're out there like indulging, then it's not a good time, especially for a heterosexual man. I mean, I'm just going to say it. It's not a good time because there's a lot of shit out there that'll fool you, get you fucked up. You understand what I'm saying? Yeah, so to have the sanctuary. You're having your wife, your woman at home and you know you got something good at home you're.

Speaker 1:

You're in a safe space.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I feel sorry. I feel sorry for the, for dudes out there now.

Speaker 1:

Man, she crazy yeah, and it's like it's. It's rough, man, just even uh, to put people in a situation like that. I mean, I feel, I feel that you should be able to go to like a particular part of town where you know everybody is like that and then do what you gotta do.

Speaker 2:

It used to be like that. Remember back in the days. Like you know. You knew back in the days you knew. You don know. You knew back in the days you knew. You don't go to the village because you know what's over there, you understand what I'm saying yeah, you knew. Yeah, you knew, you knew. But now, what did they call it? It's an integration movement.

Speaker 1:

Inclusion, inclusion, you got to Like they're regular.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Even in the school system too. It's a whole thing with a campaign of inclusion. Now Everybody needs to be categorized the same, which I don't understand.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, no.

Speaker 2:

And I'm not with it. I don't understand it, but I believe in people being categorized in certain groups. I believe in categorization and separation. Big advocate for that.

Speaker 1:

You understand what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, it's not easy, man. It's not easy, man, like yesterday I went to have my daughter, my daughter's six, and we was. I was at a. We was at a place, a location where they had bathrooms with like stalls and all that stuff like that so then I go to the bathroom, right, but then it's like there's a woman and there's men. So I'm like, I'm like my daughter, she can't, I'm not gonna let you in there.

Speaker 2:

I can't go in there and she can't go in the woman's bathroom with her.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so I bring her to the man's bathroom.

Speaker 2:

She there crying, just standing there. That's a crazy situation, yeah.

Speaker 1:

But then think about it Now imagine if I say, okay, you're a big girl going to the bathroom, and then she's in there.

Speaker 2:

And there's a man, physical man, coming out of there. I'll be furious that my daughter was in there for like five minutes already.

Speaker 1:

But then this person that I don't know what you call them, but say they was in another store. You know what I'm saying? I don't subscribe to that man.

Speaker 2:

I don't subscribe to that we're not with that Fire for that.

Speaker 1:

You stay in your own.

Speaker 2:

Stay in your own man. You are what you are. You are what you was born with man.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, man.

Speaker 2:

Stop trying to change. You can't change what God gave you, man, you know what I'm saying. Yeah man, yeah man, sit down, get your shit together.

Speaker 1:

You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2:

But they say God don't make no mistakes, right Shit.

Speaker 1:

So why are you trying to fix shit? Yeah, right, yeah, the only ones that I say that. People are going to probably try to cancel me, but as I said the hermaphrodites Speak your mind huh, like hermaphrodites, they're the only ones that could probably go either way to me. You know what I?

Speaker 2:

mean Yo, shit's so crazy nowadays I ain't even hear about that term in forever. A merphidite, uh-huh? Yeah, that's the one that has the two has the penis and the vagina, right? Yeah, that's crazy.

Speaker 1:

There They've been drowned out, everything that's been going on, because you know it, and white thing, yeah, we trying to get that pie together, black and white, yeah, but then now we got the LGBT and other letters coming in carving out, yeah, which is what is the part? What should we prioritize? And it's not the same fight. And it's not the same fight. But what makes it worse is being to being a minority and in that group. So you got you, it's two, it's two things, that's. That's that that you up against. You know, I'm saying not only that you, black, or your minority, yeah, and you and your faith, you're trying to fight, you trying to climb uphill with that. You want equality like that. Look at me like this.

Speaker 2:

So nah bro, yeah, and the the whole, or I want to be like now. You couldn't be. Who the you? You think you want to be? If you want to, you know I want to be. I want to be a king, you understand. I want to be now just king. Call me king. Well, I want. That is ridiculous, right? I don't even see why people, even why society, is even paying them any mind. I mean, I just don't understand it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, man, it's rough, it's rough. Man, it's rough, it's rough, it's a rough world I feel.

Speaker 2:

Sometimes. I look at my kids and I be like Dad, y'all gonna it's not gonna get no better man.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's not gonna get no better, but things did get better though, bro. You know what got better as far, bro. You know what got better as far as what? And and um. Technology got better, resources got better, but the way of thinking changed. It matured, but it went a different direction. It didn't improve. It didn't improve society. It didn't improve. No dead people are trying to figure it out on a small scale. It's a big scale to them, but it's a small scale compared to the to the. We went from black and white tv to color tv of course, of course, that's right to the to the evolving as a person.

Speaker 1:

Yeah to tv on your phone. Yeah to um, to to um. Get sitting at the back of the bus. You can't use the um, the same water fountain. Fighting that fight now we, we, we growing and for us, like you know, I mean like yo, let's and, as I said, black, black and white TV, the color TV, the things that's changing, that we was making monumental steps and then now it's just like now. It's just this big, big, big gumbo with different issues, and the main issue is not about black and white and inequality. There's so much things into it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, human nature is in a frenzy right now.

Speaker 1:

Man, human beings is in a frenzy right now it's all over the place, man yeah, man, it's all over the place, like you said.

Speaker 2:

You know, things were a lot more simple when we was growing up, you understand yeah live in a very complex world right now yeah, man yeah man they said, um, but hey, we here.

Speaker 1:

We here to make it better. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we're going to try to make it better, especially for our kids, you understand.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, man, the only thing we got. All we doing is fighting that. Fight for the children, man.

Speaker 2:

Fighting the fight for the children man.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but yo let me ask you a question, man. This is about your boy, lebron James. Yo did you see that? Did you see when the Lakers was playing the Knicks and LeBron trotted over to him and the third quarter timeout for Stephen A Smith and he had words for him? You talking about my son, you don't talk about my son. What's your thoughts on?

Speaker 2:

that. You know I'm not a great advocate for LeBron James. I think he's a great person off the court. But as far as on the court, I'm not an advocate for LeBron James and I think he had the right idea, right message, wrong timing, wrong timing. I think there could have been a thousand different situations where he could have personally stepped to Stephanie Smith off camera. I don't understand why you're going to do it on camera. I think he knew what he was doing. He wanted it to be a off camera. I don't understand why you're going to do it on camera. I think he knew what he was doing. He wanted it to be a big thing. Me personally, if I have a problem with somebody, I'm not going to speak to them in the spotlight. I'm going to pull your side on the corner. Yo, let me talk to you. You understand what I'm saying. Right To me, that's more man-to-man conversation, that's more. And when I say pause, it's it's it's kind of more one-on-one, it's more intimate. Let you know I'm I'm serious. You understand what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

As far as, like doing the shit in the crowd, so all the viewers and everything. I think it was a publicity stunt on his part and I think, uh, he shouldn't one. That said, I remember when he said that Bronny was better than most of these dudes in the NBA, and I also remember him saying he said Bronny don't care about Bronny, don't listen to the news, bronny don't care about that shit, what people say, so, and so you know what I'm saying. All he do is play. So he made it seem like Bronny blocks all of that out. So obviously it's beginning to bother. Bronny blocks all of that out, so obviously it's beginning to bother Bronny. And now he wants to write. Like I said, right message, wrong timing.

Speaker 1:

Hey, I think the plan is for. I mean, it's the right message, wrong timing, but but, but, but what? I think the plan is Bronny. Bronny really feels like yo. Brian is Brian really feels like yo. I don't want to keep up this facade, no more, because you know what I think they're doing. They're waiting for Bryce. Bryce might think the youngest son. I think this might be his last year.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So then he's going to go one year next year, then he's going to go straight to the NBA. After that, one year in college, then he's going to go to the NBA and then LeBron's going to get it. He probably made them a promise. I promise that y'all going to be playing on my team sons, I promise you that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but I'm not sure that his kids even won that. I think this is LeBron James' dream.

Speaker 1:

I don't know.

Speaker 2:

I don't think he ever sat down. Listen, man, I got a son. I got a 15-year-old son, right? I don't think it's my son's dream to play on the same, even if I was younger and more agile let's just say I was 35. I don't think my son wants to play on a team of me. Young guy, they want to play with their pairs.

Speaker 1:

You understand. But it's different. You're looking at it differently, but would they rather be pairs or LeBron James? Their pairs are talking about your father. If your son was into basketball like that and he had his father that was like that, if you know that's the pinnacle, why wouldn't you want to be there?

Speaker 2:

I'm sure they want the benefits of him getting them in the NBA per se on the lake or anything, but I'm really not sure they want to be playing with their father. You understand what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

I know I hear you, but say Jay-Z had sons.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And they wanted to be aspiring rappers. You don't think they would want to be on the same stage as they pops Maybe momentarily, but not career-wise, pops you would don't.

Speaker 2:

Maybe momentarily, but not, not, not, not, not career wise. Eventually, they're going to want to spread their wings and fly on their own. True, I know I would.

Speaker 1:

But, but I mean me too, but I, I think that I think that it's just going to be like a, a big play, and then they're going to LeBron's going, the boys are going to go overseas, or something.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, like I'm not sure. To me, bronny doesn't even look like he wants this. I think this is more from my perspective. I think this is more of LeBron James' dream, and I think this is his flex To me. When I look at Bronny's body language, to me it seems like he doesn't even want to be there. I don't know I could be reading him wrong.

Speaker 1:

You understand what I'm saying he doesn't look too enthusiastic to me, Right, right?

Speaker 2:

right, you understand what I'm saying, right? He just seems to look like he's just trying to make his father happy.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Could be. Who knows, Rich people problems right.

Speaker 1:

Rich people problems. Right, right, right, right, right, right, yo, and it's a battle that I could pass because I moved from a certain area and when I drive by there, I get like an overwhelming feeling. I get like a feeling inside like this is where I used to drive and park right here and drink in the car. I used to park here, I used to park here, I used to park there, I used to park there and this particular neighborhood, and then I passed certain liquor stores. When I'm driving or when I'm walking by, I'm like damn, I used to be in that liquor store, man, and it's like I'm like alcohol.

Speaker 1:

It felt like it was a good thing, but it really was like something that that played a part of my life, but it was like it stagnated me, bro, of course, because I looked at you know what I looked at? I looked at time, how much time I got back, meaning that the day that I say I drink, I'll drink at night and I'll be slammed the next day and I won't get up until around 12 or some shit like that. Right, so now, like, say, like, now, like, like say, if I went out last night, I wouldn't be getting up until around late in the afternoon or late morning, right, but now I get up at five in the morning almost every day. So imagine me after every day I drink, I'm losing five hours, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So then okay, say like I'll lose five. Like say, two times, three times a week, that's 15 hours. 15 hours I would lose that I'm not doing something productive.

Speaker 2:

Think about all the countless memories you lost toward alcohol. Yo, sometimes you know you run into the old homies and stuff and you talk and they'd be like yo, you remember when you did this or that, you'd be like what Fuck is you talking about, nigga?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I ain't never did that. Yeah, nigga, we was right here. You did that shit. Yo, that's crazy. Sometimes, when people tell me things that happen that I don't remember, I'm like oh shit, rob me of countless memories and you put all those times and you add that shit up. That's fucking years off your life.

Speaker 1:

That's years off your life, man. Yeah, I started speaking to one of the homies he was telling me. He said yo, mont. I turned to one of them guys. I said what are you talking about? He said yo, I just went to a party and I don't remember anything from that night. He said I don't remember anything. He said I went out with just a amount of money in my pocket and I came home with nothing.

Speaker 2:

I remember coming home Next day, get up don't know where the fuck I parked my car. Don't remember the fucking ride home, bitch.

Speaker 1:

Me too Scary. Yo, I did that in the city and I was like yo Many times I did that. I was like yo. We did like a scavenger hunt. There was like seven of us. We walked up to one block one block, I'm telling you because none of us. We was all drunk and we couldn't figure out where we parked.

Speaker 2:

And think about how dangerous that was. Man, you don't remember any events.

Speaker 1:

You don't remember. Let me tell you. One of the worst things about that happened to me when I was drinking, you know, I got fucked up. I came home and whatever I don't remember nothing really and then, until I got up the next day, went to the bathroom. You know, morning piss, I'm going to the bathroom. Next thing I look to my right. I see I see shit. I see shit in the tub. Yo kid, I was the only one there. I came home Cause, you know, after you get fucked up, you always eat.

Speaker 1:

I came home and I thought that probably was the toilet, and I shit and I shit it in the tub, kid yo.

Speaker 2:

I ain't never get there.

Speaker 1:

I tell you man that's some different shit that was wine on mind. Yeah, wine on mind. You know what's?

Speaker 2:

crazy. You know it's different types of drunks, like there's the pass out with. You know it's different types of drunks, Like there's a the pass out with everybody. You got on drunk.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I'm always that, no matter how drunk I am, I get home I could be, take my, you know, take, get organized, then go to bed. I always been that drunk. I never been the type to pass out and I might do. I might go do that, get organized, go lie down for a while. Then I got up early and I get up, so-and-so, but I was always that organized, even if I flush the toilet. I'm just that type of drunk, you understand. I know some people that's like that. We know a few pass out drunks, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

Yes, things like that, so nobody have to ever tap you in the club to wake you up, I was always able to have control.

Speaker 2:

I think it's just something mentally.

Speaker 1:

I always had control until I get home, until I hit the bed. I'll tell you that's why my drinking. It went from overwhelming like oh, party, party, party. As you get older my drinking started making me sleepy After I get twisted my last years I was I would be the one yo. Mine's gonna go to sleep in the club, mine's sleeping. I'll sleep on the way to the club. You know what I'm saying. The alcohol was hitting me.

Speaker 2:

Different man you know what it sounds like. It sounds like you was a more you was. You was a different level, you was an alcoholic man yeah, I mean probably. Yeah, there's different types of alcoholic. I think I'm more of a weekend warrior alcoholic. You sound like you was an everyday alcoholic, right or wrong?

Speaker 1:

No, no, I wasn't drinking every day, but when I drank, I drank like a warrior. You understand, I drank with a mission. You know what I mean. I wasn't playing around Like yo, listen. A mission, you know I mean. I wasn't playing around like yo, listen me. And this bottle going down.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, me and this bottle here. We ain't, we ain't friends. Uh, no, I'm saying no. No, I'm a different type of drinker. I drink to. I'm trying to get to a certain place uh-huh I'm certain, get to a certain level of drunkness and usually when I get there I could stop. Sometimes you still indulge, but I I never be like yo. I'm gonna finish this bottle no, I never.

Speaker 1:

I never get to that place and just I never, no, no, no, I never get to that. Okay, it's a time to stop.

Speaker 2:

Place when it's time to stop yeah, I know, I have a homeboy like that. He's like once he started, he can't stop I'm cooked, yeah, yeah I always, always had a, a threshold where I reached I'm like nah, that's it.

Speaker 1:

You know what I'm saying and then that's when I started getting respect for bottles and I started giving them first name basis like Ron, ron Bacardi or Jose you know what I'm saying. I started respecting the bottle a little differently. But I'm glad journey that was overwhelming, that was taking too much of my life away yeah, man really really. Yeah, man Really, really, really yeah congratulations, three years.

Speaker 2:

Like I know I said this before. I want to get there. Man, I'm a little fucked up from last night Went to my cousin's sick birthday party, big up sick. You know what I'm saying. I'm a little fucked up. Now. You understand what I'm saying and you know, as you get older the after effects is much different. It lingers. Yeah, it lingers more Like you know when you was young boom, you drink a lot. Boom get up good, boom. I'm probably going to be in a sullen place for the rest of the day.

Speaker 1:

Right, right right, right, right right, you know with the after effects of this alcohol.

Speaker 2:

You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

What about with you like, say, after getting drunk like that, do you have liquor craps? What do you have? Liquor craps, liquor craps you probably don't.

Speaker 2:

Liquor craps is like you got the liquor shits. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, especially when I used to um drink the brown liquor or do you don't?

Speaker 1:

I mean I, you don't have like I would. Let me tell you that. Let me tell you that's what the problem was. A lot of the problem would be like okay, I'm going to get up late and then like say I had some things to do, like the family you got to stay in the house I gotta stay because I guess I don't want to take a crap.

Speaker 1:

And I don't want to take a crap because the crap is going to come automatically and I gotta go now yeah, that that used to happen when I was dealing with brown liquor.

Speaker 2:

I know everybody's different. You know alcohol affects certain people differently. I'm more of a clear liquor guy now I I realized when I used to drink the brown liquor slash hennessy. Yeah, the next day I'll be in the bathroom all day, my stomach be turned upside down. But now I'm more of a tequila dude and I don't really suffer with that anymore since I made the switch.

Speaker 1:

Oh, okay, you understand what I'm saying. Nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, yeah man. So yeah, man, this is. It's been a good episode, man. It's been a good episode, man. I want to make a closing statement saying that people got to take heed to what life is man and take advantage of what's going on now and just don't wait. You can't lose if you don't try. You can't lose if you don't try, man. A lot of people are reluctant.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

Speaker 1:

You don't take them. You ride that bench for not taking shots. Now, coach, be like oh, come out the game. You don't want to shoot, we don't find somebody that's going to shoot for you, man. So people take your shots, man, and productive shots now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what I mean. And shoot for the stars, man, even if you don't land where you want to land. You can't say you didn't try, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, man, my closest statement is pleasure to be back in this forum. You understand it's been a while I missed it. Always good, like I said, always good to be in company with a good friend. You know what I'm saying. We've been friends for over 20 years, you know, in a good place. You're a good dude, you know.

Speaker 2:

And I see you for everything you do, all the positivity in your life, and I also want to give a shout out to my cousin, sherry Berry. She's on a little hiatus. She'll be back soon. You understand what I'm saying. Big up, sherry, you understand. And, like I said, this, this, this feels like home, this is a form, this is our home. There's a lot more to come and I'm just looking forward to it.

Speaker 1:

Yes, sir, yes, sir, yes sir, and this is the your opinion doesn't matter podcast, and we are outie. Yeah, peace, peace, peace.