Your Opinion Doesn’t Matter Podcast

Healing Family Bonds: Childhood Trauma, Sportsmanship Lessons, and Navigating Divergent Friendships

YODM Season 9 Episode 90

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Can a single conversation redefine your understanding of family? We unravel this question by diving into personal stories and complex family dynamics that shape our lives. From childhood trauma to sibling relationships, we uncover how past experiences can influence present interactions. Discover the importance of communication and accountability in healing these old wounds and learn how to foster stronger familial bonds, as we challenge traditional notions of what it means to be family.

Have you ever wondered how sports can teach life-changing lessons? We take a closer look at youth sports ethics and coaching, exploring how leadership and sportsmanship can impact young athletes beyond the game. With stories from the court, we highlight the delicate balance between immediate performance and long-term potential. Join us as we share teachable moments that prioritize teamwork over personal achievement and explore the role of parents and coaches in guiding children toward a more holistic understanding of success.

Friendships and personal growth often go hand in hand, but what happens when paths diverge? Reflecting on long-term relationships, we examine how time and evolving interests can affect bonds. Through candid discussions, we delve into the concept of growing apart and the significance of addressing unresolved issues. By sharing personal experiences, we stress the critical role of communication and managing expectations, not just in friendships but in all relationships, to maintain harmony and personal peace.

Go support the Your Opinion Doesn't Matter game @ www.yodm.com

Speaker 1:

Welcome. Welcome to the your Opinion Doesn't Matter podcast. I am one of the hosts, Mr Lamont on the side, he's a frequent flyer. Actually, he's like a cast member. Now, Host Lem, how are you doing, bro?

Speaker 3:

Good, my brother, good, good, How's everything.

Speaker 1:

Everything is good, man. How's been the response since you've been recording? How have people been embracing you? How have people been embracing you?

Speaker 3:

All in all, it's been positive responses. You know, people are actually enjoying the conversations that we've had and the subject matter that we've been discussing, so they give positive responses.

Speaker 1:

Nice, nice, nice, nice. And you know I had some, shall I say, was a blowback pause. Somebody there was a complaint made about me saying that I'm controlling the video that me and you did my opinion of a particular topic. People were saying I was controlling the one, that the video that me, you, me and you did my opinion of a particular topic, people were saying I was controlling and I was like, wow, that's not fair, being the fact they don't know me, even though it's like you know, you get a 10 second clip and you think that I'm controlling and it's like I think it's a little tad bit much. And I believe that I lived a, you know, we lived a unique kind of life and unique circumstances that make me have, um, just my, my um, prior, not even a perception, my reality, right and um, I don't think that the person, the people who are saying these things, they, they don't even mirror what I've been through.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I mean, I could understand that, but part of the reason why I was hesitant, to you know, join a forum like this was because of the vulnerability that you're faced with. Right, people are going to pick and choose what they want to critique about your conversation. Because once you enter into a forum like this and it's public, you have to understand that people are going to have comments and they're going to perceive you to be some something that you're not just based on a couple seconds of a clip, seconds of a clip. So I think that comes with the territory and you have to be prepared for that.

Speaker 3:

those kind of uh, critiques or, you know, comments and and, as I said, that's why I was a bit hesitant, because I know it requires a certain vulnerability, it requires a certain amount of um. You know, I guess you're gonna you're gonna put yourself in a position, guess you're going to, you're going to put yourself in a position where you're going to have to ignore things. Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Right, you can't take it seriously, and that's why, even discussing some of the subject matter, although it's personal to us, um, we kind of got to stay away from personal topics, right, right, or we do. We could touch upon things, but when we incorporate our lives, then we leave ourselves open to criticism yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

I gotta um. When I talk about stories, I gotta say, hey, I'm not talking about myself, right it's not me, and even if you put that disclaimer out there, people still gonna think yeah, because you're talking from your experiences, right right, so it's still leaving you open to certain type of criticisms. Right right, right right.

Speaker 3:

So being part of this. That's why, at first, I was hesitant, because I know my perspective could be one that requires some dissection. Right, you have to listen to my full speech before you comment on it. Right, listen to my full speech before you comment on it. Right To get a full picture of what I'm and understanding me, cause I know the complexity of how I may answer questions. It requires some patience.

Speaker 1:

Right, right, right. And also we got to point to the you know, bring it to these people's attention out there, these judgmental mosquitoes that the name of the podcast is called. Your opinion Doesn't matter.

Speaker 1:

Right, right, right the name of the podcast is called your Opinion Doesn't Matter. Right, right, right. Your Opinion Doesn't Matter Based upon the game, the your Opinion Doesn't Matter debating game. You can get that at wwwyodmcom. I'm not too sure if I said too many Ws, but yeah, so it's just an opinion. I mean, it's good, it's good, you get the good and you get the bad. You know, I I don't think that was bad, but I think some people step across the line when they start indulging or whispering in other people's ears.

Speaker 3:

Right, right, because it's your opinion. It's your opinion. They could critique your opinion, but when they start to try to dissect your opinion and speak to others that are involved in your life, then that might be something else something else?

Speaker 1:

yeah, that could be you know that could be dangerous like when the mc say it's tricky, yes, tricky exactly right, right, right right. So, um, today, let's um, we was. We was talking about certain situations off camera as far as um, how family, different family circumstance, brings to like um some some sometimes chaos. Um, I went through a situation where my my brother, my older brother and it's my half brother, no don't call him half.

Speaker 3:

No, my pops said this a long time ago. There's no such thing as half. It's either your brother or he's not.

Speaker 1:

No, the way he was acting. It's my father's child, my father's child. It's your brother.

Speaker 3:

I mean, I have siblings that weren't my father and my mother didn't produce. My father had two kids before he married my mother and I really respected his perspective on that, because when I was young I said, yo, they're my half siblings, that's my half sister, my half brother. He's like there's no such thing and you shouldn't treat them that way. That's your sister, that's your brother.

Speaker 1:

Right. Well, you know, the only reason I said that is because he pissed me off, that's understandable'm just saying that for the viewers, yeah, you know.

Speaker 3:

So it's a, that's a perspective that should and I know we're going to segue into this because we were talking about family dynamics and, unfortunately, I know you're doing you're saying it for a specific reason, but sometimes that is taught in households that's your half brother and that's your half sister and by saying that alone, it ostracized the child and isolates them as though they don't belong in the unit right right, and that's talking from a perspective.

Speaker 3:

If one of these particular children we're talking about didn't wasn't a product of the marriage, so it was people that have children from prior relationships and then they go on to marry someone and have children with them those children that they have in that total family unit and the children that they had previous relationship. It's almost like drawing a wedge between them right by saying that's your half brother. It's almost like, okay, that's your brother to some degree, and by a parent doing that to a child, it develops the kind of relationship that those children will have. You could have your opinion on that as the adult, but when you put these kind of limitations on the fullness of a relationship of two children, then there's going to cause a divide.

Speaker 1:

So do you think that is maliciously done? It's like, let's say, a mother, a mother could be pissed like all right, she's finding out after year seven of marriage and they have children, five and six and then realize, oh, he had a 10-year-old son.

Speaker 3:

Listen, I could understand how that would be offsetting and it could anger someone, but once again, these children didn't ask to be here, no matter what circumstances they were brought into this world. That doesn't negate the fact that, especially if you stay with this person, then you have to accept them totally, totally, and that means those children are a package deal, right.

Speaker 3:

Then you have to accept them totally, totally, and that means those children are a package deal. You know, I've seen it happen in many relationships where you did the person that they were with. It happens both ways man or woman Right. It could happen. They could have a child from someone outside of the relationship or have a child from a previous relationship. The fact of the matter is, when you're talking about those children, there shouldn't be a label on those children. Even though biologically they didn't come from the same parents, they came from one parent and that's enough to make them siblings.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

You know, yeah and so. But I got out. I was on the wrong side of it of resentment, like my brother's older than me and he tends to want to look back on certain things Like he. You know me, you know I got over drinking. You know I mean that was like a. I don't think I was that harmful, but I was harmful enough that I could have lost my family.

Speaker 1:

The way I used to carry on, I used to call my car my office. I went from casually drinking with my friends partying to not partying and drinking with my friends. I would say I'm going to my office, where's my car? I'll go get a pint and like four nips and I sit in the car and I'll get twisted. Three days a week, no partying. And I was doing this for a while. I was doing it for a while and then it was like it got to a point where I was like dang, I want to stop. But then things happened that forced me to stop, not like it helped me make that change, transition to I'm doing what's right. But then now it's like how my brother got me upset was that we was talking, we was in three texts with my other two, my other brother he's one year older and this particular one is two years older.

Speaker 1:

Let me make a long story short. I expressed the whole topic was um, what helped you change? What was positive that helped you change? And then each one of us brought up something and I was what I was talking. I was pertaining to my drinking and this certain thing that far as health reason helped me change. But then now the conversation went for us sharing and to him saying, oh, I was around my learning, I'm drinking times and stuff like that. But like how you, that's like I I was battling drinking, but then now I'm over it. But then you want to remind me of it. You know I'm saying you turned a good thing into a bad thing. And then, um, then, uh, my, my other brother, it was. The conversation just got bad.

Speaker 1:

Then the brother that's in between us, he spoke to him separately and said I think you resent Mark because he's your father. You know he was born. My oldest brother was born the same year. My mother and father got married and me and Dara wasn't born yet he was born that same year. So it's like a lot of things that he could be going on, okay. But like, how do you look at, how do you, how can you satisfy somebody who's on on that, on that mission, being in their 50s and they still want to try to? I mean I didn't mention that he doesn't have a relationship with his father. I mean mean, you know everything.

Speaker 3:

Well, there's a whole bunch of layers to peel back with that man First being. It may be beneficial to the parties involved when someone is going through a similar situation like that to seek some counsel, some counseling, Because those childhood traumas carry on into our adulthood and they manifest into a lot of detrimental behavior. Right, so it's important to have those conversations with somebody outside of the family because, more than likely, based on what you're telling me here, it's starting to be, you know, negative conversations.

Speaker 3:

Right, you're not gaining ground because nobody's getting a resolution, but something like that needs to deal. He needs to deal with his past trauma or anybody in that position. It may be beneficial to them to dissect some of the things that they may have been feeling or their younger self is feeling in their mature body. Right.

Speaker 3:

Right. So that's part of it. Another part of it is there's accountability all the way around Right. Is there's accountability all the way around, right. Some of those things that he may have said to you may have triggered you and upset you, because he took a very vulnerable position that you were in that you're working through and he used it as a topic to you know, bring you down, right. But some of that may be based on the experiences that you guys had when you were younger and maybe some of the feelings that he had towards how he was treated, right. That's something that's a conversation you need to have with him or anybody that's going through those type of things in a calm forum right.

Speaker 3:

Nobody should be talking at each other, maybe getting to the bottom as to why they feel that way, you know.

Speaker 1:

I, I, I, I, I understand fully what you're saying, but you, but you, you know him, you know him well and you know these conversations not going to it won't happen because you and him had a situation and and he does not agree with you when you're a thousand percent right, right, right.

Speaker 3:

But but the thing is, I kind of understand why right, and I discussed it too, but that's, you know, that's.

Speaker 2:

I don't want to personalize this yeah, but I just think people going through people going through similar situations.

Speaker 1:

Right right, right right.

Speaker 3:

Because this is a common thing. Common thing, right? We're talking about children that eventually become adults, feeling ostracized, feeling isolated, feeling like they don't belong because they don't necessarily they weren't in that family unit. There's a, there's a, there's an extended family unit and the dynamics don't include them. As to living in the household, right, but sometimes those, those children, even live in the household and still feel that way, right, because of the, the trauma that's actually happening when their children, right, they're not there with their mother and their father, they're seeing other people in that, in those family unit structures that doesn't look the same as theirs, right, and they feel like they could have sense of abandonment. They could have it, could. It could spawn insecurity, anger. You'll see children acting out. There's so many things that happen as a result of that.

Speaker 3:

The only way to get ahead of that is to be mature and understanding enough as a parent to sit down and have these conversations with all of the children present and even the other mates. Right, you need a total, unified front to make that child feel like they belong and they do belong, but also to point out to the other children that are involved listen, we're all together as a family unit. There, no difference here. The love is the only way to really deal with that. I'm now not not talking about at adulthood, but when they're children it happens.

Speaker 1:

Then it's the responsibility of those parents to make sure that there isn't a divide yeah, I always looked at as family because I didn't think that he showed me love. When I was telling him that I'm going through things with my mom being sick, I thought his family, I thought he would have that love. But that that right there showed me he's not like my brother, brother, you know. I mean that that from that not having empathy and not really caring, it's like this he showed me. All right, we, definitely we. There's a definite separation, there's definitely a separation, but but no.

Speaker 3:

But like I said though, man, um, you asked the question do you think it's malicious? Like malicious behavior, some of his behavior, not just him, but even when we discussed it, well, you, initially, we were talking about the adults involved, right, was it? Is it malicious behavior that did singling out children? Is it malicious behavior he has towards you? No, I think this is unconscious behavior that could happen to people. It's unconscious like a father saying, oh, that's your half sibling, because a woman had a child in a previous relationship. Or vice versa, a woman saying that's your half sibling. It's not malicious behavior, that's learned behavior, right? So now that we first of all interact with children, when we're talking about now, in this day and age, we interact with our children way different than our parents interacted with us. Oh, facts, we didn't have say-sos, there wasn't powwows and conversations about what happened, it's just like shut your mouth, do what I say.

Speaker 3:

That's it, end of story. Now we give children, we give them enough. We allow them input right, we allow them input in conversations that were just regulated to adults years ago. Right, we don't give them a full reign. But I'm talking about, with things like this sensitive, sensitive subject matter like this, we as adults are more open to allowing children a seat at the table to listen to this, to, to hear their input, to try to resolve it. I think it's more healthy communication now. It wasn't malicious for years ago for parents to exclude us. It's just they were raised differently too. There was. We discussed this in a prior podcast. There was more of a generation gap with children and adults when we were coming up. Right, even down to the clothing they wore. Like you used to look at our parents' clothing. We still dress youthful, like you and your children could have the same kind of gear on now Back then.

Speaker 1:

Oh, no way.

Speaker 3:

Them dudes high waters with church socks, wearing sandals and socks all kind of crazy stuff.

Speaker 1:

Wearing shoes in the summer? Yeah, that's nutty. Those regular shoes, you know fashion, wasn't it?

Speaker 3:

There was such a generation gap, then even down to fashion. Now, because we are, there's less of a generation gap and people are more, you know, in tune with modern culture and fashion and stuff like that. That's another reason why I think the relationships with our children have changed. It's not like before, when we didn't have anything in common. We still could have things in common. I could sit and talk to my sons for three and four hours, no problem. So I think all of that is important. It's important that children, children are involved in those tough conversations because it helped them mature and become healthy adults as well. Right, if we just keep things away from them, how will they learn? How will they be prepared? Yeah, they're not going to be prepared for those. They could be faced with the same things and you know, you want to hear something is interesting.

Speaker 1:

Like you know, my daughter's six, you know she said to me the other day she was trying to express herself and I'm telling her no, it's not like this. She said, yes, this is this, is, this is what it is. Right, she's talking about something she called breadcrumbs. Right, this is bruno. Um, this is, um, bready, something bready, bready. But it's like it was like I thought a girl, a child in her class, gave it to her and it was. I thought it's just mold, like hard bread. She says daddy, you know, kids are smarter than parents in some respects.

Speaker 1:

So then I'm like I said hold on. I said so how come I help you with your homework every day? She said you know sometimes, sometimes you, sometimes you do, sometimes you know, but I know how to do it. But then I wind up.

Speaker 1:

Going upstairs that same bread I told her to throw away. She didn't Because I thought it was bread from like you throw it away. And she had it on the table. I said let me show you why this is bread. I picked it up, put it on the floor for the dog to eat it. Dog smelled and walked away. So she was right. She was right. It wasn't bread easy, right, right right now I'll just be speaking about um.

Speaker 1:

Let's pivot into um, the kids and and how we, how we see kids. Let's talk about with sports like the um, competitiveness in sports and the lack of opportunity with certain sports that our kids can't you know, can't become superstars in and, like a lot of kids, is like stuck with basketball and basketball and football. But I know you're going through the competitive edge with the circuit with the AAU with your son. Do you ever I know I did, I was guilty of this, I'm pretty sure you kind of guilty of this do you find yourself sizing up other players on the team and then look at them compared to your son and be like yo nah, that guy's not that good, I think.

Speaker 3:

I think, I think he could take him yeah, of course, I mean, that's just, that's natural. That's natural because who else are you going to measure their talent against other than kids that they're playing with, right, right, but having an understanding See, at this age I think less likely about where they are now, I look at the way they play the game of who has the most potential to go further. For instance, my son just went through this situation. Initially, when he started playing, he was scoring a lot of points, right, because he was just getting the ball, shooting it and scoring a lot of points, and the more that his basketball game changed, meaning he started to develop other skills like ball handling and passing and also navigating, you know, learning, developing his iq. He stopped scoring as much and I think in some respects maybe his confidence to shoot as much decreased, but his other senses of the game increased. Right.

Speaker 3:

Right. So another one of his teammates on the team, which the kid is pretty good, but at this point it seems one dimensional. He shoots a lot, he scores a decent amount. He came to my son at the end of the game. They won the game. I watched the game. My son only had four points, but I watched the way my son played and for the first time since he started playing basketball I really got a glimpse at the type of basketball player he will become Nice Because he led his team. He ran the plays. Not only did he run the plays and call the plays, but he pointed and told people where to go on the basketball court. He was navigating the entire game, making the right passes, doing everything to facilitate his teammate scoring all of these points. But he's still a kid. Right.

Speaker 3:

When his teammate came up to him towards the end of the game and I'm watching and I'm listening his teammate came Jackson, I have 15. How much you had, how much you had. And that was things that we did when we were kids, when you and I were on the same team. As young basketball players, the first thing you would say is how much points you had. My son, I watched him, he got emotional and I saw him getting emotional. So after the game was over, this was a valiant lesson I went in. This is why coaching is important as a matter of fact At this level, just like we're talking about the foundation of a child's interaction in a household. When we allow our children to play for certain coaches, we give them the keys to influence our children Right. So we really have to be selective on who we allow to give our children messages and what messages they're giving our children. So I say that to say I pulled my son on the side and he was visibly distraught, not crying, but on the brink, because I think he felt let down, that he didn't score more points. So I said listen, man, your father has experience in this sport, as you know, man, and I watched you and I watched a quality that you can't just teach, and that's leadership. You were a leader on that court and you impressed me so much. Forget about scoring, man, that's going to gonna come. You can score, but you weren't concentrating on scoring, so that's why you didn't score as many points as you probably could have, and I don't need you to do that.

Speaker 3:

So as I'm relaying this message and I'm telling him how proud I am, his coach walks over and sees him, see me preaching to him and seeing him a little distraught, especially after a win. His coach was like Mr McIntyre, I got this, give me a minute. I said sure, because I trust this coach. He said Jackson, why do you look like that? He said I am so impressed with what you did. He said forget about points. He just knew what was happening. He said, forget about points, he just knew what was happening. He said forget about points.

Speaker 3:

You're the only person I give the keys to the team. You run my team. You run my plays. You do everything that I want somebody to do. That's the leader on my team. He reiterated exactly what I said and I said you see, I just told you that. So I bring that up to say that you know, at this stage of the game, when it comes to children in sports or in households, it's a matter of developing them for who they will become, not even who they are now, because the disappointment comes later if you don't do this foundational work Right, right now, because the disappointment comes later if you don't do this foundational work right.

Speaker 1:

right, I had come. I had a situation when I was coaching and I I got real upset with one one kid, um, he ran to the. He ran to the um table and say how much he scored, but we lost. And the thing about it is I knew his father. His father used to play ball with me but he was there with his mother, right, and I said, no, don't do that, don't do that. I said your father wouldn't like you doing that because he grew up in a ball. When you play ball, you don't do that, especially when you lost.

Speaker 1:

You never check the score when you lose. When you lost.

Speaker 3:

We used to do it, but it's not something that's good. As a coach, you're supposed to teach him. It's not about you, I understand. It's about the team.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. And the mother, she's saying what are you telling my son about? Oh, you're going to tell his father. I said his father won't like that, but I will tell him if I feel like it. I mean, it's like she's saying but but what was so wrong about that? I said you're not. I said it's certain ethics you need to have or you might not know it because you didn't play ball, it's basketball ethics. Oh man, you don't. You do not certain things you don't do. You don't run to the, you lose. You don't smile and run to see how much you scored. You know, it's just the way.

Speaker 1:

And then one second, it's just like another thing that I'm teaching my daughter. She's playing basketball and during the practice she's the only girl there and she feels down that like the boys are faster, like they be doing faster. They're like real Roby-ish, they're like running fast, but they are that's without the ball. But when they have the ball, I said, listen, they running faster, like that without the ball. But I said when they get the ball, y'all are going at the same speed. She says yes. I said all right, that's what is really right, that's what's up, that's what is really that, what really matters.

Speaker 1:

And then she had did something I didn't like. Um, there was another kid that was just learning. She was like that two years ago and she was like she had that oh man, we're gonna lose because they were doing some a drill, running to go get a cone and come back and that kid couldn't dribble. So I said, I said and she was voicing it out loud I called her, I said don't you ever do that, because you was that kid before. And I said you don't like when these boys, when they running and they fastening you and they say, oh, hurry up, catch up. You don't like that. So why are you doing that? To somebody else. And she says yeah, you're right.

Speaker 3:

Right says yeah you're right right, that was a teaching moment, so that's exactly what we're discussing.

Speaker 3:

See, you had a teaching moment, because with children it's easy to see. It's not malicious, right, because it's a child, so to to piggyback on what we were discussing earlier. Sometimes with adults it's not malicious either. Sometimes you have to point things out to people that they just don't see. But it's important that your delivery is digestible to them, because certain deliveries aren't digestible, people just they're not consuming it, they're not going to take it on because of how it's presented.

Speaker 3:

Right, they're not going to take it on because of how it's presented, right? So if you don't say that to your daughter, she carries on like nothing, right? But you pointed it out and now she can see that she was once in that position. It happens with all children, right? It's teachable moments, so many different things. Like my son, he's a jerk. My son is a jerk in some respects, sort of like me. I can't even say that I wasn't, so he's a nice dude, but, for instance, he clearly is a talented basketball player for his age. But he'll be playing with his close friends. What does he want to do? Shake them up and make them hit the floor. So I'm like, why are you doing that? These are kids that are not even really basketball players. Oh so you want to abuse them.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, he wants to abuse his own friends. I'm like you think they're going to want to play basketball with you after this. No, so all of these are teachable moments, even with him. And I was like br bro, none of your friends is going to want to play with you, because as soon as you get an opportunity to embarrass them, that's what you're going to. This is what you're going to do once you get an opportunity.

Speaker 3:

So you know, it's just. Those are teachable moments with kids Now that we're adults. Not just a family dynamic of like nuclear family mother, brother, sister, father but extended family and friends, right. I think in a prior podcast we discussed this and it was about relationships, and I have made mention to how difficult it is when you're in a relationship. Let's say you have a long term relationship with the opposite sex, a man and a woman in a long term relationship, and they met, let's say, very young, 18, high school, college. They met, stayed together, got married and now they've been married 20, some odd years, 25 years.

Speaker 3:

And you hear the term grow apart. Right, which is a real thing. People can grow apart. Your interests can change, you may not be aligned in different things that lead the relationship to deteriorate somewhat and people get divorced right, those things happen. But when it's friends, you might have to divorce them too. Facts, right. If you have a friendship that's lasted all that amount of time and that's the difficulties we have with siblings, with friends, platonic friends, when people know you for that long.

Speaker 3:

I had a disagreement with a family member of mine and the family member I had the disagreement with says to me do you remember when you did such and such to me, you, the same person. I thought about it and I'm like what do you mean they talking about when I was 17 years old? Right, because of the relationship has such a long history, they can point out things to when you were so immature immature you don't even know who that kid is anymore, right, but they know you, so they're going to point to that specific issue that you, you may have wronged them when you were 17 years old, right? Yeah, I'm a grown-ass man now. Yeah, I don't think the same way. Why are we still discussing matters that happened when we were all children?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, but that's what's difficult with friendships especially. Yeah, I said this me and you had a, even you and I. Let's be honest, all friendships go through rough patches. I remember me and you went through a rough patch and I remember it got heated, right, but that's a testament to our friendship that we're still here. And I remember saying to you yo, if we met today, would we be friends? Would we be friends? That's a question that people have to ask when there's a, because all friendships go through trouble, troubling times, right?

Speaker 1:

because of the history.

Speaker 3:

Yes, yes, yes but but now you have it in your hands as adults to talk through these things that you held on to, because most of those retaliate retaliatory behavior and retaliation for be for certain things that have happened and your retaliation now for things that happen when you're 17,. That's because you need communication and you need to get to the root of what that problem was when we were children, because that's trauma. That's also childhood trauma. Your friend may have wronged you when they were 16. You never dealt with it. You held on to it and now that you're grown, you're doing things that could be of serious detriment. I've seen people do serious things to people now for things that happened that when they were children. Right, it's like really you're gonna go and tell, say some shit to my wife or my husband you know a woman saying that you're gonna to tell my husband this a friend of mine or do something that is detrimental to their life. Right, because of some pent up frustration you have when you're out with children and you know.

Speaker 1:

So you know I know how right you are. It's that you know my father, like you know. You know I was born in Bed-Stuy and you know I moved to East Flappers when I was seven. But mind you, my father's been a drinker, smoker. He's been in the US, he's from Trinidad, he's been in the US 10 years before. So at that point, 17 years he's been in Bed-Stuy. But then now once he and you know he used to hang out a lot. Obviously you're drinking and you know I used to hang out a lot. Obviously you drink and you drink and you got people you hang with.

Speaker 1:

But then now, once he got sober, the first year we moved to East Flatbush and I used to, and then I was like I never seen nobody as we went to like say Winthrop as yes. So then that means like a couple of years after we moved, like when I'm 11, 12, I'm like how come I have all my friends, how come I don't see my father with his friends? And then I got older, then older, and I'm like I'm thinking me having a group of core friends, is it? And then I realized and I asked him. He said we don't live the same lifestyles, we just don't. And then he didn't really elaborate on it. But then I understand why certain friends, friendships expire. Yeah, it definitely expires. You got to shelf it. Yes, it's like you know, certain food just the shelf life. You know you got to throw it away.

Speaker 3:

If they're not adding value.

Speaker 3:

My perspective is this If a friendship with someone is not adding value to your life, you have to question it, man, because at this stage of the game, they're not just interacting with you, right? They're interacting with your family, and there's even family members you can feel like that about. If you're not adding value to my life, then I don't see the need because the only thing I'm going to set myself up for is disappointment. Yeah, right, if I have to say friendships at this stage of life, man, should be easy. You should just be adding value. Whether we get money together, we traveling, our families is interacting, you're bringing positive energy and you're a champion for me. If you're not a champion for me to win and I'm not being a champion for you to win, then I don't see a defeat to the purpose of us taking up each other's time and space. It's a waste of time, yeah there's no need for it.

Speaker 1:

It's just like if you're in a relationship, you're a burden on your partner. What are you there for? And it's the same thing as friends. It's like I don't. I don't need to go backwards because I'm going forward. I don't need to cater to your feelings. That's like how my brother was talking his trash. I'm not here to pat you on your shoulders saying everything gonna be alright. Man, you pay those therapists, the ones who got you in the middle, sitting them chairs and with the with the white see, but no, but you see, it depends.

Speaker 3:

You see, you have, you guys have a cross to bear right now. You, when you work through that and get a resolution because you just contradicted what I just said a friend should be the one that pat you on the shoulder and tell you everything is going to be all right. But it's hard to do that when there's conflict, existing conflict you understand.

Speaker 3:

So that's what I'm so. So you guys may be right to filter each other out of each other's lives for now, until the conflict is resolved, because that's what's so dangerous about having a friend that you have conflict and still treating it like it's still a friendship, because what ends up happening is that energy that you guys will have towards each other. Nobody's going to win, because you're going to have a dark cloud in your circle that you're still embracing with a beard across, and that's a dangerous relationship to be in, because you could do a lot of detriment to each other. So you need to just filter it out. It doesn't even have to be forever, like some of the people, some of the things and some of the experiences that I realized too. You don't have to get rid of someone forever. It's just like when a relationship ends. It's similar things.

Speaker 3:

The platonic relationships and friendships and the intimate relationships are similar on certain levels, because when a relationship ends, there's a storm, right. But if you had a sound foundation with the person you ended that relationship with at some point, the storm will cease, right, and then you could get back to the foundation of the friendship you had, if you're smart, or the relationship. So then you're going to want each other to win. So it could be for a time that you put a pause on that relationship or that friendship until the conflict is resolved, when that conflict is resolved and everybody is taking accountability for their. See, that's the thing. Not one person needs to take accountability, because more than likely it's two to tango man. Yeah, with any friendship or relationship, it's important for each party to take accountability for their wrong.

Speaker 3:

They got to if they don't, then you're not going to get resolution and that's the thing.

Speaker 1:

When they's the thing, when the levels of accountability, when this level is on 10, and then this person say no, I'm only going to bring it up to three, they're not matching the same level of, okay, accountability. If it's a situation that happened, don't just point the finger and look at that person. Don't point the finger and say, hey, it's you, it's you, it's you, it's you, what about you? And that's the thing it's about when you start learning yourself and be like all right, okay, I'm walking these steps by myself and I got to realize who I am, and the only way to go forward is to know who you are and accountability is a strong thing that you need to have, be because you need to.

Speaker 3:

You need to have because it's like, but that takes humility. A lot of people don't have humility. They don't with accountability. There's humility, right. So if that relationship is that important to you, right, and you're the one that has humility, then it's okay if you take the lead and show your accountability first. So, so, if I know I had wrong and we're not challenging who was more wrong If there's wrong enough wrong to go around and you're the one with humility and the relationship or not just a relationship the resolve, the resolution, is that important to you Because they could be determining factors there, like children, for instance.

Speaker 3:

Right, I'm going to tell you a scenario that happened to me and maybe this could help some men out there that might be going through a situation that's similar. So my oldest son's mother, her and I were good friends and we're great friends now we're family but we went through a serious rough patch and I wasn't taking accountability for my actions. I just wasn't at a mature enough level to understand. I understood what I did. I just didn't know how to get us to a point of regaining our friendship. There was a storm happening, the relationship was ended. The relationship ended to get us to a point of regaining our friendship. Right, there was a storm happening. The relationship was ended, the relationship ended and we were great friends prior to us being involved. And then the relationship ended and the friendship just wasn't there. And I knew it was there, I just couldn't see it. Right.

Speaker 3:

Right, right, I'm thinking to myself what can I do to get us back to a point where you know we're friends she's not stopping me from seeing my kid, none of that stuff but we're just not communicating like we used to, and I was just like man. I don't know what to do. So I sat in my bed. I laid in my bed one night and I was just like man. I don't know what to do. So I sat in my bed. I laid in my bed one night and I was just like yo. I don't know what it is, you know. Obviously, all the other things were I'm taking care of my kid. I'm seeing him financially.

Speaker 3:

I'm still, I'm doing all the things that's deemed, that's necessary to say, I'm a father and doing the best I can as a father and I'm involved in his life at this point always. But for some reason we just couldn't get back to that, that point of friendship. And then I laid in my bed and I was like yo, there has to be something I'm missing here. And then it came to me. Although we weren't together and we weren't rekindling that part of our relationship, I had to apologize to her. I had to be mad enough to apologize and absorb because I was already making a transition, and absorbed because I was already making a transition Me as a person, and how and where I was going. I was already transitioning and I was already maturing as a person. But that doesn't mean I didn't leave a path of destruction and I wasn't seeing that because I'm like we're not together. Whatever, it's cool. I see my kid. We say hi and bye, but we weren't treating each other what I was accustomed to. So what I had to do is I had to dig deep into myself. So then I went and I said can I talk to you? And we were at a point where she was just like, okay, what do you have to tell me? Like, just get your kid, and you know, and I was like, um, I need five, five, ten minutes of your time, just you and I. Let's take a walk outside, let me talk to you.

Speaker 3:

I took a walk in the park and I said I need to tell you something. First and foremost, I am sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't the man that I should have been for you. I'm sorry I wasn't mature enough to acknowledge it at the time. I apologize that you see my growth and I didn't grow that with you. You deserve this apology and I don't know if this is going to change things, but I need you to know that I'm sincerely sorry that I wasn't mature enough to handle the challenges that we were faced with. And after that, my relationship. You know what she turned and said to me. She said thank you, I've been waiting for this and our relationship just skyrocketed.

Speaker 1:

Nice, that's very nice, that's very nice.

Speaker 3:

But it takes humility, yeah, it takes an understanding. It takes self-growth before certain people get to that point. But some of our listeners out there hopefully that helps, especially men, because sometimes you know it takes longer for us to mature the accountability part. Yeah, man Say sorry man.

Speaker 3:

You'd be surprised how far this takes you, this takes you, and not just say it, mean it, mean it and also understand that sometimes that's what people man or woman that we've wronged some of our behaviors, and understand that that is probably the result as to where we are today with this person, it's okay to be, have humility and say yo listen, it's my bad. Don't just look for them to to say this is what they did wrong. But guess what? That might be a vessel. So to get the the resolution from them that you're looking for.

Speaker 1:

So, bro, let me ask you a question now. Say, you say sorry, right, because I went through this. You said sorry, okay, it was understood. You say sorry, but then, like years later, they still talk about it. They still talk about the situation, which the situation could be two-sided. But if you're the only one we're talking about accountability, say with friends and family, if you're the only one, it's not like, like some people say, say a situation happened, they'll, and you say sorry, but you're saying sorry for your role. You're saying sorry for your role, but then but they'll take it as you're saying sorry because you don't want to make it happen and then they get it misconstrued here Like hold on.

Speaker 1:

I went through a situation I said sorry for something and then years later they bring it to my attention. You're saying sorry because this is you. No, I'm saying sorry because my intentions and my results didn't add up. My intentions, I'm not wrong for the situations.

Speaker 1:

When does accountability come on the other side? Like my brother, he'll bring up some it's not only my brothers, my friends. It's like they go through certain things and they'll just find a reason to connect you to it or connect you to how they feel. Because I look at at like this if I'm loved by lots of people, lots and lots of people, I'm loved. But then certain people would have issues with me. Certain people can't say even adam, like he said, oh, you're the mayor of these flatbushes, you know I mean be funny saying certain things like that. But then how can you and and not only that, the community stuff that we do, you know he never done it, or people who have problems with they? They don't do, they don't care about people. So so now, if I would help a total stranger, why would I hurt a friend?

Speaker 1:

that's true why would I hurt a friend or a family member if I, if I would right after this intentionally?

Speaker 3:

intentionally no. You're saying why would you hurt a friend? But you can't hurt. We can't hurt right. And that's when that's when.

Speaker 1:

Sorry, that's when sorry what happened, because if I'm, I'm after we leave here, I'm gonna go help other kids right now for free, right? So then. But then now, why would I? Why, when I do say sorry for my whatever it is, you don't take it like that and understand that?

Speaker 3:

yeah, and it's I agree with you 100, because it's very difficult to be in the type of conversation and this goes back to what we were saying initially. This is the determining factor. If you, if you have a lopsided relationship with a family member or a mate, right, if you're taking accountability for your part in the deterioration of that relationship, whether friendship or intimate relationship and the other person is blind and don't see their position or their wrong in this relation, in that and why the relationship deteriorated, it's a hard pill to swallow. However, I'll say this when you do practice that humility and you go into it and you take your accountability, don't do it with the intention of getting a receipt, a confirmation from them on their accountability. You can't go into it because, once again, you got to manage your expectations. If you know, right, that's a lot to do with your sanity too, and how you and how you move in life mm-hmm it's important that you manage your expectations with your friends, with your family, with your spouse with

Speaker 3:

your mate. Managing your expectation allows you the opportunity to have control of a situation. If I go into a conversation and I don't manage my expectations on what you possibly will do, that can make me snap, because, if I'm like yo Mont, it was my fault. Man, I made a mistake. I shouldn't have did this and this, and that Even though you had a part in it. If I'm waiting, so what next, mont, and you say nothing? Where's the possibilities of what could have occurred here? That could get physical, right, right, that could get physical because I didn't manage my expectations. Yeah, manage your expectations. I was looking for you to meet me at a place, it's very true, and I didn't manage my expectations, right. If you don't manage your expectations, then the only thing that could follow is disappointment.

Speaker 1:

Right, but suppose you do manage your expectations, right? You put everything up front. You say what you say, you, you, you've said what you did and this is what you're taking accountability for, and you said it once. Does this conversation need to go forward? Should, should they keep living in the past? The person you were speaking?

Speaker 3:

no, that's when you're supposed to cut them off. You cut them off. That's what I'm saying. So you have this conversation. Shelf life expired. You know that this person you can't get resolved from because they're not taking accountability. They could be narcissistic, because that's narcissism to me If you're just like oh, thank you for saying sorry.

Speaker 3:

Okay that's enough. That's some of the traits of narcissism. Right, I'm meeting you halfway. I'm telling you where I wronged you. If you tell me that you could take accountability for your part in this, then we can go forward and we could dissect the things that may have troubled us both and save this relationship. But if you don't partake in your part and you just ignoring the obvious, then now I have to eliminate you out of my life. So question that's how I got to do it?

Speaker 1:

Should you ask them? Hey, listen, I said what I said. Should you ask them to take? Are you going to take accountability?

Speaker 3:

So this might be a good way of how you get them to open up. After you say what you say and they don't say anything, you don't respond negatively because at the end of the day, you want some, some, some resolve. I'm not saying that you, you, you also have to come to grips with the fact Once again is this person adding value right to my life? If I just want resolution because I just don't want a dark cloud, that's one thing. But if you manage not just your expectations but you manage a relationship with them, because at the end of the day, at this stage of life, like, I had this conversation maybe a year ago or so with someone and I was like yo, yo, I don't even let people know I'm pissed off with them, no more, because what do I gain from that? But somebody hating me, right, I have to manage how I maneuver now with that person.

Speaker 3:

Facts when I was younger, you would know when I'm pissed off at you I'm not going to tell you right, so you could be in your, in your house or wherever, throwing ob on me or doing you don't need to know none of that. I don't let nobody know, they mad. Oh, they tell me something crazy. Oh, yo chill Drinks on me. I'm not going to tell you.

Speaker 3:

I'm not telling people unless I have to deal with you. But other than that, I'm not alerting you that I'm not fucking with you no more. How do I win? By letting you know I'm pissed off with you. So I could be walking down a dark alley somewhere and I get stabbed and no one know who did it. I'm not telling nobody that I'm mad at them at all.

Speaker 1:

Listen, I'm done with that. You'll get the memo.

Speaker 3:

You won't know. You know how. You know how I'm done with that. You'll get the memo. You won't know. You know how. You know how I maneuver.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, now it's left up to you to be like yo, this dude, he acting funny with me. And then they'll ask me I'm not, we cool. They don't know that I already cut him off, right, they already know. They don't know.

Speaker 3:

There's no need for them to know, because you don't need that looking to get resolved from somebody that's going to be a part of your life, whether you like it or not, someone like a family member you could regulate how much time you spend with the person or whatever, but at the end of the day, that's your family, right, and you do want someone resolved because it's kind of unsettling to you, especially when someone is that close, like a brother, a sister, because I think those kind of relationships, of relationships, man, you could limit your interactions, but it transcends, it goes above you, right.

Speaker 3:

So if you have someone that close to you, right, and they're celebrating a mutual nephew or a close cousin, you, there's a divide there. I had something like that happen to me, where it's like nobody wants you to choose sides, like I'd rather have the resolution and we don't have to be besties, but we could be cordial to each other. But to say that they're adversary now, I think that's a little bit too much. So in those kinds of situations I'd rather have the resolve, even though the nature of the relationship has changed. We don't have to be as close, we don't have to be best friends, but we could be cordial and we could say hello and see each other at events and it not be no hate filled room. So those kinds of relationships, you want some resolve and if that relationship is that important and the parties are mature enough, there can be a resolution okay, having some sort of resolution here.

Speaker 1:

Now I'm gonna ask you a question. You have two older brothers, right? Yeah now can you be cool with your brother if he never checks for your kids Ever?

Speaker 3:

Your question. You said to me Now I understand how difficult that. Is Right, I understand that completely Because it's happened with me. Right, honestly, I can say it's happened with me. Um, but to piggyback on what we discussed, man and I had to learn that too, we got to manage our expectations, manage people. You got to manage your expectations of people, because if we don't manage our expectations on how we expect people to respond and what we want them to do, we're going to be disappointed.

Speaker 1:

Disappointed time and time again.

Speaker 3:

Because, bro, I had this conversation with my wife. Let me tell you what happened with me and my wife and this is some deep stuff here and it's along the same lines of managing expectations. We cannot put the onus on other people to act and to conduct themselves the way we conduct ourselves, and that's managing expectations. My wife is somebody who is very festive when it comes to holidays, birthdays. She celebrates her birthday for an entire month. Right, she celebrates me like that, and I'm not a person who does that for my birthday. I've had two birthday parties my entire life, when I was six and when I was 50, that was it.

Speaker 3:

I'm not a birthday. I celebrate my birthday in a different way, like traveling and doing things on my birthday, but I'm not a party guy. I always felt and that's my personal whatever it was derived from and maybe derived from my childhood, I don't know where it was derived from I view birthday parties, as for me, is celebrating myself, right, and I'm not really big on celebrating myself. I kind of feel like it's a vanity thing and it's not saying that I'm not vain in my own ways, it's just the birthday thing. I don't celebrate birthdays to that degree, right, right. As for party purposes. Understand, like everybody. Oh, scream for lamb. Like I'm not, I'm not on that, I'd rather be like yo.

Speaker 1:

Let's all go to Mexico or Trini or Columbia or wherever we take a trip, so we feel like it's everybody's party.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I'm more about it being everybody's party.

Speaker 1:

Now shine a light on them and all that hey you should join yourself that time, yeah, but Downtown Brooklyn, we had a party for you, surprise party for you, yeah but that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 3:

That was enjoyable for me then for that party, right, but I'm not somebody who normally celebrates that. We told them I'm a 50th. Yeah, okay, we can do that for that, but I'm not somebody every year. So I'm saying that to say when people, I'm pointing this out with her and it's not her fault, it's just how we all think, right, she's very festive. All think, right, she's very festive.

Speaker 3:

So when it came time for her birthday one year, I did what I thought was a significant amount, right, so I celebrated that one, two, two days, three days or whatever. But she's so festive that she was almost like disappointed that you didn't do as much, yeah, so I had to have a real conversation. It's not her fault, but she doesn't manage her expectations now after. So I'm gonna finish it up. So she was disappointed. I was like, hold on for a second. I think I had literally two to three parties for her. Like we had a party out of the country, a small party out of the country, a small party out of the country, a party here and a dinner, and it was like, ok, we did all those things. Now let's have a private dinner, me and you, where you celebrate me again. Shucks, she's just one of those people. There's people I know, people like that, some of my boys is like that too, some people I know.

Speaker 3:

So she almost had disappointment. So then I had to have a real conversation with her and I was like, listen, you know, I was a little perturbed by it. I was like what kind of shit is this Right? And then I had to dissect and I was like hold on, I got it now. So I sat her down.

Speaker 3:

I was like, listen, this is what you like, this is your thing. Right, the celebration for your birthday is your thing. But you, because you love it and you enjoy it, you got to manage your expectations on how I'm going to do it for you. I'm not you Exactly. I'm never going to think as creative and festively like you. I've done, done something, but you may be disappointed because you're looking for this big, brave thing that you would do. So you got to manage your expectations. After that conversation, her perspective on things did change because she said to me you're absolutely right. She was like I didn't even think about it like that. And all of us, we have to manage our expectations, because a lot of us look for people to respond the way we would.

Speaker 3:

We would definitely definitely in a lot of different situations. Definitely, definitely. So that's why it's important for us to manage to manage our expectation, be like hold on, hold on. This person may never respond the way we will, and we got to manage the fact that that's possible. So we don't fly off the handle like yo, if it was me because that's what we're saying If it was me, I would have never done that, I would have checked for your kid, I would have came here. We cannot do that. Yeah, because some of these people don't have the capacity, and that's what I have said to her. I said yo, I just don't have the capacity to celebrate the way you celebrate. It's not in me, it's nothing against me. I hope you're not holding this against me, but you have to understand. I don't celebrate myself, so how am I going to celebrate?

Speaker 1:

you that way. And I'm me. Yeah, that's 100%, I agree with you. I agree with you. I agree with you Managing expectations is something that you definitely 2025.

Speaker 3:

That's what you got to do Manage your expectations. Yes.

Speaker 1:

And you know, don't put how you feel on somebody else.

Speaker 3:

Yes, or what you would do. You can't look for others to do or maneuver the way you would. Yeah, you have to allow them the space, right, and that's cool. But you could communicate that right, right, if we communicate that you manage your expectations and you realize organically this person is not going to do this, right, then you may be able to to say to them well, listen, I know you're not going to go and do this, but I'll be honest with you. I would really, it would really be appreciated if you know you develop a relationship with my, my kids. After all, this is your niece or your nephew or whatever. Like I said, I've been down that road as well.

Speaker 3:

Sometimes People, like we said earlier, sometimes people don't even know, like we said earlier, sometimes people don't even know that they're not doing something. Sometimes they're blind to it because they may not view it the same as you Like. For instance, you may be more involved with children, right, and now your sibling? You're like yo, you ain't even checking my kid. But they might be the type of people who don't even interact with children and don't care to. So you might be projecting onto them, like yo, why you ain't check for your niece or nephew and why you didn't do this. And they're like I don't even, I don't even rock with kids like that. If I see them, I get them a kiss and five dollars and I break out. But that's not you. So you have to really look at the full picture and be like, and if you're that bothered by it which I was bothered by it too, but then you have to manage your expectations.

Speaker 1:

Manage your expectations, man. That's a good way to so you don't piss yourself off.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, they sleeping good at night. You know when you're troubled, so you don't piss yourself off. Yeah, you know they sleeping good at night. You know, yeah, when you're troubled if you don't manage your expectations. You know who doesn't sleep good at night Us, yeah, because now we like yo. What's up with this guy man.

Speaker 1:

And he's like this hey, you know what I'm going to help manage my daughter's expectations on Santa.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I can't manage my son.

Speaker 1:

His fat self is not coming down the chimney. Oh yeah, you got to tell him it was you. It's me, of course, yes, of course this is what it is. No, you're not daddy. Oh yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

The expectations of this child?

Speaker 3:

That came out of my wallet yes. The expectations of this that came out of my wallet yes.

Speaker 1:

Santa didn't pay for that. It wasn't a ghost.

Speaker 3:

Santa didn't do nothing. It wasn't a ghost that paid for that Right.

Speaker 1:

So listen, this was a great great show, man, great great show. And you know this show the your Opinion Doesn't Matter podcast came from the your Opinion Doesn't Game man and you played it. You played it a couple times.

Speaker 3:

I'm going to give you the audience, a quick story about the game. So when he first developed this game, you know I loved it from the inception. But when my friend came to me with this game, I bought it from him. I didn't get it free, like some of you guys. I gave him the 20 for the game because if we don't support our friends, then how would they succeed? I hate when people even like my tax business. I have an income tax preparation business over 25 years and I've had people call me from tax offices asking me my advice because once again they're oblivious, that they're not even supporting you, right? So they're calling me to ask me how do I feel about something in another tax office? And they're giving.

Speaker 3:

It sounds like it sounds like hundred dollars an hour to me. That's what it sounds like right from me. I've had people leave tax offices and say yo, I'm bugging, I called you to ask you tax advice, yo, I'm gonna come see you right now. But they didn't even know what they were doing. They calling me from my office, that's how. But some the same two people I'm talking about came and supported my business. But it's important to support your friends because if we don't support our immediate friends and our immediate network, then how would you be successful? How many friends you have on Instagram, facebook, if you got a thousand friends, if everybody bought it is, is that less than 2% in the United?

Speaker 1:

States are African-American game creators. Yeah, 2%, 2%, and I'm part of the people that actually made one and it's like you know, it's, and you look at certain things that people would love to get free games. I would love to give you free games too, but like they need to support you. You need to support, you need I feel like we don't do a lot of support, man and you know and then it's important to do so.

Speaker 1:

It's definitely important to. It's definitely important to do so, but then again, the first people who will support you are the people who's not your friends, absolutely, absolutely.

Speaker 3:

Back to the. I'm going to pump this and I'm going to say how organically this game was a hit. I had the game in my house. I went on vacation. My daughter, my oldest child she at the time was like 21. She was in the apartment, just house sitting with her friends and at the time I had the game in the apartment, just house sitting with her friends. And at the time I had the game in the apartment and she said, dad, what game is that you had in the house there? I was playing it with my friends. It's incredible.

Speaker 3:

So I had a whole bunch of games at the time in my apartment at the time and she was like it's the one that is thought provoking. It had us debating. I was like you talking about your opinion doesn't matter. She said we love it. And these were young people. They were inspired by the game. She was like we played that game for four or five hours, just to give you a quick backdrop on how interesting the game is. And these are really intelligent young people. I credit her with the circle that she had. They were exceptionally intelligent kids and they really admired the game. And when I told her it was one of my closest friends that that made the game. She couldn't believe it. She was so in awe of how, the type of conversations it invoked and how much they got to flex their mental muscle. So please go out there and support this. You won't regret it. It's a great game, night game. You can have a few drinks. It might get intense, but but uh, it's definitely a great game.

Speaker 1:

So go out and support it for family and friends. Man, you can pick it up at wwwyodmcom and, hey, it's a great game for family and friends and this is the your opinion doesn't matter podcast very good. Show man excellent, very good show your man Excellent. Very good, show your expectations, manage your expectations, manage it, god dog it.

Speaker 3:

It'll only save you in the long run.

Speaker 1:

Save you in the long run. Hey, and if your brother's bringing you a place of? Unease. His shelf life expired man.

Speaker 3:

You kick him to the curb. Friends too Yo, I'm getting a phone call after this. Yo, your brother's gonna kill you. Yo, I'm getting a phone call after this your brother's going to kill you.

Speaker 1:

Alright, y'all, it's the your Opinion Doesn't Matter podcast and we are out Peace.