As the candles on the cake flicker for Sterling's 50th birthday, we sit together unpacking the layers of life that often go unspoken. Our conversation weaves through the joys and sorrows of hitting personal milestones, with Sterling divulging the poignant shift from child to caregiver as his parents age. The dialogue becomes an intimate mosaic of stories about the delicate dance of managing family, finances, and the ticking clock of business, resonating with anyone who's faced the tender role reversal with their own loved ones.
This episode isn't just a walk down memory lane; it's a deep reflection on the rugged terrain of life's journey. Together, Sterling and I grapple with the raw realities of loss and the sting of mortality, sharing tales that shaped our understanding of life's fleeting nature. We address the heavy cloak of grief that occasionally settles on our shoulders, the way it intertwines with our professional lives, and how we've learned to wade through the murky waters of emotional resilience—a topic that will leave you contemplating the depth of your own fortitude.
And as we chart the course of our personal victories, you'll hear us lay bare our battles with alcohol dependency. The triumphant moment Sterling decided to make a 2 year plan to become sober. We confront the challenges and celebrate the milestones, from weight loss to newfound clarity. This episode is a toast to the power of transformation and personal accountability, a testament to the strength found in vulnerability, and a nod to the continuous quest for growth. Join us on this heartfelt episode that's as much about honoring the past as it is about inspiring a future of deliberate and meaningful change.
As the candles on the cake flicker for Sterling's 50th birthday, we sit together unpacking the layers of life that often go unspoken. Our conversation weaves through the joys and sorrows of hitting personal milestones, with Sterling divulging the poignant shift from child to caregiver as his parents age. The dialogue becomes an intimate mosaic of stories about the delicate dance of managing family, finances, and the ticking clock of business, resonating with anyone who's faced the tender role reversal with their own loved ones.
This episode isn't just a walk down memory lane; it's a deep reflection on the rugged terrain of life's journey. Together, Sterling and I grapple with the raw realities of loss and the sting of mortality, sharing tales that shaped our understanding of life's fleeting nature. We address the heavy cloak of grief that occasionally settles on our shoulders, the way it intertwines with our professional lives, and how we've learned to wade through the murky waters of emotional resilience—a topic that will leave you contemplating the depth of your own fortitude.
And as we chart the course of our personal victories, you'll hear us lay bare our battles with alcohol dependency. The triumphant moment Sterling decided to make a 2 year plan to become sober. We confront the challenges and celebrate the milestones, from weight loss to newfound clarity. This episode is a toast to the power of transformation and personal accountability, a testament to the strength found in vulnerability, and a nod to the continuous quest for growth. Join us on this heartfelt episode that's as much about honoring the past as it is about inspiring a future of deliberate and meaningful change.
Welcome. Welcome to the your Opinion Doesn't Matter podcast. This number here, episode 80, special man. It's very special man. You know. Not only that, it's a great number, I got a good friend of mine you know who honored me, you know with partaking in this podcast life of mine.
Speaker 2:You know Sterling, I knew him for how many years we knew each other Got to be going on 30 plus years man 30 plus years man.
Speaker 1:How are you doing?
Speaker 2:man, I'm great man, I can't complain. God has blessed me and my family and I'm just. It's a pleasure to be here talking to you right now.
Speaker 1:That's what's up bro. That's what's up, bro, and yo listen you. There was a little celebration a couple weeks ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, man, I reached the benchmark of my bicentennial. I officially turned 50 a few weeks ago. Yeah, I'm at that point in my life where no more bullshit. But it's a blessing still, and I'm happy to reach that mark, because many people wasn't able to see this and I just take it as a blessing that's what's up.
Speaker 1:That's what's up, man. So, um, do you see? How do you look at life now? Like you, you know, you've seen things. We're not getting younger, we're getting older. The aches and pains is getting worse. You know, I'm saying definitely. What are we? What are we doing and what are we doing? What is our plans? I know you have a um, you have a son and a daughter. What's going? How's life? How's life treating you? How are you, um, preparing to stay for?
Speaker 2:them a little longer. Yeah uh, my plan has always been the same, is to live a righteous life and keep everything balanced along the lines of family, finances, business, things of that such. I just try to keep everything balanced because I believe life is a balance and too much of anything would tip the scale over. So therefore I try to keep everything on an even keel. If you understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:I do I understand? I understand that. I understand that Me and you was talking actually before the podcast and actually we spoke about certain things, probably a week or so, in regards to health, health and like, and you said something that was like you know, the statement is once a man, twice a child, and you know, and I'm like that is the truth. That is the truth. I mean, if people don't really understand, elaborate, what does that mean to you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, growing up I always heard the term people talk about my mother would say you know, you're once a man and twice a child and I didn't understand it. But now that I'm seeing my parents deteriorate and go into a childlike state physically and mentally, I I get it. Now, you, you understand, because of course, there was once a child I wasn't there to experience that, but I'm sure it actually happened and then it became this colossal, godlike people. You know, my father was Zeus and my mom was Apollonia, and now they're both in a state right now where they're deteriorating so much that you can't even believe that these people were so gigantic man, I remember my mom.
Speaker 1:She used to be able to, like, I'll go my mom's room. I say, mom, where's this or that? Oh, she'll be. Like she made another room, she back, oh it's over there under the bed. You know what I'm saying. And then for me to lose my mom. I lost my mom in 2016. You know, I mean, it's like she was going through that phase of, you know, breaking down, breaking down, breaking down, and you know it was rough. It was rough. The roughest time for me was when I graduated. I graduated Winthrop, and we had a ceremony over there by, I think, by Clare Barton, over there, that park, over there.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And she barely fell when she got out the car. So my mom, she had multiple sclerosis, Wow.
Speaker 2:I didn't even know that, yeah.
Speaker 1:So then it just started. It just started getting worse, started getting worse. But then it's like, wow, I didn, and everything like that. And then now, when I went away to college, I came home on Thanksgiving break, mind you, I was there. When you're a freshman you could go in early to the school, like you go in as an August. So I was out of Brooklyn, I was in Florida, orlando, florida, and I went there. Now, you know, now I come back to visit my mom's is she's eating, and you know, out of a straw, drinking out of a straw, and that shit crushed me, kid, that was 1990, 90, 91. That shit crushed me, kid, that crushed me. And then you know, I wind up coming home, I wind up coming home, I wind up coming home. I came home right after that semester was over. I'm out. I had to be back here, you know for a while.
Speaker 2:Wow, I mean. First of all, let me give you the condolences of the loss of your mom.
Speaker 2:I know this is a very emotional subject for you and I can see the emotion in you when you even speak about it, you know, and you know it's tough, man, man, it's really tough and before people used to talk about it and I didn't, really I couldn't relate. But now I'm actually going through the same thing. I mean not the same thing, exactly different scenario, but my mom is actually going through. I mean, I hate saying it, but she's going through the first stages of Alzheimer's and now she's beginning her short term, memory is beginning to be shot and you know she keeps repeating the same things over and over again and you know you have to be really patient. But at the same time you try to look at her and see the same person that was there during the good times. You know you try to fool yourself, but then the reality comes in and you realize she's no longer that person and she'll no longer be that person.
Speaker 2:But you know, as I try to give her the loyalty because she was there for me, she provided for me, she was my sanctuary, she was my hero. So therefore I give her that loyalty whenever she needs me, I'm going to be there, you know, but it's really tough seeing her. You know the things we take for granted, you know yeah, that's a fact the things we take for granted. And now, sometimes not in front of her, not in front of my wife, not in front of my kids, I think about it and a tear comes to my eye, you know, because life could be so joyous at certain times and at the opposite end, it could be so cruel. And sometimes I say what did I do to deserve to see my mom deteriorate at this level right now? And what could you do, man?
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, I mean, that's the harsh reality, man. It's a sad thing, man, I'm sorry to hear about what's going on with your mom and stuff like that, and it's like it's uh, it's more or less a reality. Come to us now. Like we, as we getting older, we seeing certain things that we was, we I don't say we, we took for granted, but we, we didn't, we didn't, we wasn't, we didn't know we didn't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, nobody prepared us no, yeah, we didn't know man. We didn't know man, we didn't know man. I was ice. When I was young I used to be scared of going to the hospital. My uncle was in the hospital. I never went, like Monty, why you didn't go? I'm like, no, I don't care. My family understands that I got some things with hospitals and it's just what's going on right now. Um, as far as I just came from the, my homeboy had a situation. My homeboy passed away he had a.
Speaker 2:We had a barbecue for him, nigel, and then god bless nigel. I knew him very well. He's a good brother. God bless his soul. There are very few people like him and my condolences goes out to his family yeah, same here.
Speaker 1:And um right, I was speaking to my homegirl who lives like right around the corner from him. She was going to go to the. She was wondering if I was going. I said yeah, I'm going. And she says yeah. She said I can't go because my father got the same thing he has, like he had like stomach cancer or something along the lines. I don't want to be wrong. And then what wound up happening? Her father passed away two days after. That's terrible man. Two days after he was going to go to wake. Her father passed two days after. And then now let me tell you how things were so depressing for me.
Speaker 1:A guy last year he got me into two schools to teach. I was teaching chess. I was an activity specialist for two schools. I was teaching chess. I was teaching basketball. I did the trifecta. I was in a charter school. I was the trifecta. I was in a charter school. I was in a private school and I was in a public school Same time. And it was because of him.
Speaker 1:And what happened was that me being? I'm going to tell you something. There's certain things I learned about me going through all of this. I'm going to go back to what I was saying. Of course, I said I tried to reach out to him, right? Because I had another situation where I needed paperwork to show okay, what day, when did I start? When did I start working there? And I'm like, you know, I would text him and he didn't text me back and this was um early february. So me me being who, I think I am like yo, what's wrong with this guy, you know, I mean why he's not texting me back, you know, or something, and that was week one, and then I skip a week. Now I know week two, I text him again and then I even called him. I left him. I said, um, you know, you can hit me back and now. And now here's the thing about saying why this is me saying, why is this guy not calling me back?
Speaker 2:And you probably jumped to the wrong conclusion automatically.
Speaker 1:So now I get a text early March from that phone number. He said, oh, you know, I didn't know him. He used to go through my son's phone but he's been in the hospital since January 8th and me being I don't know me, being selfish, saying why he's when he's there fighting for his life. And you know what, when she messaged me back in early March, he passed away late March. He just passed away and me saying this thing why, why, why he didn't call me back. Like why is this? Why is that? I learned something. I learned that I learned that, listen, you can't be selfish. You can't just say like who am I? I'm just supposed to be this guy. Yo, why is this guy not calling me? Maybe he got other pressing issues. Why he didn't text me? Maybe he got other things going on which he did, or anybody.
Speaker 2:You understand what I'm saying. Yeah, but, man, that's why life is a learning experience and before this happened, you never had the prior experience to think that something like that might have been going on. But now, due to this experience, you get a better understanding and, like I said, nobody prepared us for this part of life, what I'm going through now. I remember my homeboy one of my first homeboys Eddie. He died when we was in our early 30s. Everybody was shocked. It was a big shock. We survived it, but nobody told us when we get to the late 40s, 50s, people are going to be passing left and right. It's traumatizing, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's very traumatizing, and sometimes we have to desensitize ourselves to this, because if you sit down and think about things like this, you will lose your freaking mind. We losing people left and right, monty, especially at these times, and now I imagine what our parents have been going through.
Speaker 1:Well, think about it when we was younger, how much parties we was at. We was at shootouts separately. We was there. I know you was in the 90s there On a weekly basis.
Speaker 1:And back then we was worrying about, we basically wasn't worrying. The only thing that really could have happened to us was just getting shot, getting stabbed or something like that. But then now, as we get older, the risk factors are kind of lower. In a way. It depends Not risk factors, meaning the probability If you're taking care of yourself, you're doing things right, but who knows? But it's like we're still in that type of a jungle to me in a sense, like we got to now. Instead of bullets, we ducking, we ducking high blood pressure.
Speaker 2:Health-wise. We ducking blood clots in the legs and, like me, I had blood clots in both of my both of my lungs wow, I remember you just told me that I didn't even know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, and then, and the thing about this, mine is after surgery. My fiancee had the same thing in her her lungs for one of them and she didn't do no surgeries, her standing around working, wow, yeah, so, yeah. So it's like you know, we we still fight in the same fight, but right now we're more conscious of what's going on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we fight the same war, different battles.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you understand what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Now the battles is not really out there on the streets anymore, it's within yourself. Yeah, basically.
Speaker 1:You understand, watching what you eat, that's far.
Speaker 2:Yeah, nutrition, exercise, mental stability. You know Mental health is big. You know there's a lot of people out there suffering mentally and they come out and they look like you think everything is good with them. They're smiling and they're joking and they're socially fit. But when they go home at night they're secretly fighting a war that we don't know about and they're crying themselves to sleep, hoping that life gives them a break or they're ready to give up Definitely. And you never know. When you look at the average person and he looks like a million bucks, you might even envy them, but you never know what kind of demons they're fighting inside.
Speaker 2:Never know, bro, never know, and the happiest guy in the world could be the most broken spirit in the world when he's by himself. And I noticed that a lot of people that go through mental health issues are social butterflies. They're the life of the party, the guy that everybody loves, and they say, oh, this is the greatest guy in the world. And he portrays that out in the open because that's his defense mechanism to keep you from knowing what's really going on.
Speaker 2:But then later on, when the party's over and the lights are cut and he's back home by himself, he's slowly suffering and we never know, until the day we hear and we're all in complete shock yeah yeah, and, and you know, sometimes you look back, the clues were there, but you never even paid any attention to it.
Speaker 1:You know facts facts and you know what I hear, another another, um, another thing that happened. I went to the park the other day, like last year. I went to the park with my daughter and, um, my daughter's five, and there there was this kid that was probably like 11. But he was like a brolic-looking kid and he was extra, but then he wanted to play with my daughter. There was only two in the park. I'm like he's too, my daughter. She likes to play, she wants to play, of course kids do.
Speaker 1:I said Mecca, he's too big, he's too rough. So now the mother, she's sitting on the bench over here. I told my daughter to go that way. The boy leaves from where he's at and goes to where she's at to play. Now the mother says to me don't worry, my son loves little kids. Don't worry, it's okay, he's all right, but he's just. You know, he was actually slow. I don't want to call the word slow. I'm sorry. I don't know the exact term of this. This kid I think he had, I think he was suffering for, um, autism, yeah, it might be. It might be autism yeah and um.
Speaker 1:So now she's telling me she's. I said okay, yeah, she could play with him. So now she's telling me she's talking west indian lady. She starts telling me about um.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when you say when you say West Indian, what do you mean exactly?
Speaker 1:She's a West Indian woman, meaning that I could tell, because in the area that I was in there's a lot of real like Americans. Okay, so I could just tell by her accent.
Speaker 2:She was like Jamaican or something, Okay all right, yeah.
Speaker 1:So then now she'd be talking and she started talking about a little bit of herself and she just came from Arizona. I said, oh, okay, nice. She said yeah, because her son, her son last year, the year before, two years before, committed suicide. He was 18 years old smiled a lot. This, that and the third you wouldn't think nothing's wrong. He put rocks in his book bag and he drowned in a pond. He drowned in a pond not too far from where they live, but the thing about it is he was getting ready to go to college, not trying to figure out where he's going to go and you thought he was in the best place in his life and everybody thought it, yeah, and he had a bright future he had a recruiter come check for him for the Army or something like that.
Speaker 1:So she was trying to reach out for him for two weeks she thought that he just went and left Wound up. She found out two weeks later that her son drowned right up a couple blocks from her in the pond.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I could understand. And, to be real, I think everybody at some point in their life contemplates suicide when things are going bad. I'm not going to lie, I did when I was younger. But I think, being from our generation, yeah, at some point, even if you're just trying to be, if you're trying to get back at your parents, you'd be like, oh, let me kill myself with them, my parents, you know they'll be sorry for me, but I did contemplate suicide, but nothing seriously. Or they'll be sorry for me, but I did contemplate suicide, but nothing seriously. But I think we come from a stronger generation where we was raised by stronger parents and we were more soldier-like, we was brave. But these kids now they're so fragile, yeah, and even though I contemplated at times, I never seriously thought, I never made the attempt. I just wanted to get back in my parents' house. I'd be like, okay, okay, you don't want me to, let me go there. So I said, what if you come and you find me dead?
Speaker 1:Yeah, then now you'll be sorry, I never said nothing like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, maybe I'm a little off. Back to the subject. I'm saying like, and emotionally we was way strong. Think about how our parents used to talk to us back in the days, especially coming from West End and household. My mother used to say things boy, why you ain't going dead somewhere.
Speaker 1:My father used to tell me why don't you go back to jail? You know, I did one day in jail.
Speaker 2:He acted like I did. A lifetime. My father used to tell me yeah, you're going to end up in jail, and you know, we took that and, instead of making us bring us down, we built from that and became stronger and more resilient. But these kids right now you say these things to them they are so fragile and they're so easily broken that they might do anything. So therefore, now the whole philosophy of how we deal with kids is completely different.
Speaker 1:I remember when my father beat my ass one time, no, twice. When I actually like when I got to elementary, I said from that day that he's never going to beat me again.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Not by me physically imposing my will, because I was a little kid.
Speaker 2:You didn't want to do anything. Holy right I was set straight.
Speaker 1:I said that ass-whipping did not feel right. No more, it's not happening.
Speaker 2:I mean it's obvious to say that the youth now are different from the youth we was growing up with. I mean we was talking about this before we actually got on there and we were saying, like, if you compare the kids now to when we grew up, we had the respect factor. So, to the point where we've seen adults, we might have been out doing our bullshit, messing around, cursing, whatever, but as soon as we see an adult present, somebody will say, hey, relax, here, come, mrs Smith. And then we'll all stop and we'll say how you doing, mrs Smith, and she'll say, hi, boys. And then she'll go home and she'll be like I like them, boys, they're such nice boys.
Speaker 2:But now these kids, they're uncouth and they don't care if they see an adult coming by and they'll start cursing more and being more disrespectful because they like that attention. And the point I'm coming to I think the cause of all of this is remember when we was growing up and we were have-nots and we didn't have certain things, and we said to ourselves you know what? I'm going to do my best to make sure my kids don't go through what I have to go through. And I think that was the biggest mistake we made right there, because with the not having, with the suffering, with the persevering, brings the character and the appreciation of things that we did not have, so that we hold things more sacred to ourselves now. So now, these kids, they grew up, they never suffered, they never persevered, they never had not. So therefore, everything is like a joke to them, everything's easy.
Speaker 1:They take nothing seriously if you understand what I'm saying. No, I do understand, I do understand, I do understand, and it's a different time, man, it's a different time. These kids now, man, it's like I don't know man, I don't know man, it's like the lack of respect is big time for the lack of respect.
Speaker 2:The whole system is against you everything's for the kids.
Speaker 1:You know, yeah, you can't, you can't.
Speaker 2:You know you can't, you can't win yeah, they empower the kids, but by empowering the kids they guarantee the fall of our nation, I believe you understand manhood manhood in general manhood and it's like there's no, there's no written rule of manhood.
Speaker 1:No more out there well, you know manhood.
Speaker 2:There's a broad definition of man that's another subject.
Speaker 1:you know it's a very sensitive subject now that right right, right, right, right, it's a very sensitive subject now that you got to be very careful when you get into.
Speaker 2:Oh, you're talking about with the pronouns. You know that's another subject I deal with now. Working in a high school, you, he, but she wants to be called she, please, and we have to remember all these things and it can be difficult at times.
Speaker 1:I'll just call you by your name.
Speaker 2:I ain't calling you by no, she yeah, but if you don't know, sometimes you make a mistake and if I don't know he or she gets upset and makes a complaint, you could be reprimanded.
Speaker 1:And it's a very slippery slope right now. You got to follow those rules, okay, okay, okay, yeah it's a different world.
Speaker 2:The world has transitioned. It's not the world we lived in before.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let's get into sports. Man, I knew that was coming.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's get into sports man, I knew that was coming.
Speaker 1:Let's get into sports. You see I'm repping the New York Knicks over here. Our guys is doing work. Yeah, Our guys is doing work, man. What's your thoughts on the Knicks, man?
Speaker 2:The Knicks, I'm actually a fan now. I never thought I would have said that before because you know, came up in the, you know, the late 80s and 90s, the, the Michael Jordan or Patrick Ewan era, and I was a Nick hater for years because you know, mj was my man and to this day I believe he used to go to basketball and that my opinion could not be swayed by anybody, including LeBron fans.
Speaker 1:but to go right on, right, okay, so we, I really, I really wanted to go there because I see you. I see you, man, you are like a, you are the anti LeBron guy and you are like the real anti guy.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't say anti LeBron, I would just say pro Jordan. That's my description of it. Uh, I'll tell you why. I think most LeBron fans are from the demographics of maybe 30 years and younger, and I don't think a lot of them experience seeing Mike play. Now, lebron is a unique specimen and he is unbelievable. He has cat-like speed. He jumps out of the gym. He has cat-like speed. He jumps out the gym, he has a high basketball IQ and he's a really he's a once-in-a-lifetime player. I understand that he is great, but you cannot compare LeBron to Mike because, unless you've seen Mike play, lebron is good, mike was unbelievable Mike was unbelievable.
Speaker 2:Mike was breathtaking. You've seen Mike do things with the ball that you didn't even think was believable. You understand what I'm saying. Air Jordan, he transformed the game, made it go global. When you know, magic Johnson and Larry Bird was holding it down, four up and then Mike came and he took it to another level. Now my whole thing with LeBron is he's good, he's great, but he likes playing with too many superstars. He jumps ships too much and he lost how many final appearances. I believe.
Speaker 1:You know the exact stats, you know.
Speaker 2:I believe, six, ten final experiences.
Speaker 1:He lost ten times in the finals. No no.
Speaker 2:He was in the finals ten times, won four times, lost six times. So to me, in order for you to beat a GOAT, you cannot have more losses on the big stage than wins. He had it ten times in the finals. Ten times, oh shit. Times in the finals 10 times, oh shit. I mean, don't quote me, we're going to do our research, but he's been there at least 10 times. Damn. Yes, six losses, four rings as opposed to MJ six final appearances, six wins. That percent, 1,000, hundred percent, a million percent, anywhere you put it, you understand.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean I saw a post on Facebook and they had some stats up there and you said yeah, but they forgot to mention the 400 games, extra games he played, or something.
Speaker 2:I mean it's like yes yes, it seems like the press have this. I think everybody, the press, the sports press, the new generation I think they're exhausted with Mike being the GOAT for so long.
Speaker 1:They're trying to have the baton pass.
Speaker 2:Yes, they want to push something forward. They want to push LeBron forward more, and there's a major push. But you know so. Therefore they come with these. You know, but you know so, therefore they come with these. You know, lebron just surpassed mj with most 30 30 point games. Mhm lebron has been in the league 20 years. Mj did this in 15 years. So therefore is it really accomplishment.
Speaker 2:Stat man, stat man you know what I'm saying. Basketball is my thing. You know, we go back to the basketball, dave. You know we love basketball Both of us, yeah, so you're speaking about the push.
Speaker 1:Now what about his son, bronny? Have you been following?
Speaker 2:him I've been. I mean to me I'm going to keep it 100. Bronny's trash to me, I'm going to keep it 100.
Speaker 1:Bronny's trash to me. Listen, you see what you say, right, I had a discussion with the homies. They'll name be nameless and you know them as well and I'm telling them right, I said yo because there was a game. He was at Siena. I mean enough respect to Bronny, james, bro, and I'm saying the hype is too much around the kid. Yes, and it's not wearing it, it's not wearing it.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, so let me tell you what happened. And there was a game he was a sophomore and LeBron came there. Drake came there Because Drake was dealing with the star, the star which was a senior. He was dealing with his mother yes so he had the game and I'm like they had the game, but I'm, but I'm seeing him play. He's coming off the bench.
Speaker 1:I'm telling the homies I say, yo, he's not that good man he's not that good all of this hype about LeBron James' son is that the whole gym was packed yes and so then I'm like you know what they say. They say your mom, you hating. They say you hate. And I say yeah, what are you talking about, bro? I said why? I said why can't I? Because then now they're saying I'm comparing me to him as a ball player. I'm like what?
Speaker 2:I'm glad you said that, because you know this. This, this term hating, has been blown. Yeah wait, whatever happened to constructive criticism? You cannot. You cannot give your opinion on anything if you don't agree with what the person think. They consider you hating. Like if, man, we're both going out and you come out with this outfit and you're like yo, you know how this outfit look and I know the outfit looks like it doesn't look good, and I say, man, that's a bullshit outfit change. You could say, oh, you're just hating on me, sterl, but why can't it be? I'm not hating on you, I'm just telling you how I feel.
Speaker 1:How I feel right, right, and that the and, and. It's weird, I'm telling you. It's weird, it's weird for you to um, for weird to hear that and the thing about you would people would only respect other people's opinion. You can't give your opinion.
Speaker 2:Because people are sensitive now and therefore, if you don't agree with what they're saying, they find this is their loophole to say something is wrong with you, you can't be right, right.
Speaker 1:And the thing about it is you said the same words. You said that he's trash. I said he's not that good. Yeah, I see there's so much people there. There's so much people that deserved more.
Speaker 2:He's taking somebody's spot. I said that you're saying ronnie james is taking somebody's.
Speaker 1:I said the same thing I said the same thing about that. He's taking somebody's spot on the all-american games. He's taking somebody's spot at um, that, the trojans team. I said the same exact thing and I'm making my point to. I'm making my point to my friends. I'm like yo listen, the, the, it is what it is. I'm not the only one that feels that way. Yes, so it shouldn't be.
Speaker 1:It should never be hate it shouldn't be hate, especially if you didn't follow. Especially I'm here, I'm talking to these guys that y'all don't even follow him, you don't. Yes, and I said that. They saying but listen, it's the fact that he's getting his attention, it's because of his father. I said, yes, that's it, and I say that he should he should take advantage of it. But it doesn't it doesn't mean it's going to equal up to the hype yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And when I say brownie's trash, when I I mean on on the nba division, one collegian level. I believe it's right. It's probably better than I ever was and I took basketball very seriously, you know it's probably better than we was, but on a collegian nba level and with the hype that he's going along with, being that his father is LeBron James and basically LeBron is carrying him with the James name, you understand, I just don't believe he's going to live up to the hype. I believe I watched him play, I observed his game. He's undersized, you understand. He's not.
Speaker 1:He's undersized, you understand. He's not. He's not outstanding in anything.
Speaker 2:He's not outstanding in anything. He's not. He doesn't have the explosive nephosis for it. He doesn't have the jumping ability. He's not a great shooter, he's a pretty good. He's all right defender, I think defending is the best aspect of this game right now, but that's not going to get you a starting spot on the NBA team.
Speaker 1:Yeah, at his height, he's fundamentally sound. He doesn't. I mean he shouldn't be taking this type of abuse, but this is for the people, that these are for the people who's saying that we can't have an opinion? Yes, what I'm saying is this he is a fundamentally sound kid.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And y'all need to give him a chance. These cameras need to get away from him. They need to stay away from him and let him, let him. Let him, let him get there, not to say he's not going to be good, he's going to be good, but and I want him to take advantage of of the nil deals, of course, and get like a two million in your bank account instead of dad's money. You take use that to your advantage, yeah, but then, but at the end of the day, listen, you put lipstick on a pig.
Speaker 2:It's still a pig yes, yes, yes, and you know we have to blame for all this. It's actually lebron james. Now I know it sounds like a spare cupade because I don't like, but lebron james actually came out a few months ago and he said brani can start on the lakers right now, and by him doing that he put a, said Bronny can start on the Lakers right now, and by him doing that he put an unfathomable amount of pressure on his son.
Speaker 1:A target, big-time target.
Speaker 2:Made him a big-time target. And when he's seen that, when LeBron noticed that Bronny wasn't making it on the mock drafts and all this pressure was on him, then he's like listen, you need to leave my kid alone and let him be a college kid. But, Brian, this is all your fault.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, you shouldn't have been going to all them games like that. You shouldn't have. You go to support your son, but you don't make the hype around him like this. Yes, the hype is, even though it's your son, you can't control it. They're going to be hype around him regardless, even if you showed up to the game. Yes, but I'm just saying it's exhausting. It's exhausting. You should have spoke out about it years ago.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:You should have spoke about it years ago and now, just like Jordan's son, yes, Jeffrey. Just like Jordan, you even know his name.
Speaker 2:Jeffrey Jordan. I'm a Jordan fanatic. Yeah, man.
Speaker 1:It's like the hype was around him too.
Speaker 2:Not as much as LeBron's.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because. Well, social media yeah, social media and Jordan wasn't playing at that time, yeah, so it's like it's a big difference. But yeah, he is really going through it and I don't know it's going to psychologically mess him up yes, now we're talking about mental health.
Speaker 2:It has to be affecting him mentally. Yeah, knowing that your father is a big, big star and you got big shoes to fill and you're trying and it's not working right now, it has to be taking a stole on him mentally yeah, yo listen it's.
Speaker 1:It's um, as I say, big shoes to fill man. It's like this it's rough just being who you are but then actually having a you're gonna give you the shadow of somebody else.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes, I'll give you an example. On a West Indian level, my father was an outstanding domino player and, from Grenada, caracal, one of the best. He was vicious, I'm not going to say world renowned, but very well known by the Caracal community.
Speaker 2:Big up to my country, caracal, where my parents are from, and his name was the Sheik. People feared him. He took the game seriously, so when it was time he tried to teach me to play this game. I didn't want anything to do with it. Ha ha, yeah, the pressure from him trying even to teach me and you know what Stinion meant. He was very harsh and he was screaming at me and he would yell at me you need to do this or you're not good enough. And through all of that I'm like you know what I'm done. I don't want anything to do with this and I chose a different path.
Speaker 1:I'm done, I'm done. I hear you, man. I hear you, man, it's kind of tough.
Speaker 2:I didn't really have a pressure, suffocating pressure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I didn't really have a pressure like that. I had my father. He wanted me to learn chess. He was playing chess and I learned it. I learned it and I wound up being better than him.
Speaker 2:It's funny you say that because I'm very interested. I never learned a game of chess. My brothers, they both are very good at it. They both are very good at it. I might be the only one that don't know how to play chess, but this is on my bucket list now. I need to learn to play chess and I need to be very good at it.
Speaker 2:Right, right right right, right, before we go any further, I'd just like to give you your flowers right now. Man, I knew you for a long time. You're an outstanding person, outstanding citizen and you're a trendsetter of sorts, because I remember you told me about a few years ago. You said Sterl, you know what? I don't drink anymore. And I'm like what do you mean? She's like Sterl, I stopped drinking. And I'm like Mont come on who you playing with.
Speaker 1:I knew.
Speaker 2:Mont for years and you know Mont, in more or less words, was known as a drinker. You know we hung out plenty of times. You know we would pregame, Pregame.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:We would pregame. By the time we'd get to the party, we was wet, we had a great time, and the cycle went on weekly for years and years and for you to say, nah, listen, I'm giving this up.
Speaker 2:I'm like I couldn't believe it. But after doing my research, you've been liquor free for quite a while now and you know, I want to commend you. That's a great accomplishment. Thank you, man. Thank you, and you motivated me and I want to do the same thing, but I'm um, I'm a victim of social drinking. Yeah, you understand, I've been a social drinker for many, many years and I have then I want to stop, but I just don't know how to go about it. But you definitely motivate me for me to take the first step in that direction.
Speaker 1:Right, thanks man. Thanks man. It was like a journey man. It was a journey man. I had to go through some things health-wise and I went to the doctor one day Actually, this month is going to be two years I didn't drink.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:So I went to the doctor two and a half years ago and I was at the highest weight ever. I was 240.
Speaker 2:All that sugar, the sugar 240.
Speaker 1:And I was like he says you got to do something. I said and I wound up speaking to my boy, pete.
Speaker 2:You know, pete of course I know pete shout out to pete.
Speaker 1:so he started telling me um, mind you, before that I was hearing about this thing, that his diet, he was on, so we're taking some suppression shots and stuff like that, like you know, drops. So I said yo, bro, what can I do? I said yo, I want to lose this weight. Man, I got to lose like 20 pounds, 30 pounds or whatever. He said yo, man, there's this diet here. But you got to be on point, you got to weigh your food, you got to do this, you got to do that. And I said yo, I'm on it. When I said yo, can I drink? Can I drink while I'm on? You want to drink Just a little bit? He said clear liquor. But but, ma, you shouldn't drink. Though you shouldn't drink and the the. I think the process was six or eight weeks.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I said okay. He said but if you're going to do it, but you shouldn't. So I got two weeks in and I said you know what? So, three weeks in, I'm following the thing. I see in progress. I'm losing weight. I said because I stopped. I said I didn't, I'm not drinking. For two weeks. I said I'm going to start drinking again. And then by the third week I said fuck it, I'm done. I'm done drinking. Wow by the time I got off that. Um that diet I lost like 30 38 pounds bro that's, that's.
Speaker 2:That's awesome man 38 pounds man let me you. My problem is I have a social dependence on alcohol. Yeah, Meaning that whenever I go out to get-togethers, parties, things of the sort, I need to drink.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Therefore I am seriously uptight.
Speaker 1:Right, you could try it. You wouldn't need to be uptight if you're relaxed.
Speaker 2:I'm not a relaxed person. I've never been. I'm very shy. I've always been shy. I've always been a little uptight, I'm always very serious. So therefore, when I get in a social setting, I need a little edge.
Speaker 1:To be on point, I used to do that too. I used to have to drink just to go to the mall. All these people like social anxiety. I couldn't be around people, bro, I mean me. I'm like right now, like a lot of people would be shocked, like, say, I'm going somewhere with my fiancee and her friends like her cousins they'll be, shocked to see me talking now, because when I'm around them I don't talk. I don't talk to people, period. You know what I mean. I don't really talk.
Speaker 2:Likewise, when I'm sober, I really don't talk too much either. Again, there goes the social dependency. Now, when I'm around people, I don't really talk, but then I may have a few drinks and I'm talking up a storm.
Speaker 1:Right right, right, right right. So then, that's one of the problems. That's one of the problems, and another problem that I had with drinking is that there was always gray areas. There was gray areas when I'm dealing with people or certain things. It's like all right, I don't remember certain shit. Oh, mont's, this Mont was doing this. I'm like oh, mott said this. I'm like yo, no, it's no more gray area, there's none. I know what I say and this is what it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah and not too long ago I thought back. You know, sometimes you have what we call a drunk night. You know, you come home, you wake up the next day, then, maybe a month or two later, you know, somebody brings up that night and they tell you the things you did and you'd be like what are you talking about? Facts? And when you really think about it, I've been drinking for what? Easily 35 plus years, Right, Think about all these moments I've lost in my lifetime and my memory due to alcohol right, yeah when you really think about it.
Speaker 2:It's freaking sad. I would like to. I would like the moments back. You understand what I'm saying right right, right right. I mean, it's a double-edged sword at the same time, you know you're having fun, but you're, you're losing.
Speaker 2:You're losing out on mental, a lot of memories, whether it was good or bad, and, like you said, that gray area that bothers me now and that's part of the motivation that made me want to stop. Now I don't know if I could stop as fast as you. You understand what I'm saying, but I have a plan. It took time for me, I don't know. I see myself in a two-year plan. You know, sometimes we got to take baby steps. You know Liquor drinking. As for me I'm sure for you it's generational.
Speaker 1:I come from a generation of drinking. We got West Indy and Brevity. We got West Indy. You know what I'm saying. So it's like it's not easy. Yeah, this is the party.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my father was drinking from the time he was 12 years old. Right, right, right he put the drink in my hand when I was 12.
Speaker 1:Right, right, right, but I'm going to change the cycle.
Speaker 2:I'm going to put the drink in my son's hand.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah you know, yeah, and you're going to, you want to change, right, but then it's like, damn, my environment's the same. Yeah, how can I change if my? But you just got to have this thing inside of you, bro, like right now, since I've been going through all of this stuff with the funerals and stuff that I've been going through, and I got to go to this other guy's funeral on Thursday, I just fast, I'm coming off my fast today.
Speaker 2:Seven-day fast. That's awesome.
Speaker 1:Water, fruits and vegetables. That's awesome.
Speaker 2:Seven days. That's awesome, you know what I mean Cleaning.
Speaker 1:you got to you know you got to you start somewhere. But I think that you don't need a two-year plan, bro. You don't need a two-year plan, bro, or you could start.
Speaker 2:You know how you could start To me when you got the urge, drink wine, take it, take it, wean it down.
Speaker 1:You mean yeah, go from liquor to wine Dry.
Speaker 2:Dry yourself out.
Speaker 1:In a sense. I mean, I can't tell you how to do it because you're a drinker and I was a drinker. Nobody would have been able to tell me how to do it.
Speaker 2:Nobody. You would have told me 10 years ago man would not be drinking any alcohol at this point. I would have bet any amount of money in this world and I would have thought that would have been a guaranteed win. Right, you, you, you. I don't want to make you more than it is, but you really did your thing, man. I'm proud of you.
Speaker 1:Thank you, man. And I was one of the infamous drinkers. Infamous drinker, Infamous man.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I should say that, but you know, part of the play name was Drunk Mutt.
Speaker 1:Drunk Mutt, yeah he said yo that's Drunk Mutt. I was like that's Drunk Mott, I'm like damn.
Speaker 2:Drunk Mott. Damn, my name is getting tarnished out here. Somebody talk about who you mind.
Speaker 1:you talk about Yo Drunk Mott, oh yeah all right, my name is getting tarnished out there, boy. All that time got me to get where I was going. But yeah, man, I'm in a, you're in a better place. I'm in a better place. Man and um and I, I was it was it started getting bad? Because when you start to drink, you had a purpose. When I started drinking, my purpose was get drunk, go to parties, get on girls of course, I think that was everybody, everybody's plan.
Speaker 1:Get on girls but then now what I found myself doing, since I'm in a relationship, pardon me, I know where you're going.
Speaker 1:I don't have a, I don't need to go out and get no girls. I have one, yeah, but I I stopped socializing, but then I had a. I had a. I had my office I used to go to and I used to go get my supplies to go in my office. My supplies was a pint of vodka and four nips and I'm sitting in my car. My office is my car. I used to sit outside in the car and be like yo, I'm going to go to my office and I started me getting smashed when I'm inside them. You know, I'll do it around almost when they're about to go to sleep and then I'll go right back in and I'll go to bed, yeah. And then I felt that was not a good thing. Man, I used to have nips all over. My daughter would find a nip. I'd be like but it's closed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so what would you say you was drinking on a daily basis?
Speaker 1:No, I would drink probably like three, four times a week.
Speaker 2:Wow, three, four times. That was pretty bad. Yeah, I'm not even going to lie. I started drinking just because I thought it was manlike In my early teens. I see my father and all my uncles and I thought, in order to be a man, this is the thing you had to do. And then, once I started, I became dependent and I slowed down tremendously now to the point where you know, like I said, I'm a social drinker. When I'm going out, things are such. But if I'm in the house, sometimes if I'm in the house and I'm watching a game, I get a drink, a few beers, a few shots just to loosen up.
Speaker 1:But I realize at this point in my life.
Speaker 2:I really don't need this. It's detrimental to loosen up. But I realize at this point in my life I really don't need this. It's detrimental to my health. You know I could put my energy into something more progressive. So therefore, I just want to move into something more positive at this point in my life Right, so I'll challenge you, I'll challenge you, I'll challenge you, not this month. Yeah, not this month, not this month.
Speaker 1:No, challenge you. I'll challenge you, not this month. Yeah, not this month. Not this month. No, I'm gonna challenge you. I'll challenge you to go a month without drinking. I'll challenge you and you pick the month, whatever month it'll have to be a winter month no, we know we gotta pick it within the next four months.
Speaker 1:You pick it within the next four months. Pick a month and you can do it, bro. You're the type of guy that I know you, you know you grounded, and you know this won't be for me. This is for you, this is for you and you can do it bro.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I know I need to stop. And I talk about another aspect that people probably don't even talk about when it comes, and I don't mean to blight myself, but you know, when we drink we think we could drive.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah, I got it on my mind and I'm sure a lot of close calls man. I caught a DUI. And you know what, when I'm in DUI class, I had a class over at the Boutillery over downtown Brooklyn, over there. You know what the guy was saying. The guy I mean there was a bunch of people with DUIs he says, listen, 90% of y'all are going to be back. That's what he said in that class.
Speaker 2:Repeat offenders yeah.
Speaker 1:I said you got me effed up. I didn't tell him that, but in my mind I said I'm never coming back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I used to drink and drive over and over. Well, I think we all, I think we all, I think we're all over over 200 times I used to drink, I think. I think the the numbers higher than that for me too.
Speaker 1:Me too, I'm just I'm gonna say, yeah, I just wanted people to know how bad it was, how much times I was drinking and driving. But but, um, yeah, I made a, I made, I made that decision. That know, you could get locked up for, like say, you come home in an Uber and you was drunk and then you go to your car.
Speaker 2:Just to check something. Yeah, yeah, I know somebody that I happened to. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my brother called the DUI by sleeping in the car.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I heard cases like that. Yeah, and, like I said, when we're drunk we think we could drive. I was at the point where I actually think I drove better when I was drunk. But you know, my reality was distorted.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And I'm sure that I was driving way worse, but that was a way for making me feel like you know, continue driving drunk. You know, right right, fool myself, but I realize it's a problem.
Speaker 1:Right, right, but in your own time you're going to find, you're going to find. I tell you, the only reason I got out of it is because I was trying to lose weight. I said, listen, this is the perfect time. I used to, I used to, I used to like. I don't want to say I wish I used to be like yo. I want the tell me something like yo, you gotta stop drinking to force me. But it's, I think it's. I think it's probably best for you to surrender. Then they make you surrender because of health reasons, of course, of course, of course.
Speaker 2:When you think about it, that's absolutely true. I don't want the doctor to tell me you know you need to stop drinking now or you're gonna. I have a friend.
Speaker 2:I have a friend of mine who's been drinking for years. I didn't know how severe it was, I'm not going to bring up his name, it's not important, but he was drinking for years. We knew he drank. So recently he got into an accident and he woke up in a hospital. And then, when he woke up in a hospital, he's like what happened there was like he was in a major car accident and he was like the doctor said you drink, don't you? He's like, yeah, he's like, did you just try to stop? He tried to stop cold turkey. It didn't agree with his body. He had a seizure. The doctor says I said how long you been drinking? He said I ain't going to lie, I've been drinking at least a fifth every day, Damn, For the last 20 plus years.
Speaker 1:Every day.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So when he tried to go cold turkey, it sent a shock to his body, gave him a seizure, and the doctor actually told him you cannot stop drinking cold turkey, you have to wean yourself up slowly because your body is so dependent on you drinking for all these years Wow man and from that you know. I like to say I learned lessons from other people's mistakes and that just gave me a reality check.
Speaker 2:That hit me Right, you need to stop. That's saying you know, and I'm not judging him, you know, I'm not that bad. I'm not judging him. He probably had his own reasons why he did that. But that that's giving me motivation to want to stop so much that your body is dependent on it and if you try to stop, you get seizures. He never had seizures prior to that damn, it's like yo, man.
Speaker 1:It's like people depend like.
Speaker 2:Heroin addicts yeah, or sex addicts yeah, yeah, yeah, they're going to go into shock, yeah, yeah. And you know what? Sometimes we tend not to think, but alcohol is a drug.
Speaker 1:It's a hell of a drug man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a hell of a drug. It's a drug. Sugar is a drug.
Speaker 1:Salt is a drug. Too much of it is a drug.
Speaker 2:Too much of anything is bad for you, Mont, yeah man.
Speaker 1:And that's the truth, man, and you know I'm going to be with you as your journey.
Speaker 2:Yeah my sponsor. You can be my sponsor. Check out, bobby, I'll be your sponsor.
Speaker 1:I'll be your sponsor. Mont to sponsor. Right, the people are going to be like what Mont? Four people, how he going to sponsor what Facts? They're going to be like yo, what is this guy? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:But you know what happened. Being doing that we might motivate more people who want to do the same thing. Yeah, you understand.
Speaker 1:Follow us, like I said you inspire who?
Speaker 2:you motivated and I thought when I heard I called you a little while ago and I was like your mom, what up, blah, blah? And I said I always ask you, always ask him if I'm still I said you still have it.
Speaker 1:He's like nah, man, I was like wow, yeah, yeah, you saw me like a lot of times.
Speaker 2:Yo, mom, you still good, you still good, yeah, yeah, yeah of course, of course it's not easy. Yeah, it's not easy. It's not easy, man, if you did it.
Speaker 1:You can do it, I can do it. You can do it because hey, listen, because we got in it for the certain reasons yeah, to be social. We want to all.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and we're socially set. We have our family now.
Speaker 1:We got our family man.
Speaker 2:You understand, we have our family now.
Speaker 1:I ain't chasing trim like I used to be. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Likewise, likewise, you know, yeah, I'm saying. And we're not trying to impress anybody, or you know we don't need to be the life of the party anymore.
Speaker 1:You know we don't.
Speaker 2:We don't need all that shit. We're grown.
Speaker 1:Definitely, definitely, definitely In closing. You know we usually give, you know we say our parting words, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know well, my parting words is that, in time, in certain times in life, a change is inevitable. Of course, either you're going to make it on your own or you're going to be forced to make it.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:But to transition to our adulthood, we need to see signs and we need to take heed to certain things and we need to pay attention. Yes, pay attention and move. Feel the breeze and you move with it, before the storm come and sweep you off the floor and push you to where you was heading anyway.
Speaker 2:That's right. That's right. Life is about progressing, and as you get older, it's essential that you progress in life. Like a wise man always said, if you're doing the same thing now that you was doing 20 years ago, you haven't grown a bit.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And I've seen tremendous growth within you.
Speaker 1:You too, you too, my bro Likewise.
Speaker 2:And I think we've both grown on a positive level. And you know, I think in our future the sky's the limit. As long as we keep going in the right direction and taking accountability for what we do and we learn from our stakes and we're teaching our youth that's going up, you know the right way to live life. So again I like to give you flowers, mont, right now. Mont, I love everything you're going. I love the direction in life you're going. I love love that you become your own man. You made major decisions to change your life for the better and you know you are motivation to me and to people around me. My brother, ricky, really looks up to you too, and I just hope you keep doing what you're doing and keep motivating me and people around you. Thank you so much for inviting me to your platform. It was an honor to be here, to sit and speak with you and chop it up. You know, and I hope in the future you invite me and we'll have more talks of course I appreciate you, man.
Speaker 1:I want you to be a frequent flyer all right brother, always love, love, love this is the, your opinion doesn't matter.
Speaker 2:Podcast yeah, your opinion don't matter.