Your Opinion Doesn’t Matter Podcast

Unveiling Diddy: Power Struggles, Allegations, and Self-Preservation in the Music World

June 06, 2024 YODM Season 8 Episode 82
Unveiling Diddy: Power Struggles, Allegations, and Self-Preservation in the Music World
Your Opinion Doesn’t Matter Podcast
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Your Opinion Doesn’t Matter Podcast
Unveiling Diddy: Power Struggles, Allegations, and Self-Preservation in the Music World
Jun 06, 2024 Season 8 Episode 82
YODM

Is Sean "Diddy" Combs a music mogul or a controversial figure plagued by dark allegations? Join us as Lamont, Shaniqua, and Danny dissect the tumultuous history and recent accusations against Diddy, exploring the complex layers of his public and private life. With insights from TMZ investigations and a revealing documentary on Tubi, we delve into the testimonies of those who have spoken out, including Aubrey O'Day from Danity Kane. We also uncover disturbing rumors about his behavior dating back to his college years, with Nicole contributing her own perspective on Diddy's impactful yet controversial legacy.

Power, abuse, and learned behaviors in the entertainment industry are at the forefront of our discussion. We examine how Puff Daddy's arrogance and unchecked rise to power may have influenced his actions, impacting his children and raising questions about karma and accountability. The conversation reveals the multifaceted nature of Diddy as both a perpetrator and a victim of the industry's dark side, making it challenging to uncover the complete truth behind the allegations.

Our final chapters shift focus to the broader implications of domestic abuse and manipulation, drawing from personal stories that highlight the importance of courage, support networks, and timely intervention. We emphasize the critical role of self-preservation and the profound impact of toxic relationships on personal well-being and children. Listen in for an insightful and compelling discussion that not only scrutinizes Diddy's legacy but also underscores the significance of loving oneself and protecting one's peace amid the chaos of the entertainment industry.

Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Is Sean "Diddy" Combs a music mogul or a controversial figure plagued by dark allegations? Join us as Lamont, Shaniqua, and Danny dissect the tumultuous history and recent accusations against Diddy, exploring the complex layers of his public and private life. With insights from TMZ investigations and a revealing documentary on Tubi, we delve into the testimonies of those who have spoken out, including Aubrey O'Day from Danity Kane. We also uncover disturbing rumors about his behavior dating back to his college years, with Nicole contributing her own perspective on Diddy's impactful yet controversial legacy.

Power, abuse, and learned behaviors in the entertainment industry are at the forefront of our discussion. We examine how Puff Daddy's arrogance and unchecked rise to power may have influenced his actions, impacting his children and raising questions about karma and accountability. The conversation reveals the multifaceted nature of Diddy as both a perpetrator and a victim of the industry's dark side, making it challenging to uncover the complete truth behind the allegations.

Our final chapters shift focus to the broader implications of domestic abuse and manipulation, drawing from personal stories that highlight the importance of courage, support networks, and timely intervention. We emphasize the critical role of self-preservation and the profound impact of toxic relationships on personal well-being and children. Listen in for an insightful and compelling discussion that not only scrutinizes Diddy's legacy but also underscores the significance of loving oneself and protecting one's peace amid the chaos of the entertainment industry.

Speaker 1:

Welcome. Welcome to the your Opinion Doesn't Matter podcast. My name is Lamont and I am the host, and I'm here with some friends. That's going way, way way back, way back in the day. Shaniqua and Danny, how?

Speaker 2:

are y'all doing? We're doing good, good, good.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so we decided to do a Zoom podcast. I'm taking it back that's how I first started Because two of my peoples are out of state my boy, danny's in LA, and Shaniqua, you are in VA, right?

Speaker 2:

I'm in VA. Yes, I'm in DC. I'm in the DMV.

Speaker 1:

DMV, DMV. So, yes, we're about to jump right into the Diddy situation. So there's a lot going on and things are getting worse for this guy, you know.

Speaker 2:

Yes, more of R Kelly.

Speaker 1:

Yes, some people looked at him as a hero, but what's your thoughts on the situation?

Speaker 2:

The only way that the feds are doing this is that they know they have solid evidence against Diddy. That's the only way I believe that they know that they're doing this. Tmz. Has anyone had a chance to see TMZ investigators a?

Speaker 3:

chance to see TMZ investigators.

Speaker 2:

No, I put it on TMZ when they were raiding his house in LA. So on Tubi, you can look it up on Tubi. T-u-b-i. Tubi actually had a whole hour and eight minute segment about investigating the downfall. What is it called? It was called the downfall of Giddy Okay and they investigated Aubrey O'Day.

Speaker 1:

You know she was one of the members of Danity Kane.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, danity Kane, and you know, back in the day, with making the band, you know she was the main one that bucked up against Diddy because Diddy was, you know he was displaying some, you know, abusive, you know behavior towards them, you know, pretty much like on some house, negro field, negro stuff. Okay, so she really was the first to really speak out against him. No one else spoke out against him with, um, some of the um atrocious things that he was doing to his artists and to other people, and not to mention his lovers. Now everyone's coming out about when he was, when he went to Howard University, to HU. He only went for two years, he never graduated, but he got the nickname Puffy because he would lose his cool and be puffing all the time. Who wants to have a legacy like that? So I just think it's sad. I'm not going to be surprised if they reopen the case of Biggie Tupac and also, of course, his baby mother, kim Porter.

Speaker 1:

Kim Porter. So that's my take on that. What's your thoughts on that? Do you have any thoughts? I don't know. I'm speaking to Danny. Earlier he had an interesting perspective on the situation. It was.

Speaker 3:

I was talking about the Cassie portion. But I mean, I figured, if I want to start from the beginning, I wasn't there for none of it. But if he is this person, I don't think he was like that from the time he first started, cause, um, I mean, I don't know, I'm just speculating. We used to go to his club, remember, we used to go to the club over there. It was just like a bunch of people that met up at a warehouse type shit.

Speaker 3:

DJ everybody performing. I don't know if he was on like that then when he was just getting started, but I think, according to the environment he gets in, he's being taught. I think he had to go through the crazy shit he was doing too. To a certain extent. I think he had to go through the crazy shit he was doing too. To a certain extent. I think he was abused. He learned it from motherfuckers that probably abused him all these high execs, lucian Grange and all this crazy shit.

Speaker 3:

So he turns around because this is how he got put on. This is his welcoming for his artists now, because he figured you ain't earning it unless you go through this. And so people figure that the abuse he's putting on them is still better than the lies that they got to go back to Now. Don't get me wrong. This whole thing is destructive and sick in the head, but it comes from somewhere. It's a source of this and, like I said, I don't think he started out like this, but I think he evolved into something else. You know, the more, the bigger you get, it seems like you know, maybe the more crazy shit you try to get into.

Speaker 2:

Allegedly he was doing it in college. He was whooping on females in college Allegedly Females. You know people are coming out saying that you know he was wilding out and going crazy on, you know on on his significant other back then. So yeah, I agree, he has learned it. It is learned behavior from a child. It is learned behavior. You know the abuse. He was abused and then he became the abuser. Yes, I believe that.

Speaker 2:

I believe that what's that I don't believe it, when he got into the industry, he was already like that. He was already a monster. When he got into the industry, it just gave him a ticket to do whatever the hell he wanted to do, because we have money.

Speaker 1:

So he's a monster with money, a monster with money and power. Nicole, what's your thoughts?

Speaker 4:

Good evening everybody. I'm a late comer but I'm here. I'm joining in on the tail end of this Puffy P Diddy, sean Love Combs conversation and you know my take on things from just the little bit of following that I did on this entire case. I definitely believe, as the young man Danny was speaking, that it was probably done to him, and it may even go back a little further because a lot of these things are learned behaviors from home. So we don't know what his home life was like and he also went to his Catholic school so we don't even know what place at the school.

Speaker 4:

So, growing up and I do have some people that ran in the same circles and I remember a particular person that was in the business had uh called and they were on tour and this was, I mean, really early 90s and they were saying this guy, puffy, is so arrogant and egotistical it was sick and I was like geez, y'all on tour and somebody's acting up and behaving that way. You know, back then they should be grateful. You know this is a beautiful time to be a part of hip-hop, especially at the onset. You know the beginning of it and you know. So again, uh, I definitely think that he's not alone in this, um, this type of behavior, everybody who turned a blind eye to it I don't care about it being your job and whatever else You're just as guilty, you know, for seeing that and then watching what they had out there, all of the you know things that was said that he's done allegedly to everybody. It's just, it's just horrible. But I think that having a big ego and being able to abuse your position of power just created this monster and he took it to a whole new, different level and I think he actually got lost in it.

Speaker 4:

Because a lot of the times when people have positions of power and they have that stature that he has I mean from the music business to the closing business, to the restaurant business, to the uh, you know liquor business and just television, all of that you become numb to everything and you think you're invincible.

Speaker 4:

So you get away with so much, you continue this behavior and you continue doing these things and you never realize that everything comes to an end. So all of the behavior that you're doing and everything that you got away with, you will answer it is laws of the land and it is biblical Karma is a mother. So when you think you're going to sit up there and do things to people and get away with it. You might for a long time, but now I don't care what anybody says, and I know everybody on this line here actually had someone tell them back in the days or growing up oh, if you do something to somebody it might take 10 or 20 years, but you're going to get it back 2024, it might be the next day, that same afternoon, so all of these things that he is alleged to have done.

Speaker 4:

This is just payback time. Who I technically feel sorry for are his four daughters, because imagine even his sons, his sons, imagine having that label for a parent. Only God knows how he instilled fear in them or how he ran his household, because look at how he treated the mothers. I'm sorry, I'm really really sorry and I actually I do feel bad because I do believe that he's a victim himself.

Speaker 3:

He's just not coming forth with it Also also to be fair to him, though, just to keep the story equal, because we got to just operate off of just the truth the bag that was the reason why Cassie was being kicked in that video was because she was stealing his bag. It had money in it.

Speaker 4:

Well, that's why I said he's a victim also. We can't just. I mean said you know he's a victim also, we can't just I mean, you know, being a part of the media and everything else, the media is your gatekeeper, so they allow you to see what they want you to see and they put things out there, and I'm not taking sides or anything in particular with it.

Speaker 2:

We don't know the full story, they just put it out there, because if we watch it, you see, you know the little poofs of disappearing.

Speaker 4:

When he kicks her in the video at one point, the screen kind of gets fuzzy. So it's like did somebody alter this? You know, at the same time too and I'm not saying that it didn't happen however he's, he's a victim. I believe that also. I truly believe that he is a victim of the industry as well, but he just took it to a whole different level and unfortunately, we'll never know the entire truth on any on either side. It's just horrible that so many people are were abused. You know, allegedly and I say allegedly because I'm not, you know, saying it is true or it's not allegedly, allegedly, this is what's been out there that there are so many people involved and even down to him. What happened to him to become that person that we saw on the video? Those things that we hear about? What kind of family life did he have? Because me, I always go back to the source of the root of the problem. That stems from home. What did you see? What were you exposed to? So it's a tragedy, it really is.

Speaker 4:

And everybody that turned a blind eye. I'm sorry they're just as guilty. When they saw him and I'm not saying Cassie, anybody else he put his hands on Female and me in particular. This is my take on it for me, if you know, I'm just putting it out there If I was involved and he had a personal trainer for me, I'd ask that personal trainer on the side can you teach me the deadliest jiu-jitsu or something? So that way, when he goes to put his hands on me and everybody else sits with a blind eye, it's going to be a gladiator fight. I'm sorry he got all that money. We had trainers. Somebody's going to train me how to take his behind out Next time you look, y'all Be the gladiator battle.

Speaker 1:

You know what?

Speaker 4:

I would say it's terrible.

Speaker 1:

I saw a little deeper than that. One thing I saw was kind of gross me out. This is I saw a little deeper. I saw a little deeper than that. One thing I saw was kind of gross me out. Like this is an old video that came up and him and his mother was doing an interview and he's bigging his mother up, oh, talking highly of her, whatever, whatever. And then he's like right mom, right mom. She said I love you. He says I love you too. Then, you know, he looks at her and then he bends over and he kisses her in the lips Not a tongue, but he kisses her in the lips.

Speaker 1:

I'm like what is that?

Speaker 4:

That's a whole new topic by itself.

Speaker 1:

Anybody did it like this.

Speaker 3:

It's not like you did it like this.

Speaker 1:

He went in nice and slow. I'm like yo, what is that? That's disgusting, what the hell. I'll send you the video. I'm like yo, what is?

Speaker 2:

this my mama ain't never kissed any of my brothers in the lip, and I ain't never kissed my mama or my daddy in the lip. That's just nasty, I'm sorry.

Speaker 4:

I agree wholeheartedly with you, that's a big discussion by itself.

Speaker 1:

Right, that right. There is a sign. And he went in nice and slow, I'm like what.

Speaker 4:

Well, again, we don't know what happened at home, and that's a whole new topic by itself, because you have people that see no wrong. Well, this is my child. I can kiss him or her on the lips. Personally, I'm not having that. I remember my child was young and a family member. Her father and I were right there. One of the cousins from his side went to go and give my child a kiss. We both snatched him up on the lips, snatched him up real quick Like hello, what are you doing? We don't do that. And this is not your child. We don't even kiss our own child on the lips. So that's a problem right there. So again, it goes deeper.

Speaker 1:

It goes deeper, who knows I think it's heartbreaking heartbreaking.

Speaker 5:

I think also, not every person that's an abused that has been abused if, allegedly, he has becomes an abuser. So I think that's not. That's a blanket statement. So just because you are abused don't mean you become an abuser. I think Puffy is like the young lady has said.

Speaker 5:

I think everybody's a culprit. It should be more people on the news besides him. It should be everybody that was witnessing this. And this is some of the things that happen in everyday families where uncles, aunts, people are very much aware of what's going on and nobody says anything. People are very much aware of what's going on and nobody says anything. So I think I think it's a terrible thing but a good thing because it's shedding light to what people have been whispering about, that's going on in people's everyday lives all the time in their families, that we have to put a stop to. But if we continue to chase the fame and the money, you know, and that's why a lot of people were still connected to him, because they wanted that and and some of the things I'm confused about, because some of the men are like that, are accusing him I'm talking about the men part. They're like good and grown, like not a kid like. Couldn't you have said no?

Speaker 1:

so I'm kind of confused about that.

Speaker 5:

Like the producer guy, I'm like he, a good, grown-ass man. You can't be like, no, I you know. So I don't know. I'm kind of like. And then the cassie video they show some. I've seen something today where like two days later she was um, you don't want to write carpet or whatever. But people don't understand the domestic abuse doesn't mean because she was beat the next day that she was going to step off from poppy ever. It has to take something. That's a whole psychological thing. So it's not just as simple as just walk away. You know, whatever fear factors, an abuser is manipulating or an abuser uses manipulation and strong manipulation and they, you know, groom you so they can have those manipulation techniques work.

Speaker 5:

They are skilled, they are decisive, they are intentional, because they know what they want to do, which is abuse a victim. So I think it's a mental health issue for a lot of people, because watching it every day is really lowering my energy, so I try not to even watch so much of it as I was, I was kind of consumed with it and it just felt dark like, oh my gosh, what do you, what you, what?

Speaker 1:

you think is um, you think what you think is worse. Like I'm not gonna say worse, I'm sorry I ain't gonna say worse, but like somebody, you're going through that situation as a female with a broke guy, but you're still staying. But you're with a rich guy and you're still staying, like, and you're saying, like all the other people that's around this situation should be held accountable too, but they're staying. Like, say, the security guard's getting paid $500 a day for a couple hours. He's blind to the situation.

Speaker 5:

I think he need to go down too.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but it's the money, it's the money. And what do they say?

Speaker 5:

Money is the root to all evil the love of money, the love of money.

Speaker 1:

So what do y'all say about broke women, I mean broke guys beating on women, and women still stay.

Speaker 4:

It's like Nobody is excluded from that. Everybody should get it. Rich or poor, everybody should get it.

Speaker 1:

Everybody get it, everybody get it.

Speaker 2:

Sometimes it's a systematic thing. And let me tell you, just being a survivor of domestic abuse because I went through it with my daughter's father I did go back afterwards. He whooped the hell out of me when I was nine months pregnant and I kept it with my daughter's father. I did go back afterwards. He whooped the hell out of me when I was nine months pregnant and I kept it from my family. I never told my family. For one, I was scared. That's number one. I was very scared of him because he pulled the gun out on me before you know, prior to that.

Speaker 2:

And then, number two, I didn't believe in myself. I had low self-esteem. I didn't think that I was beautiful, even though I was a cute girl and I had guys that were attracted to me. I didn't have that self-worth. And then the third thing, let's take it spiritual. It's a soul tie. And that soul tie had told me that I was worthless, that I wasn't going to be anything if I left him, that I was going to be alone with raising my daughter. And so I stayed until the truth, until I evolved to the truth, until the truth hit me in the head and said girl, come on. And there was nobody but God. That saved me out of that, because I know, had I stayed, he would have killed me or I would have killed him, defended myself, and that was the bottom line.

Speaker 2:

What was the final straw? The final straw was when he tried to attack me again and I had to get strong and I had to build up confidence and I said, listen, you got to go. And I said if you put your hands on me, I'm not pregnant anymore. If you put your hands on me this time, you may whoop my ass, but I'm going to make you tired doing it. And one of us is coming out in a body bag and it was just, I was tired, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and I was holding a secret from my family that I was being abused by him because I didn't feel self-worth. So I had to develop that. And it was nobody but God. It's not about religion, it was nobody but God. That I just prayed that night and I said, God, you get me out of this and I promise to serve you. I've got to go because I knew this man was going to kill me or I was going to kill him.

Speaker 4:

Well, we just want to commend you for, you know, getting up that courage and trusting God to see you through this, because not many people, you know, have that tenacity and that drive. You know, sooner than later, you know, to make it and to actually be able to speak about it and be vocal. You know so we thank you for sharing that deep, dark secret with us, the listeners and anybody else that you've come across. And you know so, uh, we thank you for sharing that deep, dark secret with us, the listeners and anybody else that you've come across. And you know we just continue. You know we're afraid that you continue to be strong and be an advocate for that, because nobody knows what one's going through. Uh, you know, on either end, you know so what's worse?

Speaker 2:

emotional abuse or physical abuse?

Speaker 4:

they're both they're both horrible both horrible they both leave you scarred. There's this I mean emotional, physical, mental, even the soul tie. I mean that goes, that goes real deep. People say, oh, that's my soul mate. What's the difference between the soul tie and the soul mate?

Speaker 1:

what's the soul soul tie? What's a soul tie? I never heard of that one. What's a soul tie?

Speaker 4:

Well, that's an intimate thing, that's a whole new, different show when you go into the soul tie, soul tie.

Speaker 2:

Soul tie is when? Okay, first of all, we all know, we all know that we ain't supposed to be out here dipping and doing it without marriage.

Speaker 4:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

Okay, god designed, god designed marriage. Okay, I hear a lot of men and as a single woman, that is the frustration that I hear coming across men that they be like oh, I don't need to marry you, that's just a piece of paper. It's not about that, god. In the old Testament, god operated out of covenant. Okay, when God had a covenant with Abraham, not only did he, not only did he promise things to Abraham, but he also promised things to his descendants. Okay, so God made an agreement with Abraham and God said because you, because you are walking in my righteousness and because you are walking in my obedience, not only am I going to have this agreement to protect you, to bless you, to prosper you, I'm going to also show my favor to your descendants. Okay, so that's a covenant.

Speaker 2:

The moment you come in, the moment that you become one with a woman and a man, you lay down with them, have sex with them, you become one. That literally is making a covenant with that person a spiritual covenant. You become one. That's why, when you have people, when they go, when they have the recitals or whatever you know marital exchange, they say you know recitals, or whatever you know marital exchange. They say you know, now we are one, you are one, you become one, and sex is what makes you one. Okay, your spirit is now intertwined with her spirit. You take on her habits, she take on everybody else that they slept with.

Speaker 4:

You take on her demons.

Speaker 2:

She take on your demons. And if you haven't, and if you haven't killed or repented from some behaviors from your past like, let's say, you have a problem, you have an addiction with porn, you have an addiction with gambling, before you know it, she's now taking on that appetite because she has become one with you. That is a soul tie. Appetite because she has become one with you. That is a soul tie. That's a soul tie. Your souls are now intertwined and I never I follow a young lady that I like her. Don't idolize her, I just like the way she teaches Her name is Tiffany Montgomery and the way she explained it. She said, literally every time you lay with a person, you leave a fragment of your soul with that person and vice versa.

Speaker 2:

That's why it's hard for me right now I'm coming out of going on a five-year relationship that I've struggled, that I still desire him, I still yearn him because it's my soul that literally that fragment that has to be repaired from me laying up with him and he wasn't my husband. That's why you got to be careful when you call yourself married, because you married the wrong person. You could marry the demon. Who sent you? God sent you? Or did the enemy send you as an assignment to destroy you? Which one? Yeah, but it's only one of two things.

Speaker 5:

I just want to, I think also to not just talk about it from a sexual space. To answer your question, Lamar, a soul ties and I'm an emotional bond like you're describing, but it's not just sexual, it can be in friendships, it can be in family relationships. So it's a strong emotional connection with somebody that again influences your thoughts, feelings, ideas.

Speaker 5:

So it's a psychological thing, it's not just the sexual thing, it's the term, is a spiritual term that people use and a lot of people regulate it to just sex. But you can have soul ties with people at work, you can have soul ties with friendships, you can have soul ties with your family where you are meshed, and so it's just like yeah, so that's so when you say intimate it's not just sex, is not just the only thing that's intimate. No, not at all not at all.

Speaker 5:

It could be verbal as well, so I just wanted to you asked what the definition was, so I wanted to define it.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, good and bad too, and sometimes you can transfer some of that, also behavior. I remember one time it happened to me. It was weird, but I heard about this before so I'm just going to share. I'm no expert on this, but I feel like it happened to me. I'm just going to let y'all have at it. So dude came to LA to visit. I ain't seen the dude in a long time but I remember he was like a real whiny kind of you know, but I didn't remember at the time. But then when he came and stayed with me, he was the same guy, like I found out, but he already got around me so he was in my environment. He short. His license was suspended. Mine wasn't. By the time he ended up leaving, his license was good, my shit got suspended.

Speaker 1:

Oh shit.

Speaker 3:

Because he wore me out with just the same guy, just whiny, complaining, real negative all the time, and I think it's just. You know that just some of that just kind of got on me or something for a minute and it fucked me up and then I had to develop more mental strength to keep that type of person with that type of toxic energy off of me.

Speaker 3:

I'm way better at it. Now I can be around people like that and it won't affect me, but at that time I didn't see it coming. I didn't know that could happen, you know, and we fucking told the places like the fucking movie. I mean, excuse me, can we? Curse on him. Yeah, you curse.

Speaker 3:

Told the places like the movie Right right, so it was wild. So when I hear soul ties, I think something like that might have been intertwined in that. So I don't know what y'all think Did that sound like? Yeah, it sounds like. How long was it?

Speaker 1:

It sounded like in the neighborhood, so you know how about this, like when, let's say, you get a dog and then eventually somebody in the family starts looking like the dog. Is that like soul time?

Speaker 5:

That's just a lookalike of a dog.

Speaker 2:

I don't think that's a soul time.

Speaker 1:

Unless you start barking like the dog I got. I'll tell you somebody in your family looking like the dog. I'll tell you that's how it is.

Speaker 3:

Do dogs really take on human behavior, Sometimes for real? I heard that Dogs take on human behavior.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, dogs do take on human behavior. I do believe that, for sure. I do believe that. But back to cassie. It took her a long time to get herself out of that circumstance because, you know for one, he kept threatening her. You know it was fear. You know the bottom line was fear. You know it took her a long time to get out of it. And also the enablers. Think about the enablers that convinced her to stay, or the enablers that told her that if you leave, you know, you know, this is what's going to happen to you, right?

Speaker 2:

And then he went and found another victim. He went and found another victim, which was a young lady from City Girl, young Miami. From City Girl, young Miami. They went and found him another victim, you know. She told her story. She was being interviewed by. What's her name? What's that stand in six? That's a commentator now Angie Martinez.

Speaker 4:

Angie.

Speaker 2:

Martinez. Yep, she was being interviewed by Angie Martinez and she came from a broken family. She came from a broken home where her mother went to jail. She was the oldest girl and she was taking care of her younger siblings. Didn't have a father in the household and it was just a really devastating story, a really broken story, and I was like that's exactly how Diddy got in. He got in through her feeling abandoned by her feelings worthless and this is my opinion by her feeling worthless, by her feeling like he you know she, she wasn't worth anything, not having a father figure. He was easily to come in like like he was the savior, like I got you. I'm gonna do this for your career. I'm going to do that Like just selling her jewels that led her down to her own you know, her own demise.

Speaker 4:

Because now At the same time, we got to look at it from another standpoint also. A lot of people, when they it's the love of money, They'll do anything for money. And I'm not saying that you know that was her story, but a lot of the times it's all about the bag they're not looking at anything else.

Speaker 2:

So the only way the enemy can entice us. He can't make us do anything. He can only entice us through the mess that we already desire. God knows our hearts. Hype us through the mess that we already desire. God knows our hearts, and if we have certain things hidden in our hearts, we can only be tempted by certain things that we already have. There's nothing good in the flesh baby. We are susceptible to do any and every damn thing. Okay, Period. And she definitely wasn't attracted to the power. She was attracted to the power. She was attracted to that money because she was getting a healthy allowance for her to go and get these sex workers and everybody else to participate in these efforts. So you're saying she's guilty too. So you're saying she's she's no victim, she's guilty too she's not a victim.

Speaker 1:

So you're saying she's guilty too she's not a victim she's guilty too.

Speaker 2:

In my opinion yes.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so, as far as I feel sorry for her, but it's a hard lesson, it's a hard lesson she learned. And, sinequa, I'm going to give you your flowers. I'm going to tell you what you told me when you had the interview and we was talking fresh about the Aditi situation. Yeah, you told me when I said but why she didn't say something when it happened? You said Monty, you don't know how long trauma or something along those lines, how long it would take for somebody to come out. It could be 10 years, it could be. This is you don't know how long trauma or something along those lines, how long it would take for somebody to come out. It could be 10 years, it could be. This is you don't know. You don't know. And then look right after that because I was messaging.

Speaker 1:

It was like two or three weeks and then the video comes out. You know what I'm saying Sounds like wow. So I'm like that is true, you don't never, you don't never really know. You know, you can only assume you can only assume for what you would do.

Speaker 2:

You can only assume for what you would do, because there's steps to the trauma. And there's steps to the trauma. First of all, you feel ashamed ashamed that you even stayed as long as you stayed. You feel guilty, you feel like it's your fault and then you feel like, oh my god, if I came out, who's gonna believe me? The ridicule. You know what I'm saying. Think about how many, how many sexual abuse victims that come out and no one believes them, including their family. So that's so. That's like literally being traumatized all over again. That's hard. Yeah, we can't. We can't limit. We can't limit someone on when they should have came out and told their story, especially men. Think about it with with these men they're embarrassed like they've grown. They've grown asass men. But they were victims. You know what I'm saying. They were victims but again, like my sister was saying, they were attracted to that money, they were attracted to that power, whatever position that they were getting, and they told the rock along with it. You know what?

Speaker 2:

I'm saying you say victim, victim.

Speaker 3:

I believe, I believe if you let, if you let another man play with you at a time that's so.

Speaker 1:

Are we canceling Diddy?

Speaker 5:

are we canceling his music?

Speaker 2:

yo, if you're a grown man if you're a grown man, you ain't canceling R Kelly.

Speaker 1:

You still be stepping in the name of love people still be playing that music, but, yeah, they still be walking out to R Kelly.

Speaker 5:

I went to a party and you never know how deep this stuff running. The DJ started playing R Kelly and a girl that was the party promoter.

Speaker 5:

She came up to the DJ and she just was yelling like, no, you will not, so you just don't know how deep trauma be running for people Like I don't know if that was her story or she was just an advocate at that moment, but she was adamant, like in an angry tone, like turn it off now. And so some people still rocking with Step in the name of love. I feel like I can't listen to r kelly's song now. I don't know. I just listened to biggie the other day and some puffy songs so I don't know how much I could.

Speaker 5:

90s was like my whole life, so I'm struggling with canceling all the 90s yeah, but I mean, look, listen man, um you just I don't know, I can't do R Kelly with no problem, but I still miss his role play he just kick ass.

Speaker 1:

It was not like no real, not like peeing on chicks even peeing on a chick is bad, but it's not like over the top child of child we don't know, he might have killed Kim Porter he might be a murderer.

Speaker 2:

Oh shoot, she's adding on to the. What do you say? The plot pickings? We don't know he might have killed Kim.

Speaker 1:

Porter, he might be a murderer. Oh shoot, she's adding on to the. What did it say? The plot pickings. Who knows, right? Who knows, who knows, who knows, who knows, man, it's a greasy game out here. It's a greasy game.

Speaker 4:

What would y'all do if that?

Speaker 1:

was your girlfriend, if that was your girlfriend and that was your your girlfriend, and if that was your homegirl, what would y'all do at that particular time? And if she tells y'all, don't say nothing, don't say nothing, what would you do? What would y'all do? And you know she's getting an ass beat by him, what would you do?

Speaker 5:

I'm going to say get that ass beat one more time.

Speaker 1:

Let's get this 50 million, we're going to split it. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. What would y'all do? What would you do If that was your homegirl? If that was your homegirl, yeah, but she's saying please, you can't say nothing, authorities, you can't say nothing.

Speaker 4:

That's a hard one, that's a really tough one.

Speaker 2:

Lamont, you want to go there. Remember your boy that lived next door to you. What was his name? The Haitian dude. What's his name?

Speaker 3:

I'm going to tell you a person?

Speaker 2:

no, he wasn't dominant France. France never told you what happened with us.

Speaker 5:

France going to jail. We're France. France never told you what happened with us. France going to jail.

Speaker 2:

We're France. Oh, let me tell you what happened with France. Do you remember the homegirl that, um, the chick that he used to date? They used to wear braids all the time. She was tall, skinny, dark skin. She lived on 54th. She lived on 54th between Clarkson and and, uh, uh, around the corner from me. Okay, let me tell you what happened. He was Fox, was whooping her ass and she and I were very close. Okay, and I told her number of times, times. This is when we were teenagers.

Speaker 2:

I told her a number of times to stop rocking with him to stop fooling with him, giving her black eyes, you know, giving her bruises. She was keeping it from her mother and her father. Okay, yeah, fraud came to pick me up one day. Remember when he had that little Mazda 323, that little blue car.

Speaker 1:

Nah, I can't remember.

Speaker 2:

That's how far we go back with the trauma that I remember. Okay, he had that small little, cute little Mazda 323 and I remember them Because they would always come and pick me up and we would go to you know the different you know, go to the parties together and stuff like that, wherever Dyson and you know Dane and them were playing. So it was the norm that they would come and pick me up, that I would be the third wheel with them, okay yeah he came to pick me up and she was in the front car.

Speaker 2:

She was in the front seat. I didn't know that he had whooped her ass prior to coming to pick me up. Now, mind you, everything that I had advised her to do. She went back and told him oh boy, yeah, yeah, In addition to her going back and telling him what I said or advised her to do, he not only whooped her ass for it, for her listening to her friend, but he also whooped her ass because he thought that she and I were out talking to other guys. So he thought that I was a culprit, a part of that. Okay, so they come to my house to pick me up. I get in the backseat, not knowing nothing.

Speaker 2:

This motherfucker calls up to Wingate school. No one is there. It's late at night. I'm thinking we going to. I think it was. I think we were all going to meet up at White Passage or something like that. I'm thinking we going where everybody else is, after the party or whatever. He drives me and her over to White, over to Wingate, Wingate school, high school.

Speaker 2:

He ordered me to get out of the car and you could talk to him to this day. I want him. I want him to say he never did this Because my mother's boyfriend at the time was going to kill his ass. Wait what he did? He told me to get out. He told me to get out the car and he was like oh, Soniqua, so you told her to leave me, you told her not to talk to me no more, and blah, blah, blah. And I don't remember whatever else he told me or whatever that she said. That I said because that was 30 plus years ago, okay, but I remember that because he opened up his trunk and he was looking for something in his trunk and I knew I was in danger. I knew I was in danger, I had to run. I literally had to run. Thank God that when I got to King County hospital, there was a couple that stopped for me and I jumped in the back of their car and I hid in their car because he was looking for me.

Speaker 2:

So you tell me would you tell a friend? Would you tell a friend to leave him? No, if he just stood there. He stood there and did nothing, with a black eye. He was just as afraid of him as I was.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, my like, if they ain't calling the cops filing a report, you never know, because a lot of times they go back to him. They go back to him, you know.

Speaker 2:

All right, they go back to him.

Speaker 3:

If they serious, they'll take the first step and file a police report. Can't get them to do that. You better stay out of it because they'll go back.

Speaker 1:

So what's your thoughts, Nicole?

Speaker 4:

I mean I just with listening to Shaniqua, I relived a friend of ours growing up and I mean we were teenagers, you, you know, and this guy brutalized our friend. When I say he brutalized her, she was pregnant. He stomped to beat the baby out of her, all kinds of things, and we was begging her please just go ahead and leave him alone. Just you know, and just all kinds of things. She didn't listen. Thank god, you know, she's still alive. I won't disclose her name or anything, but she didn't listen and it's just like at that point, as Danny mentioned, she took him back repeatedly. She had to actually decide on her own time when she wanted to leave.

Speaker 4:

But imagine being a teenager and you seeing somebody just brutalizing your friend, stomping her, beating her down because he felt like it, like she was a punching bag and she's not doing anything. And then she goes back, she gets pregnant, she gets multiple diseases, she goes back, she gets pregnant, she gets multiple diseases, all kinds of things. And I mean this guy I guess he knew what me don't even look at my direction, don't even, don't say anything, don't have my name come out your lips, nothing, because I was stunned. And I mean we tried everything because it was always a group of us. But this person didn't want to listen and she took him back repeatedly. But I'm just grateful that you know she's still alive to this day, but imagine that kind of trauma.

Speaker 5:

I think you know there's so many different reasons why people stay. Would I fight for my friend? I think I would have to fight for her in a way that it wasn't gonna affect me being her as well. So if it was me that I knew somebody, I never do good with hypothetical stuff, but, um, I think I will force her to like, probably find some resources now. There are plenty of resources that you can get out in the middle of the night. You know they got underground resources or people that help batter women. So probably for reasons like this, because people are scared to leave. So I think I will probably find her the resources to go and hope that she would want to go, and that would be all I could do there.

Speaker 1:

There's a lot of people saying, oh, the other people should be held accountable. Who was there for Cassie? But imagine close friends won't do nothing for you, like y'all saying you would not want to take the chance of you getting yourself involved in it. But imagine people just getting they hired help, they hired, they got a nine to five. They like I don't care, they. You know what I mean, but it's crazy. It's crazy Me personally.

Speaker 1:

I remember a situation with my sister. She wound up having a bruise on her arm and it looked like a. It looked like. It looked like a, like a lighter, it looked like a lighter thing. And I looked like a lighter, it looked like a lighter thing. And I'm like what is that?

Speaker 1:

She was with this guy, the same child's father excuse me, the same child's father, my nephew. When he was six months, he told my sister listen, I won't work, so you won't get child support. And 17 years later he never paid her dime. But like right after they broke up, which was like probably when my nephew was three, he would threaten her right, he would tell her certain things. She'd be like what you gonna do? You gonna tell your brother, go ahead, tell him. But she knew, she knew, he knew that she loved him that much that she wouldn't tell me. But you know, everything came out once and I told her. You know what, no matter the fact that she wasn't three, it was the baby, was, was one, my nephew was one she got the courage to leave him because she still had a piece of him by her, by having his child. I told her, that's the only reason. You were the only reason, the only reason that you did leave him is because you still had something of his. And then now she wants to tell me about the burn he gave her two years ago in the zone. And then telling me what he said oh, go ahead and tell your brother. Go ahead and tell your brother, but knowing that she wasn't going to tell me. But I said now you're going to tell me, years later. Now you're going to tell me.

Speaker 1:

But this is a messed up situation all around the board. Man, and I'm feeling sorry for her. And again, as friends, you be put in situations. Look, shaniqua trying to help her friend and next thing, you know, she rats her out. Situations Look, shaniqua trying to help her friend and next thing, you know, she rats on, she rat her out. And then now Shaniqua got to run. She got to run. Lucky thing she was near a hospital, right she was, she ran up the line yeah, she had to run.

Speaker 3:

You found out about that years later.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, about, about. I know, bro, which one you talking about Burning my sister, yeah.

Speaker 3:

And all that yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I found out. Found out years later.

Speaker 3:

She should have said that that would have been A real easy fix. She could have just said Anything, that would have been.

Speaker 1:

She knew what would have happened to him.

Speaker 3:

She could have had A great relationship she could have.

Speaker 1:

They would have still been together. Yo, listen, listen, let me tell you A great relationship.

Speaker 3:

She could have. They would have still been together. Yo, listen, listen. Let me tell you. Let me tell you, he would have been the most loving.

Speaker 1:

Yo, he was like, I'm going to tell you he was. You could tell again. There's signs in the beginning of a relationship. There was times when there was a time that everybody was hanging on for a second On the corner. I was in my late 20s, no mid-20s. However, my sister was 18. That's when she was dating him.

Speaker 1:

Mind you, this is a Friday night. My sister is gallivanting up Church Avenue, walking past the block. Mind you, I left the house. He was there with her and he had a bike downstairs. She's gallivanting, going by herself.

Speaker 1:

I said where you going, walking past me and everybody to go. I'm going to get some Chinese soup. I said what. I said yo, is the homeboy at the house. She said yeah. I said why are you going? And he's there. She said oh nah, I'm just going to go. So she went that way.

Speaker 1:

I went that way. I went right back to the house. So I go upstairs. I didn't want to go straight to him. So I go act like I'm playing a little video game real quick.

Speaker 1:

I said yo, I'm looking at the TV, I'm trying to look at him in his face and I said yo, listen, anything happen to my sister, you're going to find out the hard way. You're going to find out the hard way. I said you got a bike downstairs. Mind you, I don't want to look at him in his face. I said you got a bike downstairs and it's like 10 o'clock at night. You got my sister walking. You got a bike downstairs and it's like 10 o'clock at night and you got my sister walking the street. I said yo, listen, you're going to find out. And right away he got on his bike, took his black ass over there to go meet her over there at the Chinese street. Again, you see certain signs of certain characteristics. And then look years later this is the same clown, because they've been together for like another 10 years. And then she has a kid with this thing and he's talking about he don't want to pay child support. You knew that back then, you know. But Cassie, she might have still signed.

Speaker 3:

She wasn't talking, she didn't know, because the details, it's the little details that we miss out on, it's the little things that connect bigger things and it becomes one complete understanding.

Speaker 3:

There's so many. There's so many missing parts in the bridge. We have portions of what we understand fully and we don't get the full story. They don't know how to operate through every phase of it. You know what I mean. So she makes mistakes, but she didn't have the information it shows in the results. You know what I mean. She had the right information and we don't know what they don't know Because we don't have those talks. We ain't always comfortable having those conversations. You know what I mean. But we got to start looking at it from a realistic standpoint. We got to have those tough talks so we got to give them an understanding on how to operate and move, because we can't just watch them make mistakes and expect anything other than if we didn't teach them.

Speaker 3:

I wasn't taught how to date. Was you taught how to date? I never dated to get married. I never dated to get married and I got fucking my name drugged like crazy. But I didn't know that everybody dated to get married. I thought sometimes you could just stay together, just fuck it, you know. Just stay together.

Speaker 1:

You know what I mean.

Speaker 3:

I'm rocking with you. You're rocking with me.

Speaker 1:

I didn't know how important it was to have a kid at an early age, a younger age. I didn't know how important it was to have a kid at a young age. I didn't know the importance of it.

Speaker 3:

You know, ultimately, marriage needs to be revisited, I think, to make it more attractive for more people to want to do it. It's not a commercial.

Speaker 2:

Y'all moms, just ain't looking too good at all.

Speaker 5:

You get married, have a couple wives.

Speaker 3:

It looks real good from certain angles, but certain angles they ain't really looking too hot.

Speaker 5:

So we got to talk about that.

Speaker 3:

We got to get a little bit more balanced. A little bit, a little bit. Look they laughing, y'all smiling.

Speaker 1:

Why am I saying that, are you saying there should be more participants in the marriage, or what? What are you saying?

Speaker 3:

I think, marriage is down now because the rules changed. So in the face of you know, not both parties.

Speaker 5:

I mean damn.

Speaker 2:

It's like you know what's the rules I got to.

Speaker 5:

You got to tell me what the rules are talking about. She want to know about the rules. What rules I?

Speaker 1:

gotta, you gotta tell me what the rules you talking about. She wanna know about the rules. What rules?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, what you mean, the rules Like let's just get the elephant out the room. Ah, that's a bit steep, that's a lot. Oh, that elephant, that's a lot Like if it don't work out. So it's not really incentivized for the man to want to participate in it. It's like damn, I'm going to lose half my shit. Let me sign it. Let me sign this paper and lose half. Nobody want to do that. Oh, let me get in line. They don't really. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2:

Did you grow up around?

Speaker 5:

married couples. May I ask were your parents married? Did you grow up seeing them? Not successfully.

Speaker 3:

No, not successfully. I found out. But you get what you get. You find out it's fucked up later. That was fucked. But I only had one chance to see how fucked you see normal people, that you see how fucked up your shit was my shit was fucked up, man, but but you never was married.

Speaker 1:

How you gonna say that?

Speaker 2:

and and I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I I.

Speaker 3:

I, I, I, I I.

Speaker 2:

I, I, I I.

Speaker 3:

I, I, I can fucking laugh at it.

Speaker 4:

Well, it's never too late. You can get married. Never too late.

Speaker 3:

I got good lessons out of it though, so it was still good in there, even though it wasn't your traditional normal shit you see on fucking TV.

Speaker 4:

Don't get my fucking marriage, but it should have been on.

Speaker 3:

TV. It would have been a fucking sight to see, it would have been a fucking sight to see if it was on TV. But you don't want to broadcast shit like that. You don't want to put that type of shit out there. You know to people, to the world, you want to make it look good. Shit wasn't always good, the Huxtables. You know to people, to the world, you want to make it look good. She wasn't always good.

Speaker 2:

The Huxtables and the Jeffersons were your teacher.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, that shit wasn't nothing like that man. Shit was real, shit was real.

Speaker 4:

Keep Hope alive. You can get married again. You trying to scare me.

Speaker 5:

I don't think he was ever married.

Speaker 1:

Nah, he was not married. I was never married. He don't have experience in the marriage part. He's just talking about why he doesn't get married.

Speaker 3:

I was never married and I lost the house. You can pick out losing if I did get married.

Speaker 4:

Well, you know what Sometimes you got to take a loss for peace of mind. If you got your peace of mind, you got to take a loss. You, absolutely, you can't get it better, and that's the problem with people nowadays they're so materialistic and I'm going to lose this. I'm going to lose that. I want my peace.

Speaker 3:

I don't know if you can see my face, but did it look painful when I said that? I don't know if my face showed that? Know if my face showed up, but I'm pretty sure if it did show up there was no sign of pain from that. It was such a relief to wake up just with a chance for the day to go well. That's more valuable. Over a period of time it becomes so much clearer, to the point where you could walk away from something like that with a smile.

Speaker 5:

And never think negatively of it.

Speaker 3:

Never think negatively of it.

Speaker 4:

That's your piece. You gotta look at it from the angle. Where did I learn from all of that?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, because you can live with it. You got your life back. You know you can't really put a number on that Absolutely, because people stay places and their attitude reflects your environment. If you're not happy, I think would you agree.

Speaker 5:

Yeah, I'd be happy with yourself.

Speaker 3:

It reflects your environment. So you'll be a more pleasant person taking your ass off on your own and just go ahead and start over and do it right away, because you'll be better at it.

Speaker 5:

Is that what you learned? That was what you learned. Did you learn that?

Speaker 3:

Self-preservation, absolutely, that's God's first commandment, I believe. Self-preservation, you gotta love you too.

Speaker 4:

Absolutely Protecting your peace.

Speaker 3:

I could have stayed there and been dead right, because that's what being in a bad relationship could do, that energy. You sleeping with the enemy, all that. It's no good. You know telling them off for the kid. The kid could feel all that negative. You know you better just. You know just for the kid. The kid can feel all that negative. You know you better all. Just take the L.

Speaker 4:

That's a whole different podcast. Kids know.

Speaker 5:

They know when parents aren't happy.

Speaker 2:

They grow up, they don't stay kids forever Girl.

Speaker 1:

Kids kids kids. They feel that pain, they feel that energy, they feel that negative energy.

Speaker 4:

They do and then they'll tell you once they become an adult oh, mom and dad, I remember y'all always fight. We couldn't wait for y'all to break up. Hey, you just never know,

The Diddy Situation
Discussion on Power, Abuse, and Accountability
Exploring Domestic Abuse and Manipulation
Understanding Soul Ties and Relationships
Trauma and Abuse
Navigating Complex Relationship Dynamics
Lessons in Self-Preservation and Happiness